convoluted ramblings chronologically regurgitated

Non sequiturs

2009-01-13T03:55:00.003+08:00

I just lost the spunk for blogging. And now I suddenly realise why people keep changing their blogs so often - to be rid of the past - but also to get back that spunk, that eagerness, that ease/lucidity of fingers tap-dancing away on the keyboard like free.

When I pride myself on nostalgia. A keen sense of the past. My heritage. The past IS me.

Bah. I'll do something soon enough, since even Gabriel (Thuan Liang) started prodding me to do something about this stagnating site.

Life's more and more full of ups and downs. Mine, at least, since when compared to the lives of many other hardworking fellows I realise I'm getting jealous of.

More non sequiturs coming up. Oh dear, what kind of essays will I write in future?

A Little (Backdated) Yelp

2008-10-06T22:33:00.006+08:00

The ends of the year are nigh.
Save me.
Work still outstanding, not outstanding work.
Die.

In the meantime, If There Are 120 Days of Sodom:

A Sincere and Hopefully Unselfish but Probably
Ineffectual Contract to Salvage Myself

let x = number of Days Left to the Ends (that sometimes justify the means) of the Year:

x = a (absolute number of days left) - Lit trip from 16-22 September - 1 day of DMP hours (minus Lit trip = 27 hours) - I (inconstant amount of time for Gulliver's Travels dramatisation) - sleep hours - eating hours - bathing hours - random procrastinating moments

= 30 - (OMG)

approximately = 0

I swear to complete this mission to get a GPA of 3.60 if not better. I also swear to complete this mission to get an A1 for HMT O-levels. Incidentally, I would also like to swear to stay alive in the process.

Signed,
WJS

as of 10 September 2008, 9 days before the 3rd sorry anniversary of this sorry blog.

This is archaic by now, and I have not managed to salvage myself properly. Will describe in due course.

a minor farewell

2008-09-10T20:29:00.004+08:00

It's one month and 2 days = 30 days before the sacred final round of judgement, today. This thought just catalysed (and crystallised - ah, hints of bogus chem revision) all that I've been going through for a few months already, especially after a really frank discussion on the known near future with Norman, Matthias, Andrew and Leon in class during the three-hour long RE free period.

I haven't blogged in a very long time, and I'm not going to pretend that I don't know that and make this post seem as if I have been very committed to the whole affair of blogging. Kieran's clarion call seems ages ago anyway. And I'm somewhat guilty for brushing this enterprise aside, and using the blog as a gateway to blogsurf elsewhere instead of being true and faithful to writing something vaguely reflective/philosophical/personal. I can't bring myself to report on grossly overdue stuff anyway - now's just not the time.

But well, I owe this blog to no one but myself, and as I've kind of established before in my more emotional posts in the past, I only attempt to extract and articulate some of my more meaningful bits of crap swimming in my head when I feel the irresistable urge to. It's probably analogous to some kind of bowel movement, if one should get the drift. *I had no idea that it would come out like that, but* Out it comes in one shot, though I must admit that it is no less a laborious endeavour to try and cough (won't use terminology for the other end) than any other piece of work I entrust myself to complete.

Scatology aside, what I wanted to do with this post is to actually state a temporary leave of absence from my blogging or blog-related activities, which have essentially ceased anyway. As I've mentioned enough already, this blog seems to contain more records of myself apologising for not blogging, and contains nothing but a few thousand kilobytes of random rubbishy convoluted paragraphs, incidentally sounding like this one. But I wanted - quite recurringly and now quite acutely - to register a sense of fear that I've been somewhat avoiding for some time.

And it's rearing it's ugly head. No, probably, it's just me rearing my own ugly head, and it's not to do with the recent haircut which I had last Saturday (incidentally rather satisfying, considering that I detest having hair remotely breaching the tops of my ears). It's really about the same old problem of having been overcommitted to CCA and individual projects that the language and humanities teachers simply relish to assign. And, what, three terms on, with nothing but ONE month and two days between me and the previously far-removed EOYs (excluding a final showcase portfolio, written biography, CLE poster to reinforce my moral compass, testimonial (!), history creative product and portfolio reflections, 3 zuowens, one zhuantizuoye, an essay on man, CCA record forms, a Lit trip to Australia lasting one week, a Gulliver Travels' dramatisation and probably certain forgotten-but-important things I've forgotten (conveniently as usual, owing to my superb memory)), I am well and truly breaking my covenant of making a stronger vote of confidence as to strengthening the numerical appeal of my academic results, nicely summed up in 3 significant figures: my dismal G.PA.

Okay. For once I wrote something useful in the prior paragraph. But that's not enough. As the storm clouds begin to gather, threatening to set me awash in a freezing bath of panic and expectant misery, I foresee myself having to slog it out for sleepless nights ahead, desperately trying to make ends meet. While I've enjoyed life in RI and RP (as will be featured when the EOYs are over and done with) (and this is not the run-of-the-mill brainwashing statement-making moment randomly appearing in chunks of convoluted text), I nonetheless have the constant fear in my mind and every single thing I do that I simply have no time.

I have clear goals as to where I'm headed. I know that to some extent, I've got the background and some groundwork already done. And most of all, I know I'm going to enjoy what I'm heading towards. But the constant struggle never evades me (unlike maths, by no coincidence). The struggle to simply put things down and just mug for dear life. It's the persistence of the perfectionistic mindset (another thing that never evades me), when I know I'm more imperfect than loads of other people out there. It's this shortsighted view that I want to do my best and get the best grades possible for every single assignment and give nothing but the cursory emotion of self-pity when I see dumpy results for math TAs and CCTs. And it's just an addiction, an affliction never going to budge unless I obliterate that perfectionistic, heaven-may-care, don't-care-what-time-I-sleep-so-long-as-I'm-satisfied-with-what-I'm-doing-and-I'm-going-to-(maybe)-score-for-this-assignment-so-it's-fail-this-fail-that-but-I-think-I-can-do-it-if-I-try-harder-next-time attitude.

There's just no end to it. And of course we all know next times are numbered and finite. Like how maths is (most parts of it where I'm concerned anyway).

And like what millions out there should have probably angsted about throughout humanity's history, all this is simply tragic irony. My goal is to try to qualify for RJ's Humanities Programme, and seek a career in future really in some form of public service. I extricated this in my head last year, and I've gone on and clarified it. But I haven't cleared the road to it. Yet. I'm hoping.

There are probably loads out there who qualify as well, if not better. There's going to be competition. The truth is that we live in a meritocracy, and I don't think I'm going to do justice to my yearning to do something productive to society, to truly leave a mark on this earth before leaving, since I do acknowledge that I have severe limitations. Like procrastination and over-over-perfectionism leading to my losing track of the big picture. And being productive to society is in a way that I know is going to be through my inclinations towards the expository and dialectical - the humanities, rather than anything else. I'm just going to be small and insignificant, if I can't clear this final hurdle before me. And I'm sincerely hope that I'm not going to be less significant than those three significant figures.

Let this be my cathartic 30 days of reversal.

A new post

2008-07-27T23:10:00.004+08:00

Coming soon, on everything since Fast and Fresh, which should be stationary and stale by now. And there's still RMUN. And the hols that went by in a flash. And APCG. And Drama Feste.

And a load of hits and misses, with misses being more than hits. Were there hits anyway?

And I don't feel like writing anymore - for this post I mean.

Respite from the road to perdition

2008-05-25T23:46:00.004+08:00

Due to the existence of irresistibly enticing pictures that follow, I shouldn’t expect many people to read what I have to say before going on to that. Except that as usual, there’s been so much to do in the past few weeks that I haven’t been updating as per normal. Fast and Fresh’s depressingly over, and not to mention the disturbing results that I’ve been gathering, and the backlog of a thousand and one other different things that’ve happened so far. All that, however, is simply too content-heavy and over-sentimental to elucidate at such short notice.

So here’s one of those rare photo posts that I ever produce, and this time it’s really to my convenience that I do this. For 1) I have RMUN and APCG stuff to tend to within this week, 2) I have not the time nor stamina to supply another regular dosage of verbosity and 3) I promised to be inspired to do this after viewing Fiona’s and Shumei’s blogs of late.

Chafe yourself at my tantalisingly ridiculous visage over the past 16 years. Unlike others I don’t know how to conclude whether my physical changes have turned out to be a state of progression or regression.

Occupying one-third of the RInspire coverpage

2008-04-30T21:49:00.005+08:00

Before I segue into talking about some of the, how should I say, intrapersonal issues I’m fending off for the moment, just felt that the day before wasn’t as bad a CCT day as I thought. I basically spent the majority of last weekend mugging Chem and frantically doing differentiation in the hope of edging closer towards a few digits worthy of eye candy towards the end of this year. And as usual, with the permanence of math tuition set in every Sunday afternoon, Sunday has just become just about the most dreary day of the week. The sense of urgency to do the things I know that I haven’t done, and the sense of dread that I know that I can’t finish both the things that I know I haven’t done and those that I don’t know and have yet to do, no matter how much I try is just so irritating. Needless to say the imminent arrival of Monday, the first day of the work week and the day of reckoning every cycle of seven days isn’t much of a help at all in boosting morale. It was in such a mood of displacement (no chem pun intended) from the urge to mug that I don’t think I really spent many man-hours packing Chem into my head, only to feverishly panic somewhat towards the late afternoon by reciting reactivity/solubility/ion test lists and miscellaneous stuff.

So the wondrous, surreal, out-of-this-world feeling of euphoria I had after doing the Chem CCT, I think, was rather undeserving for someone who didn’t exactly mug everything to the core as he should have. Just as undeserving as well, I might just add, was my feature in the RInspire mag. It’s quite apparent when my CV of competitions, and more importantly, the basic qualification for a person of “high calibre” is comparatively bare with regard to the other two (i.e. Nigel and Si Yuan). Look no further than the inclusion of the number of pics in the feature – precisely because I haven’t actually taken part in many things worth taking photo-ops of, I have fewer photos in my feature as compared to the others. True, as I say (and often reassure myself), the spirit to give one’s all and the drive to sharpen oneself exist. But I can’t deny the reality that concrete results need to lend some kind of gravitas to the aspirations that just about anyone can profess to have. Truth be told, I don’t even think I have the perseverance of the two other said individuals to pull through countless sleepless nights (this I have done before but not on the sustained level of many more deserving unsung heroes), or hot sun for that matter. And I know very, very well how much a procrastinator I can be. All that I’ve shown is basically my insufficiently tapped potential to achieve things – often misconstrued with true ability and the true tenacity to pull through. I quote a random blogger – these days blogs are the way to gather feedback:

And yeah, today was the release of the April 2008 version of RInspire. The school magazine. On the cover is supposedly 3 handsome guys. 1 of them being [...] nigel fong. Another 1 is my house captain SiYuan. and some random low profile guy i’ve never seen b4.

I really wonder who’s the “random low profile guy I’ve never seen b4”. There’s always this nagging sense of being wrongly categorised somehow, that somewhere, somehow, millions of people out there should be where I stand.

Moving on to more interesting stuff, the Interhouse Humanities Quiz was a blast! I think we began work some time during the March hols, and for much of the past few weeks Yong Sheng took the helm of coordinating practically everything. Not trying to sound biased here, but most of the comments (other than certain individuals not numbering more than what I can count with my fingers) have turned out to be overwhelmingly positive. Much of my work was basically to set the History questions, and vet the questions and systems that we put in place. Though, of course, the theme could have been much more interesting than something like What on Earth is 185? There was quite a lot of active participation from the audience while I was on stage overseeing much of what was going on, what with cat-calling and actually people interested in suggesting answers. We were kind of fearing that the questions were just somewhat too out-of-this-world (how ironic) that people’ll just turn off on cue. My only regret would be having ill-advised Shou Jian about the Buckley selections – but nonetheless they pulled through with the Environment and Geog questions.

With S24 and the Humanities quiz over and done with, it’s been easier for the past two or three days with sufficient time to cope with matters. Of course, the work never ends, and May is just about among the more hiong of months to come. There’s Fast and Fresh, a 10-minute play production to oversee (Jon Lian’s script made it), RMUN, my RE exhibition layer, Bio CCT, HCL CCT and at least another fifty-odd things to do on my to-do list.

And I’ll prove that I can have my buffet and eat it.

Playing the fool

2008-04-26T22:15:00.003+08:00

As usual, much has happened with the passage of the past 2 weeks since the last post, and I’m beginning to see this sentence as something of a template starter for all my posts nowadays. I’m always feeling this itch to blog that’s preventing me from doing other stuff, because I’d otherwise not do any justice to all that I’ve been doing already; yet it pains me to rack my brains on what to say of it. Anyway, while I’m trying quite hard to recollect all that has happened, most of these past 2 weeks have really been characterised by one thing: Shakespeare 24. As alluded to in the last post, countless hours have been spent on it – and overall I think I’ve really learnt something I’d never thought I would.

Like Kieran, I didn’t want to get too tangled up in this. I came in, regrettably, with a very self-centred motivation – to fulfil what I promised Ms Kuang in this personal development contract that everyone was supposed to do. I just wanted to slack around during rehearsals doing my own work until it was time for me to say my lines, do my actions and blah, and shirk everything else to those who were in charge. Other than performing as the elderly, tottering Duncan, I saw nothing else in S24 that I should’ve taken responsibility for. To Ms Johnson’s, Chris Koay’s and Ms Chew’s respective chagrins, I suppose everyone else mainly adopted that same attitude (or lack thereof) for the majority of the production work.

I’m willing to face the fact that our play was, with all due respect to the status of Macbeth as the cursed play, doomed from the start – notwithstanding the fact that I realised how much I’ve had fun doing it and learning from it. Truth is, all that I remember from doing S24 is about all the flaws each and every one of us had, not just as the stage characters we tried to portray, but also as people trying to cooperate together as a team. There was a combined discontent against the way the production was being carried out – by means of having more than one director (by every measure a no-no for most productions I’ve ever known and ever been in), each coming down on the cast and crew alike with such unbridled fury I’ve never known to exist in the theatrical scene. Most of my vivid recollections of the process of blocking each scene for hours were largely of either Chris or Ms Johnson defining the demeanour of the various actors, switching roles around, or basically exploding on stage.

And then there were the hours. Not that I’m not used to staying back in school beyond the bearable threshold of 8pm, but sustaining this much stamina for every single night for 2 weeks was definitely a first. Time for doing the usual copious amount of CCA/schoolwork is limited as it is already – and in the process I think much of these have taken quite a bit of flak. At least 3 or 4 assignments (large ones) have all been coincidentally shored up for Week 7, and I imagine slogging all these out, in addition to preparing for Fast and Fresh, and RJCO concert wouldn’t be much of a ball.

Yet in retrospect I think all this was inconsequential. For one, S24 has been rather bittersweet. All this while I had the sensation of being pushed to do things the way that those in charge wanted; we sort of succeeded in making a statement as the only tragic play in two nights of comedies, yet failed in functioning properly as proper human beings in our behaviour; and on watching the video that my dad assiduously filmed of my scenes on opening night, I realise how poor my portrayal and voice projection was. Most importantly, I’ve learnt to appreciate the drama behind the drama, that we really disappointed those who had the faith to trust us to carry Macbeth through. I won’t mention names, but the fact is all the trouble that we’ve given to the organisers and those in charge of us was a group responsibility and not just that of petty individuals. While we managed to the best of our abilities to heal those scars that were inflicted, some wounds just run deep.

But it was a fun experience nonetheless. Chicken rice every meal wasn’t much of a turn-on, but waiting in the wings for the four magical moments on stage (there were three only in the end, because my dying scene got axed for the logistical impossibility) was. Putting on makeup was actually funny; I was a kungfu master on opening night, while a tiger for the closing. And who can forget how prodigiously long Bhargav took to learn how to catch Lady Macbeth, or pick her up from the ground?

I know that the actual performances were our two best ones – even if the audience laughed at the weirdest of parts. Macbeth IS a tragedy after all, and is not meant to have laughter-inducing effects. I know everyone put in their all for everything. We pulled it off.

I know that I’ve learnt something when the fun of it all is in waiting in the wings with the rest, correcting one another, as much as doing our own stuff on stage selfishly.

I strike back with the force of one

2008-04-07T02:31:00.001+08:00

Not that I’ve suddenly got a lot of time, but I decided to at least give this blog a new lease of life before wild grasses start appearing all over the screen and before I know it, Blogger shuts down my blog. After all, this is a 3 to 4-year accumulation of thoughts and things that characterise my life so much. The need to post hasn’t festered this much in months.

A great big lot has happened, flew by in the past month or so. My birthday was insignificantly microscopic, as usual, and I also don’t really see much point in focusing so much on it. Mental age counts more than physical age; and as I said on the tagboard some weeks ago, the inevitable passing of time is more to be pitied than celebrated. It’s indefinite, but in actual sense every year that passes is a countdown to the time when I breathe my last. Tell me that’s not what we’re celebrating during our birthdays. What I see, every New Year’s Day, Chinese New Year, the end and the start of each month, every observance, every routine event – is just a plethora of missed opportunities. It’s always, what could I have done better? What more could I have done? It’s never really much of a celebration. And the sadness of never ever being able to relive when I was 15, or 14, or 9 or 4 that sets in more than anything else. Sure, birthdays are something to remember, but not celebrate. How selfish it is, indeed, to impose on others with something so personal – I mean that’s what some would say, and, uh, not me.

Academics turned out to be mightily disappointing. I actually didn’t pass the HCL test because I didn’t finish the stupid 长文缩短, scored lower than expected for Lit, Maths and Bio, marginally okay for Chem and English, and flunked the ERP presentation with stinking colours. But what’s worse is that I haven’t settled into a manageable position for the rest of the year. I don’t feel settled in yet, that I’m in a position of balance between CCA/school stuff and the all-important academics. I’m still drifting by and doing things on an ad hoc basis, fluttering about in the barrage of things that just come into my way.

Can’t remember all the stuff that’s happened so far, and I’ll definitely reach back on them some time or another. Between last week and this, however, much has happened (as usual) because it’s basically the first de facto week of the term. Had SLO/Raffles Leaders’ meeting on Thursday, which wasn’t a total flop, but nonetheless a very chilling verdict on how much commitment we’ve got from our people. LT2 was about 3/5 full, at best, and a lot of people were fiddling around with homework, handphones and one another. None but a select few were actively talking, and only a few of the few were not talking some version of nonsense. Truth is, not many people see the relevance of such an organization. Most thought it’d just drain them of their time and resources, and CCA responsibilities themselves are quite enough to undertake. Keng Chee told me on MSN that we shouldn’t have allowed everyone to question our purpose, but isn’t it necessary to let them question it? That was the purpose of the SLO, to let the members themselves define what they want it to be and to do. I didn’t know until Thursday that the organization failed with last year’s Sec 4s, for one. And there’s so much more that I don’t know about.

The end of all this was to come when I talked to the UG people after the whole meeting. It wasn’t fruitless, since we managed to talk about loads of school stuff, but a lot of people were more concerned about the question about why we chose to take this up, and what we’re going to do with it. I said I wanted to do something to the school before graduating for good. But is it going to be the expense of myself? Are we all just pawns of the school trying to upkeep the standards of the past? Sure, it’s training for the future and it’s probably going to be good for me as experience – but on top of that, would I be better off being a nonchalant student not knowing anything else in the world but how to eat, sleep and mug?

To top everything off the list, I’m now involved heavily in Shakespeare 24, a dramatic performance of an abridged Macbeth. Organisation has been utterly nonexistent for the past few weeks since the elearning period, and things look very scary from the way they are now. We’re merely 2 weeks away from the actual production, the cast and crew haven’t been confirmed yet (imagine Macbeth without Lady Macbeth) and we never have enough time and space for a full raw run. Worse yet, because of a gross lack of time, I’m going to have to stay back in school every single day until 23 April till 9pm. At this rate, I’m never going to do work on time, revise for upcoming Maths CCT in week 5, go for much of ORA day, or go for Saturday practices for CO.

What a joyous week it is.

(x, not) Three more days

2008-03-03T00:07:00.001+08:00

18 March edit: Indefinite (x) amount of hiatus, until end of week. But this seems redundant anyway.

From the outset it seems that I can’t sustain blogging even on a weekly scale anymore, not being the kind who seem to find it effortless to rattle off whatever that comes to mind. I’m still busy with a lot of work now, even in the post-CCT period due to clever manipulating in the past week to avoid the avalanche of work.

I’m feeling very dispirited now, though. I’ve just proven to myself that it isn’t only about my slower pace of doing work that’s hindering me; it’s how I spread myself out. This struggle to complete everything, cover all holes and prevent myself from panicking has been that one defining feature of my entire schooling life. It’s always been this ratrace to finish the things that come by, and inevitably miss.

Within three days, I shall see the light at the end of the tunnel.

What a happy birthday I almost forgot about.

Commedia dell'arte, Act One

2008-02-17T23:53:00.005+08:00

This goes out to the YZ people: sorry if I sounded sarcastic the last time round about the pangseh. I was never angry about it, so relax. Come to think of it, comedy done wrong turns into sarcasm, which can get really offensive sometimes.

Everything's starting to grind now, and I'm beginning to get caught in the act of improvising. Commedia dell'arte. Which turns out to be comedic again and again.

After a strangely prolonged honeymoon over the last six weeks or so, I guess even the school is getting tired of not getting anywhere very much. Bio practical was structured very vaguely, and apparently some people managed to get the entire set of test questions from the Internet? An example of a particularly surprising question goes like that, “Name three interesting findings from the experiment.” Or consider “How do your results compare with other groups’?” Open-endedness on this level, I’d have to say, is both much unprecedented and much appreciated in a scientific discipline like bio. I might get axed, on the other hand, since it is infamously presumptive to double-cross the test like that.

I managed to use a microfilm machine on Tuesday, which was a tantalising experience – apart from the rather tedious process of fixing in the reel of microfilm. Spent an entire afternoon with Rich in the Lee Kong Chian reference library at Bugis for the first time in my life. I’d thought the library required special clearance, but no. And I have to say that this is really the sai kang part of RE now – for the next 2 months or so, we’re going to have to put together research on advertising trends from 1945 to the 1970s.

At least I managed to clear 3 months of the Straits Times uninterrupted in five hours of research. Not bad, but there’re like at least 50 other considerable publications to look at as well. And the postwar newspapers were only four pages long per issue – compare that to what, 60-plus pages in the 60s and 70s. Utterly, utterly tedious work ahead.

Chem OBA on Friday was, well, not great, despite recent comments from other classes about how easy it was. I don’t expect to do particularly well; after all, doing the writing start until 2am the night before and so missing out on revision doesn’t bode well even for an open-book test. Total Defence celebration right after that, in which teachers shared their NS experiences after a screening of a bit of Army Daze. Thing is, none of them are in NS now.

Friday afternoon was a harrowing one. Aaron Maniam’s talk on a future in humanities was interesting, though many of the things he mentioned I largely had some idea of already. The humanities are pervasive. Though this wasn’t raised, the reason why the humans are so important is that they somehow make sense of man’s environment and interactions on top of the sciences that provide the foundations. Not to say science isn’t important, but to realise its implication for humanity, that’s where some might say the humanities play their role.

Rushed off during Q&A to go for the playwriting workshop by Michael Huxley. It was incredibly fun, what with the clapping games and drama improvisation. His tips on freewriting weren’t new though (raking up ugly memories again). Following which, I had to rush off to the hall for the CNY dinner RICO performance, where we played the same old songs again. For the past 3 years running already, if I’m not wrong. Do we only have those two old folks’ songs? I sense hypocrisy in the whole affair.

After the performance I moved the dagu almost single-handedly (with the help of Ryan and some of the rugby people training outside), which taught me not to underestimate the number of steps in RI. Luckily a percussion member came by to help out. I almost left the school when Ms Lim called me to get 2 stands for the succeeding performance. So much for going home by 7.30pm latest. At least I had a tasteful chat with Kailun and Edmund after all the bustling around.

Missed bulk of CO practice in the morning, for the CA quiz prep. Ju Hua Tai yesterday was surprisingly better and palatable. Kudos to Dongheng for transposing everything to G major (seriously rhythmless semiquavers in F isn’t exactly appealing). And the loh hei was great!

Math CCT tomorrow just pulls the plug, doesn’t it?

Losing a grip on tradition

2008-02-10T15:14:00.000+08:00

Change, as it seems, has been and will be the hallmark of whatever that’s set to happen this year. I hear strains of Barack Obama’s rhetoric on the audacity to hope for change; there’s the perennial 185 anniversary celebrations; it’s the final year in RI, the last leg of the race; but most importantly, I can’t describe this fully enough, but in the face of coming of age and the abandonment of an ever-distant childhood of innocence, there’s going to be an irrevocable upheval of the nostalgic past. Evidently this is going by the assumption that everything in the past was good, but nevertheless we pessimistic postmodernists (or rather emo kids) would hardly like to assert that the present is worthy of much praise comparable to that of our bygone times.

Let’s start with RICO. It isn’t very encouraging, every now and then, to burn off a whole afternoon from 1.30 to 6.30pm just plain waiting inside the hall for a 9-minute tech rehearsal and performance. That suggests a lot about the efficiency of CNY planning and more importantly, how much we’re being slighted on the whole. Some other groups were taking a much longer time before us (a dance item, if I’m not wrong) and held up the orchestra for about an hour and a half – and only then it was decided we couldn’t wait anymore (since people had to go home before 7 and all) that we were hastily dismissed in the squash courts behind the hall. It’s fun playing in the squash courts. Where else do you get to hear yourself amplified 10 times round? We had a final rehearsal in the courts before leaving.

The CNY performance on Wednesday was an improvement on the previous stroke of disaster in the Atrium; nonetheless, as some RICO junior/batchmate put it as we were lugging the instruments back to the CO room, tuo jie still plagues RICO. Chuiguan and tanbo collectively broke up with huqin and cello/bass. And we’re still going to play the two hackneyed pieces for the 15 February performance for old folks. Sometimes I guess practicality intervenes with our more lofty/far-fetched aims of diversifying our repertoire. Anyway, after the performance everyone was dismissed from RJCO room, while I was the only person to stay back in the RIGE room to jaga the bags until everyone collected their stuff.

Went to deliver the PI invite to Nanyang JC after that, exchanging my two oranges with the receptionist’s pair. Never knew that people get oranges in return after presenting them. So, since it was so conveniently situated from Yangzheng, I decided to just pop by to say hi. And was the last person to do so. I think they were camwhoring outside the school gate? Ms Foong was the only teacher there – and probably the only teacher who’d barely recognise any of us anytime. She seems to keep mistaking me as 2 years older than I really am, since for the past year during the Teacher’s day visit I was talking to her about JC and stuff.

I would hereby like to express my heartfelt gratitude to my kind Yangzheng batchmates who decided to pangseh me halfway. I know I came last, but that’s no reason to scoot off for lunch at the expense of a single individual’s vested interest. Managed to catch up with them, customarily, at the Serangoon Central Macs. Had some brief but invigorating banter with the Hwachong people though – usually they don’t turn up as a whole, but it’s good to see that they’re coming more often. Aaron was somewhat interested in the RA system. Chun Keet, Sung Ming, Ying Shiang, Fiona, Charlene, Jia Yin and I went to her house, where they had much more fun in the hours after I left.

I haven’t experienced a great big jam for years, and it was quite unusual that this year’s 除夕 clogged up Second Link. Usually because of its cost Second Link would be disfavoured and thus be car-free, versus the entirely FOC Causeway, but we were stuck on the road for about 3 hours before getting to Senai, when it’d have taken less than an hour.

I may have witnessed the first real break with tradition with this year’s CNY celebrations on my father’s side. I used to be so enthused with going to Malaysia for CNY on the prospect of setting off firecrackers and whatnot; the weird steamboat or lei cha that 阿妈 made that I would eat little of; running around, playing with my cousins, four of whom are in my year; watching the Mediacorp countdown (how on earth was I interested in that I don’t know); receiving 财神 from 10pm to 2am. And countless other things.

There were much fewer people this year though. Quite a bit of ponning here and there. And I think firecrackers got banned – apparently neighbours can report each other to the police now. So few went to 接财神 and pray with 阿妈. I’ve started to like eating the organic/vegan lei cha since two years ago. Most of my cousins seem to now prefer keeping to themselves – since playing com and external whatnot now has a higher importance nowadays. Not to mention the scourge of homework – but luckily there’s somewhat less this year. 大姑 finally came this year, though not without some awkwardness even I myself am not clear about.

I don’t know if we’re losing tradition only for now, as the young generation goes through this transitional phase into adulthood and beyond. We’re still quite conservative, doing the various Hakka rituals that are mostly kept alive by 阿妈 and 大伯. Isn’t it nauseating to see that most of the Singaporeans I know, of my age, seem to only concern themselves with the Xbox/com playing and angpao collecting, rather than the mingling with family members. I never thought that would invade my paternal side of matters though.

And x years down the road, when 阿公 or 阿妈 ahem, when people start getting married off, married in, do we still have the fibre to remain united as a family?

Nevertheless, the good still remains: we get fed 24 hours a day, and we’re starting to see new people coming in. We aren’t exactly close in terms of “wow, let’s play mahjong!” but more of the chatty and lazy kinds of people, preferring to, ahem, gossip about various commonalities. 大伯, 二伯, 阿公 and 阿妈 also revealed many juicy stories about the past by reference to a few photo albums. Which was particularly encouraging, in that there was actually some interesting epic touch to our family’s history. Oral history for the win! I’m really considering writing a family biography or filming some documentary in time to come.

Came back to Singapore on 初二 in the afternoon. Had RLC meeting, of all days, on 初三 at that perpetually windy SR block foyer – and as expected, was quite haha. Visited 大姨婆 in Jurong after that, then went to my mum’s friend’s place for her graduate friends’ gathering. And jogged there with uncles Eng King and Phillip.

Dinner was at the maternal side, done buffet-style in 大舅母’s spanking old Kentview apartment, since they’re tearing down the West Coast house. Admittedly it’s quite cramped now, and she’d probably take another month or two to clear out the ridiculous number of things in there, but this year’s get-together was much, much warmer than before. Limited space = closer family. A lot of people seem to think that I’ve grown a lot. Somehow or another we managed to reach home by 12.45am.

At the end of everything, CNY remains and will continue to be the best litmus test for family closeness. Forget the far-fetched traditions – the reason why they don’t persist in Singapore is because they don’t serve any purpose in our context. So long as the family remains intact – I’m content.

Ushering in more than just a new year

2008-02-03T00:27:00.000+08:00

Whenever there is a lapse of more than seven days in between each post on this forsaken blog of mine, it’s pretty much obvious that I’m no longer free anymore. I might even have to stop blogging altogether, and come to grips with the sad, sad truth that I can’t possibly expect to fulfil all my resolutions (cue previous post) while pandering to something so mundane and time-wasting as blogging – and blogsurfing for that matter.

Anyway, for much of last week I realised that I was solely focusing on finishing the Budget essay. And when I mean focusing, it doesn’t exactly equate to 100 percent effort, research, brainpower and time expended to clear the task beset on me. Rather, as per the usual custom with any piece of work, I waste time tinkering about on the Internet, wasting time on Wikipedia and Youtube. I mean, what Kieran quipped at the Lit RA induction for the incoming Sec 3s (“Who actually does the piece of work immediately on receiving it?”) is the golden rule for all Rafflesians. So I actually ended up sending in the essay two whole hours late, because I conveniently decided to chiong it at school and come back home to summarise it. What genius. Really lucky that I even managed to scrape a reply from the person in charge…otherwise it’d have been a wasted night and afternoon trying to rush 2149 words out.

We watched another monumental film this week – that is, under the auspices of comedic literature, as opposed to the irrational whims of four random people to watch a rather time-wasting and physically exhausting Cloverfield. To Be or not To Be, regarded either by Ms Kuang or some unknown authority on films as among the top 50 comedies of all time, is this vintage/classic/black and white criticism of WWII and Hitler masquerading a ridiculously funny comedy. The plot is incredibly immaculate, so much so that I don’t even have a pristine view, in totality of what happened. But basically it’s about this troupe of Polish actors who attempt to stage a realistic drama of Nazi Germany, and are dragged into the actual war itself, when the Germans do invade Poland. The actors perform a ludicrously high-level standard of espionage, what with the lead actor (as in the drama troupe in the film) killing and assuming the role of a German spy. The cleverness about this film is that every single plot twist in the film has a logical, though somewhat unexpected/uncanny/ridiculous explanation fitting in with something that may have been overlooked earlier in the film. A seemingly unimportant detail, such as having extra fake beards for disguise purposes, is brought to prominence when we see the lead characters descending time and again into trouble. And because of these explainable coincidences, they manage to salvage themselves and achieve a positive resolution.

Had to come back on staff training day last Wednesday, first for RLC (now a “community” – personally it suits us better) meeting in which we tried in vain to decide on either Aaron or Faizal to be the head. Dennis was elected instead. Went for 欢欣 practice at 2, for which I was the only zhongruan, then had a pretty straightforward meeting with PI souvenirs comm and the exco. We’re coming up with a clay tablet with a heart-shaped imprint – and speaking of which, the theme this year is Jump! Leave your heartprint. Evidently this is lacking in terms of unity, and I honestly have no idea how original this is going to go down with the intra- and inter-school population.

Arts at the Atrium on Friday was terrible. Movement of instruments on Thursday was quite screwed to start with, since all the instruments were stuck at the entrance to the RIGE room before the keys arrived. But more importantly, our standards are really disgusting nowadays. Sec 4 consensus is that it’s been the worst performance in the entire 4 years we’ve been in RICO, and though Ms Lim hasn’t showed up to say anything about it, I don’t think she’ll face much trouble to find out our flaws. In fact she never does. Anyway the music was badly orchestrated, since there were many parts in Chuan Deng that became tuo jie (i.e. different instruments playing different things at different times), producing disaster. We also had the usual misfortune of utterly bad acoustics in an open space like the Atrium, where all sound goes everywhere except any human being’s ears (including ours). Worst of all, as Ren Yan and Ben Aw would quite plausibly put it, our commitment level is seriously in jeopardy. 20-plus people turned up for the hall rehearsal, and only 10-15 remained to clear a humongous load of instruments amid the rain. I seriously hope we stoop no lower.

I arguably had my first taste of public exposure to the Sec 1 batch this year for the Merit CCA trail on Friday afternoon. We started off quite late, since most PSLs thought we were only supposed to start at 2.15, when we should have assembled what, half an hour earlier? The whole thing, anyway, was quite average, except for the fact that certain unnamed CCAs had irregular running times – and inevitably caused some commotion and congestion for some classes. I spent the entire afternoon troubleshooting four floors on the Raja block and occasionally going to HML and the design centre. Couldn’t really stand straight on the bus journey home. But what I gathered most about this experience was really a doubt that I suddenly came to harbour – that whether I’m that cut out to front events, be they on any scale. Because for reasons too myriad to elucidate, I don’t particularly seem gifted in running things on the macro scale; from a simple history presentation to addressing the entire cohort, I seem to lack the ability to show to others my self-confidence and keenness to keep order.

CNY’s coming really soon. But where’s the sense of festivity now? I never feel exactly enthused about any public holiday, however secular they may be – all except CNY. It’s always strangely been more of a real new year to me than 1 Jan. And of course, not forgetting the barrage of tests, TAs, assignments, and so on in the weeks to come, as clearly documented in arguably the most depressing document the school gives out each year: the assessment policy and curriculum. And it's started already - since last Friday.

Let’s hope I survive 18 CCTs.

Peculiarities of the day

2008-01-22T22:36:00.000+08:00

For all the hype surrounding it, I actually went to watch Cloverfield. A totally random decision, with Justin (who was totally mesmerized with it), Douglas and Vince. I know it seems strangely odd and unsettling to catch a movie on a regular school day, but I figured that there’s really no more time in sight before the real work starts. But we all know such things are more than likely to turn out as a complete waste of time. But of course.

The fact that I decided to write about the movie first thing right after it kind of reveals how deeply affective it was. Whether or not it’s good is subjective, but Cloverfield is in no way (except the opening and closing credits – it’s quite standard even with the top-secret US government insignia recorded over it) a conventional film. For a start it’s not even something I’d want to watch a second time. Partly because of the authenticity of filming, since it was entirely recorded with a handheld camera, with shaky hands and all, but mostly because of the psychological themes it presents the audience with. It’s a horror film that conveys the gore and violence – cleverly without the actual depiction of it all. The genius of the movie is that it realizes that one’s worst horror lies in one’s own imagination. There’s no need to depict anything at all. It immediately appeals to the “what if” we have in our minds. Watching it again would destroy the suspense about it, without the expectations that made it so thrilling. Not to mention as well that the experience of watching the film was, for the first time of my life, exhausting. The pace was extremely fast, and the overall shakiness of the film really tired me out.

First, you have the viral marketing, creating the hype surrounding it. The less people know, the more they want to know it – be it something satisfactory or not. The apparent secrecy of the film provides something inexplicably enticing about it. But more importantly, to me, was that right at the end of the film, no one in the cinema (not that there were a lot of people anyway) started to murmur to one another. It was complete silence. The real, extenuating effect of the film would be purely the stark realism of the handling of even such an unreal experience. Total surrealism. One begins to wonder about very real concerns like imminent death, potential for anything and everything to happen at random, at any juncture. The peculiar thing about the movie, though, is the irrationality of the areas not concerning the overall response of a fallen city to a monster attack. The military would never allow any saved civilians to venture out into the open. The emotional catharsis of the audience, I’d have to say, was stronger than the one-dimensional characters portrayed, given the predicament of having close ones die suddenly. Pulling out a stabbed person from the thing poking him/her would be disastrous – hardly anyone would survive that. And the last scene, though poetic (and according to Wikipedia contributed to showing the reason for the existence of the monster in the first place), would have been totally off-key with the pseudo-realism of the film.

In essence, Cloverfield might be considered a full tragedy, involving themes of fatalism and utter futility – with a tragic hero (Rob), his harmartia being believing that he could save his loved one, and ultimately ending in failure to survive with the bombing of the city.

Prior to the utterly irrational decision to watch Cloverfield, there was house meeting and an introductory talk to the humanities programme in RJ. I think Aaron and exco did quite okay for the meeting, except that Sec 4 turnout for Buckley was pathetic. I don’t know how many didn’t bother to turn up, but today’s total number definitely didn’t look like 300-plus. I’m not in House exco, but It’s quite normal to not want to feel so down-and-out, especially and potentially for four years in a row. Gunning to go for Drama Feste, debates and 1.5km run (this is no joke).

After a whirlwind meeting to reflect on Raffles Trail, thereby causing me to miss the one on RLC, went for the briefing by the two RJC Lit teachers. Who were both expats, but having taught for 17 years at least, I don’t think they’re in any way unacquainted with Singaporean culture. Anyway they did an introduction of Lit at RJC, did poetry readings and then basically talked about the stark realities of applying for the humanities programme. It was quite engaging I suppose, what with Brit humour imbued in their talk. But the decision remains soberingly serious.

In flux

2008-01-20T20:40:00.000+08:00

21 January I hereby announce the revival of music. Simply uplifting.

The past week was quite sobering, in that one may experience the sensation of finally heading in some definite sense of direction. Work hasn’t piled up yet, although I might say we’ve been thoroughly well-informed of what to expect, what with advance deadlines for the philo assignment, SS documentary, ERP and countless whatnot. And so I desperately want to finish things as promptly as possible – to avoid the dystopian future of homework avalanche. The teachers are starting to give out pep talks – from all subjects – regarding the importance of GPA, especially for this year, with regard to expectations from the JC next door. I’m still feeling lazy from a lack of urgency now, though.

It’s sad that I inexplicably have to write and rewrite bits and piece of this post. I don’t want to go into all that rabble about my inhibitive style of writing, but I guess this also reflects how I think and organize my thoughts. I think I’ve constantly been lacking a firm sense of drive to finish off things that I have in my mind, contributing to a kind of lack of self-confidence. It’s not just how I express myself – but also the way in which I interact and convey myself to others.

Earlier this week we met the new tanbo instructor for the first time. Not for Chun Yin or me at least, since Mr Seetoh’s his own private instructor, and I kind of saw Mr Seetoh during SYF and one of the random CO concerts last year. Oh yes, and the reason why we’re getting a new instructor is pretty much obscure, since Mr Ling never gave any prior indication (apparently his work permit expired?) the last time we saw him. Nonetheless, Mr Seetoh is quite an affable person to talk to. Discounting the fact that practically all instructors have the innate ability to ask leading questions and suan people – Mr Seetoh in a rather subtle fashion in contrast to how Mr Ling was previously. Our showing, in return, was quite bad though. There were only, what, four people who turned up on time for our first face-to-face with a brand new instructor – and we basically spent half an hour dawdling about until four or so before everyone came streaming. Not a good sign. But he seemed quite understanding of our situation (he claims to have “spoken” to Mr Ling) and didn’t actually react much to it. And we have to perform 划船 yet again, and take part in the end-of-year centralised grading. Yay. Says a lot about his expectations of us.

Lit RA welcome party was quite a subdued affair. Everything except food was done ad hoc. We gave the incoming Sec 3s bitter fruit right from the start, a medley of cautionary fables about the perils of Lit RA, while providing some areas of mild joy to them. The self-introduction part was particularly interesting – some archetypes of the different types of Lit students are manifest in this year’s class. After which we had the buffet spread, which I think we fully sponsored (with discounts from Daniel’s blood relations).

Board meeting on Thursday, then SLO meeting on Saturday. Or should I say RLC – for Raffles Leaders Council. The name doesn’t matter, anyway, since it’s meant to complement the 185 anniversary celebrations in RI as an umbrella group of student leaders in RI. Most people actually don’t really have much understanding of what it’s all about. Much less faith to the concept and all, because of what it might turn out to be. Hopefully something meaningful will turn out of it.

I’m sounding strangely pedantic at the moment. Maybe it’s the stress of trying to write an entry for the Budget essay competition.

It’s hard trying to discipline yourself to just sit down, look at a blank Word screen diametrically opposite of you and allow the drifting thoughts consolidate themselves. Because they don’t do so at will for such things – the most pensive moments in my entire life are spent on bus journeys, in the bath or in the bed. All by myself. Particularly so for this year. Why is it that we only see the need to set some direction for anything that comes across as the last chance? Isn’t it more prudent – and logical at the same time – to think about all these things right from the start? About whether I’ve put in my 100 percent to get as much out of all the opportunities, pushed myself to cherish things I’ve long since taken for granted in RI. Has all the time spent been worth it after all?

Thing is, we don’t know what’s valuable until they’re lost, or at least close to diminishing once and for all in the entirety of our lives. Especially at this point in time, RI life is conceivably going to end forever by the end of this year, much like how I felt prior to P6, except that it’s so much more acute to experience it over again.

Very obviously, the point I’m trying to drive at for this year is really to not let everything meaningful slip by without notice. Yet there’s a need to prioritise and focus on the important things in life, of course. All the things that we want to get satisfaction out of – harshly contrasted by the restrictions of RP. Which we paradoxically need – or should I say want – to satisfy that egocentric maniac within each and every single one of us. We look up to the fabled legacies of our predecessors, and realise that that – the legacy of having done something wondrous – is what is at the centre of all this high-flying blather about putting in one’s 100 percent. Do we really want to achieve all that for the school, or for ourselves?

Back from all that philosophical haranguing, however, here’s some of the basic resolutions before I forget them and only regret some time in September.

Academically, there’s a lot of room for improvement. More so because I’m deeply considering the humanities programme in RJ, and that means at least 3.6 GPA. To really have the whole cake though, I’m aiming 3.8, which means a really concerted effort to buck up on maths and the sciences. While not discounting on my work in lit and history.
RICO yearbook – something to be done before the 185 concert in August that I had in mind since, what, Sec 2? The 20th anniversary of RICO’s establishment was something that went by very, very quietly.
Reassert the position of RICO as a CCA to be proud of
Pass the graded exam for zhongruan at the end of the year
I want to act, sing, write, do whatever for Drama Feste! Initially I went for the Raffles Players auditions, in which I was offered a chat about my other pressing commitments above all.
Score A1 for the HCL O-levels
Sustain the SLO/RLC as something meaningful
Have Buckley get out of fifth position at least
Take part in more competitions for the humanities and for lit
Ensure that 1M is the best class yet for the class of 2011
Pursue RMUN
Go for more YZ gatherings
Perfect RWO
Pursue the HSSRP proposal independently
Breathe more life into 4LMIGHTY
Something meaningful

There’s hard work ahead.

Faster than expected

2008-01-14T01:37:00.000+08:00

It’s the 14th today, considering that I’m yet again typing a post around midnight, as per usual. Orientation’s over, and so is JRIC. And it is once again customary of myself to miss out on promptly thinking about things. To tell the truth I’m getting more and more easily tired out (and literally sickened – fever right after JRIC), with the way things are moving nowadays. Not to mention that as of today, school hasn’t actually started yet. The momentum hasn’t been reached yet, and from the looks of what various subjects have loaded us with (cue content outline sheet), there’s going to be a whole lot of work to be done for the whole year. Especially in terms of achieving the legendary balancing act between school and schoolwork and non-school areas.

On the orientation, however, I’m really having mixed feelings about what’s to come of this oxymoronic bunch of 13 year olds coming in. I was actually feeling many repeated waves of ups and downs as the orientation programme (counting from day one) progressed. I’m beginning to entertain the notion that the average mental age of these prepubescent Sec 1s are not quite up to expectations. It’s owing to pure luck that my class wasn’t privy to some of the more profane tendencies in other classes. Some other classes’ students had the audacity to rattle off expletives like nobody’s business; and not to mention direct verbal abuse of a couple of unfortunate PSLs. I’m seriously doubting whether we were so liberal in language use three years ago. And there’s the constant discipline issue as well – mostly concerning noise level and committing to doing things together as an entire cohort.

Of course, everyone was tired out as well. Most of the PSLs had a grand total of six hours of sleep over three days. Nonetheless, most of the Sec 1s were really enthusiastic about taking part in the activities, and if there was any opposition, it was only those who chose to sit out from the activities. It is actually quite interesting to see how group dynamics work in a group of people who’ve hardly known each other at all – mainly dominated by the four or six people who keep class order and contribute and volunteer most of the time. Then there’s the other three to five who consistently distract themselves and keep out of everything, choosing to only respond when called upon; and there’s the remainder which mostly responds enthusiastically, with some who grudgingly do so for the sake of getting things over and done with.

For most of the camp, I basically followed 1M around, being class-based and all. All-round class spirit is constantly propped up, and their organization and cheers really rock. They reek of originality and wit.

Instead of one, 1M had two cheers to boast of:

Hey, don’t be a fool, everyone thinks we’re number two. But we are number one – 1M!

Early morning, late at night, we will all go out to fight. You will lose the war, we will win the war, you will mop the floor (repeat once) Go…1M!

The fact is, most of the camp has and always will be mired deeply in tradition. The objective, while being that of orientating these incoming 12 year olds, is also to dunk them into the pool of whatever’s been part and parcel of becoming a Rafflesian. No one can claim to have understood our idiosyncrasies without first at least knowing what happened during the orientation camp, better yet, experienced it fully as a batch. There’s been Fright Night (which wasn’t in the least frightful), which was something new, of course. The issue of taking away corporal punishment, while being contentious, remains a solid fact, a milestone of our changing times. Really, every batch has their potential, and I’m confident that this time round there’s a lot out there for the Sec 1s to aim for. In the span of three years, they’ve come to mature much earlier than we did (not in an entirely puritanical sense), although not all in the positive way as would have been desirable. But I guess the kind of dissenting spirit in them ought to be celebrated as well – it shows that they aren’t totally apathetic to the message that we’re trying to get across. That in a certain inverted fashion – they can and may well care about their stake in the school as well, instead of acting like driftwood.

Time, and PSGM, should tell how things are going to turn out. Things are actually going quite well, I suppose, for a week after orientation proper. Following auto-roll call during the camp, they have progressed to taking it upon themselves to organizing events (Charles’ birthday, this time in particular), and it’s really heartening to see how everyone’s enjoying and learning so much. We had a surprise party all run for Charles on Friday, before JRIC, and had the first PSGM session with 1M. Then my sore throat evolved into a full-fledged fever by the time we assembled in the auditorium to tie ties. Went on with everything though, since JRIC ended at around 7.30pm.

Post-JRIC was really the big thing for that day, since we had a cheering spree when the Sec 1s started Raffles Jam and bombing the PSLs (and Shanzhi in particular, in usual fashion); then Jing Yuan did his full-fledged, freestyle dance moves that awed parents who were streaming out of the hall halfway after the ceremony. While Justin had his own personal agenda to fulfil.

Not forgetting the JRIC video as well. I would be obnoxious not to assume that this is everywhere by now, but still, Nigel and team do it best -

And the cycle is just going to repeat itself all over again, for better or worse.

For better.

Addendum And speaking of new starts, I haven't thought about what constitutes a meaningful year ahead. Much less what I want to achieve/get/pursue. So much for showing a good example.

Belatedly

2008-01-13T00:18:00.001+08:00

Quite a lot has just passed by, if not flashed by in the past two weeks or so. Nominally chunks of two weeks aren’t that meaningful to come by, but in light of all that’s changed around me, and within myself as well, it’s really quite a pity that things have to move on so fast. That the knowledge that these idyllic two weeks have well and truly approached an end, and whether whatever’s that been set out, established in these formative weeks will come true at the end of it all. There’s so much happening like clockwork in RI nowadays that it’s really difficult to catch hold and really make meaning out of the new things that are blossoming without warning.

I’ve come to detest doing backdated posts, because firstly the memories I’d have wanted to preserve are by far less vivid and secondly, it’s a chore to shore up so much that’s happened. Of course, these can be attributable to two main reasons – usually the lack of inspiration (and constant presence of other distractions) and my overwhelming preoccupations with school stuff.

The China trip to Jiangnan, as briefly as I can put it, included the most travelling by road to date. And not to mention countless sales pitches leaping out from every corner of the street as well. Touching down in Shanghai on 19th Dec, we travelled basically from Shanghai to Suzhou to Nanjing to Wuxi to Hangzhou and then back to Shanghai, traversing 2 provinces and spending an average of 1.5 days in each city. Sightseeing was really quite limited because we really spent more time on the roads than taking in the sights and sounds. Shanghai’s Huangpujiang, Shucheng (this 7-storey mega-bookshop rivalling/owning the one in Xidan in Beijing), monorail; Wuxi’s Sanguocheng (film set for Romance of the Three Kingdoms), Hangzhou’s Xihu and Song Dynasty replica shopping district were especially great.

Oh yes, and something interesting/disturbing. To the experienced traveller (not that I’m one), it isn’t difficult to observe and steer clear of pressure sales companies who tackle the tour groups milling in and around places. This time we managed to sail through a silk factory, a jade factory (quite scary by all accounts), an embroidery factory, a teapot factory, a Longjing green-tea manufacturer, a fengshui outlet (of all places at the Song Qingling memorial site), a Tongrentang outlet, a pearl factory, and not forgetting the most fondly-remembered one, a creepy gemstone factory somewhere. To tell the truth, I can’t even remember offhand if I’ve missed out on any of these commercial ventures we met along the way, but in essence the number doesn’t quite matter, on the realization that it’s the sheer prevalence of these sales groups in a tour. I’d have to say this repeated movement throughout the five cities of encountering/dealing with the sales pitches was the unofficial learning experience brought about by the trip.

The gemstone factory, in particular, was quite suspicious from the start: there were only 2 people whom we saw working on the gemstones in the entire factory at the display centre. And then the salesman taking us was engaging in so much small talk he let slip that he thought we came from Thailand, while prior to that explaining that the so-called boss was a Thai. Supposedly the boss was in town and came in for one of the weirdest conversations I’ve ever encountered. They seemed to know that their cover was somewhat blown, because they never 1) detailed on the gemstones they were selling in the first place 2) said repeatedly that there was absolutely no need to purchase anything and 3) turned off all the lights and let open all doors once we left.

Reality always beckons.

The last note before the next

2007-12-31T23:33:00.000+08:00

It’s the last hour of 2007. It’s been a year of changes. And one of regrets, the realisation of one’s innate limitations. It uplifted me from the social backwater I hailed from. I’m seeing value better today than I did a few hundred days ago. It also humbled me. Time is essentially finite for humanity, despite the eternal truth that physicists proclaim. The passage of one year into the next is but that transient moment in time and space.

I desperately yearn to conquer that fatalism. Make as much out of all that life provides as possible.

And a happy new year to all.

Meanwhile

2007-12-29T01:35:00.000+08:00

In order to satiate the few individuals who have complained of my tardiness when it comes to blog updates, I hereby state that it is entirely impossible, in consideration of realistic constraints and of lack of that sudden, mythical, magical enthusiasm to blog meaningfully, for me to churn out something I would very much like to, owing to a weeklong, draining trip to Jiangnan, RIPB camp, Student Leaders’ meeting, PSL meetings, RIPB farewell in a continuous string of ten days.

Hence, with my customary tardiness, a long overdue content filler that will allow the average reader to understand or confuse oneself with regard to my character is as follows:

Credits: Shanzhi, who selected me, a random person.

1. Do the following without any complaints.
2. Choose 5 people to do this after you complete yours.
3. Leave a tag on the person's tagboard saying he/she has been tagged.
4. Alternatively, IM the person on MSN/AOL/windows live/whatever.
5. Start your post with: I have been tagged!

(Requirements 3-5: with which I have not and will not comply)

Favourites
Colour: Green; shamrock or Irish green are best.
Food: Cantonese cuisine, like 三捞河粉; I love eggs.
Movie: Stranger than Fiction.
Sport: Most of the time, N/A, but if forced to make choice, jogging or badminton.
Day: Of the seven-day week, Friday; if not, Chinese New Year 除夕.
Season: Winter, and in Singapore, dry season.
Ice-cream: Cookies and cream.

Current
Mood: Bland. Mildly idealistic despite the persistence of uncertainty forwarded in all directions. Can laugh at jokes and self though.
Clothes: An inherited Calvary B-P Church 1992 Junior Worship camp shirt (not reflective of my religious persuasion), green shorts and the usual stuff underneath them.
Desktop: Compaq Presario.
Time: 0111 hours (GMT+8), and it’s borrowed most of the time. One might say vulcanised to achieve rubber time effect.
Surrounding: Living room-cum-study area, messy.
Annoyance: My sister trying to kope the computer.

Firsts
Best Friend: it was Warren in P3-early P5. Now it’s everybody, I hope.
Movie: Jurassic Park number one.
Crush: Incongruent with my personal style, but I did have one.
Lie: Forging my dad’s signature for 听写.
Music: CO! And also Mandopop.

Lasts
Drink: Prune juice from the fridge. It is a known laxative.
Car Ride: This morning, around 0745 to 0805 hours.
Crush: The same one.
Played: 东风破by Jay Chou.

Have You Ever
Dated one of your best friends: Relatively speaking, I think not.
Broken the law: Yes, but perhaps without foreknowledge.
Been arrested: By lack of time. And proper time management.
Been on TV: 仁心慈爱照万千2006 performance with RICO on TV, and supporter for Arena.
Kissed someone you don't know: Kissed something I don’t know, yes.

Randoms
5 things you are good at: Impromptu documentary speeches, worrying and speculating, randomising (note: not randoming – it’s incorrect), changing physical expressions to suit circumstances, being thick-skinned.
4 things you have done today: went for an extended Bishan hike, breaking rules with water bombs on school fields (warning: bad combination for graduating Sec 4s), emptied files, fell asleep twice on the bus.
3 things you hear right now: Cantonese opera mp3 帝女芳魂on the headphones, typing sounds, fans chopping away.

5 people to tag: Considering how long I took to respond to this request (was tagged on 4 December), most of the world should have already done this.

Part II: Chalet and concert

2007-12-18T23:48:00.000+08:00

Before I leave for China and forget everything, I figured this post had to come first.

For the first time in the entire year, I didn’t do very much after returning from the Perth trip. Unlike the post-OIP season (which was comparatively early in the holidays), most of the school meetings were sort of coming to a close towards the end of November. Was I free? Of course, defining freedom has long been a philosophical conundrum – as we shall see in my forthcoming ramblings – but the awesome and imperative power of conventional logic, however, falls painfully short where reality is concerned. As with all that happens in the long and illustrious history of mankind, what more in the life of a puny individual like myself?

Being two weeks prior to the impending RICO concert, practice intensified voluminously, for a start. Due to my long absence from previous weeks of practices, I was temporarily taken out of 划船舞曲 (lit. Rowing Boats – a crude but nonetheless apt English working title that made it into the concert booklet). In which I was later put back with the really imba Jason the following week. There was then a recce at Singapore Conference Hall with some of the concert logistics comm with the two teachers, which inevitably led to an interesting prelude of the financial situation RICO faced. Dined with Gilbert in Lau Pa Sat before MRTing home, while Patrick and Eugene went off to find other sponsors in Bras Basah complex.

I found myself in school practically every day of the week either for practice or for the miscellaneous meeting regarding random school affairs. My 2006 self wouldn’t have savoured in spending so much time in school (as per my parents nowadays), but somehow there seems to be more intrinsic worth from doing things that seemed time-wasting in the past, that now seem having a priceless value of their own. It’s nothing about duty or bowing to the upper echelons. Neither is it about my own personal standing (I daresay I never cultivated one successfully anyway). There’s that knee-jerk thing to be busy; to contribute; to somehow make things progress. Or so I’ve changed. Planning, meeting, sai kang, managing – these aren’t milestones to be surpassed so as to slack at the end. They are stages that are meant to be intrinsically relished in themselves.

While confirming seating plans, movement plans, scheduling and personnel deployment, decided for once not to pon yet another 6G class gathering. Admittedly this was only a half-baked attempt to shrug off schoolwork – had to go for PSL meeting with Mrs Maas (why do I keep typing “mass”) that lagged by two meetings (meaning two hours). Ended up going to the wrong Costa Sands before going into Downtown East. I wonder why two were built in such close proximity in the first place.

Met the gang going for ice-cream while walking in, and put down stuff in the room. Evidently people love going to chalet. The place was close to resembling some mini HDB estate, what with block numbers and winding paths. Basically there was loads of crap talking deep into the night, most of the time deviating into areas of more objectionable content. One of agenda met was educating Jiayin, who apparently is either an immaculate actress or is well and truly a blank sheet of paper when it comes to carnal knowledge. Moor House exco was just round the corner. Most left after 10, leaving Chun Keet, Gabriel, Jaren, Bryan, Fiona, Shumei, Jiayin and myself to one room with four beds. None of us were planning to sleep anyway, so we gossiped and played loads of bridge – having abstained for more than a year I naturally was the worst at it. Went home after daybreak.

Stepped up concert practice for the rest of the week, leading towards the start of this week. 9-5 dazu from Monday to Wednesday is no mean feat, and I daresay my left hand fingertips have hardened for good. It feels like I’m wearing a plaster over my fingers all the time now – and it’s already past four days since the concert. Practice was all the usual fun, with Mr Lim constantly keeping us enthused throughout the songs. He really has a way (perhaps of his youth, I assume) of connecting and befriending us.

Uploading and downloading of instruments (ignore the anomalous use of vocabulary due to lack of a more precise term) was remarkably good, everyone was cooperative and we were on the buses by 8.10, 10 minutes in advance. Stage movement was entirely a different matter. Apparently our dear stagehands (excluding Shaun) were playing bridge backstage and forgot to move chairs out during the matinee. Eventually things ironed themselves out, so kudos to Shaun who managed to pull everything off :D Had to shout myself almost hoarse at the end of everything.

Strangely, much as we’ve practised so much for the concert repertoire, I’ve never felt as invigorated during any of our performances as during rehearsal. Part H of 心贤, for instance, was where I felt moved the most during all our rehearsals – but during the performance itself, it was really hard to recreate the sense of being carried along with the melody into the core of the message each piece related. Nevertheless, the concert was quite well done as a whole – we’ve got good reviews! A brief review of the pieces:

青年进行曲: Relatively good as concert opener, but somehow lacking in spirit for the matinee one. Fully invigorated as the encore piece for evening.
家家乐: Average.
划船舞曲: Matinee was bad. Couldn’t quite start properly, and evening improved loads. 音准was lousy though – someone didn’t tune properly…probably me?
欢欣: Average. Lost my scores in the evening here, before Chun Yin returned it.
莱佛士: Quite good, but the matinee had one 中笙that went ever so slightly off.

The rest (心贤，小城故事，月亮，感怀and激流) were all impeccably done, however; not being really musically trained, I didn’t really know how to assess how well each was done. The singers were great…save for the 传灯singer who perhaps applied the wrong style. All in all, the concert was quite well done – Patrick has a more in-depth understanding of it on his blog. 大伯伯，大伯母and Ah Wei came down to support, along with my dad and sister, and it seemed too much of a memorial service to them, or so they say. Some RI people took a jibe by insulting out loud at the end of the matinee. And the emcees weren’t as well-received as we would’ve liked.

As the first concert in which I seriously took ownership in (instead of just being a passive performer), it was really lucky that we managed to get by with an okayish performance. The least we could do for Mr Yeo, I guess, but the organization and commitment really has much to be improved on. This time round we were blessed to have so many guest performers to help percussion work things out, but as to future performances, it’s really bleak out there (jiayou Patrick!). What’s the point of it then? What’s the point of persisting in something so intangible, so unaccepted by the others? The 2006 Sec 4s (who are so much more imba) tried so hard to reverse the trend – what more can we do? Yes, we have a committed Sec 3 batch this year (mostly speaking), and a number of Sec 2s – but the fact remains that most of the lower sec people are well and truly lost.

Yet it strangely seems that I’m encouraged to put in everything to change things. Even as I’m not in exco…there’s this want – in fact a dire need – to be a part of anything and everything to do with RICO, and really do something about whatever that comes along the way. Like a festering sore that really irks me, and it’s just a natural response to want to get rid of the thing.

It’s crude, but simple. If only more people looked at everything else like that.

Addendum Allow me to offer my thanks to everyone who came down for RICO's concert - my family, Ying Shiang, Andrew, Lincoln. And to those who offered interest but couldn't come as well. Thanks for all the well-wishes! Also to Mr Lim, Mr Chong, Ms Lim, Mr Ling, Chunyin, Renyan, Jeremy, the rest of exco, Shaun Ee, Uncle Jimmy (the tech expert), and all the alumni/RG/RJ people.

(Double post removed for ease of reading - not that it's soothing to read this voluminous chunk of words anyway)

Part I: OIP remnants and Perth

2007-12-18T15:39:00.000+08:00

It’s almost so routine that whenever I feel like blogging, it’s deep in the night when I’m the most pensive; when my thoughts fly all over the place, reviewing, reflecting and sifting the important from the unimportant. And yet after making a mental note of so-and-so that I want to reminisce about in text, all but that genuine sense of wanting to articulate, to release all the emotional muck swimming about in my brain remains. So in addition to my already packed schedule this holidays, I just stone in front of the monitor knowing both about what to write, but hardly ever being able to vomit everything out in instant verbose like what most people can. Maybe it’s been ingrained so deeply in me to edit whatever comes to mind as it translates over into text. So before covering what I’ve been yearning to cover for so long, apologies to the few readers (I have a readership?) who bother to pester me to write. It’s hardly entertaining or even meaningful stuff, but maybe (with a tinge of hope) my writing is appreciated? Not that I usually keep an audience in mind when I blog, though. My habit of blogging on MS Word before copying over to the Blogger window tells a lot.

Some kind souls (thank you Yee Siang and anonymous NTT people) uploaded a whole lot of about three hundred photos on the Internet, so here’s some visual icing to match up with the last post regarding OIP. It’s ages ago since we left Vietnam, but the way things run themselves in life, I’m still really overwhelmed by how productive in terms I was for the past five or six weeks. I covet slacking, but spending my time not just stoning around at home, going out and doing what I usually can’t – that’s what is even more priceless.

The Thursday right after returning from OIP, went back to school for open house 2, spending the afternoon relating a little about OIP. I think we were kind of expecting more parents and children to come round, in Singaporeans’ usual show of kiasuism, to ask all they want. Spent more time sitting around talking instead of leading people around. And so I missed watching Enchanted with the Yangzheng people.

Flew off to Perth that night. Perth, in its entirety, wasn’t as culture shock (price shock only) as compared to Vietnam. Singapore’s slightly bigger than Perth in size and population, and we are after all very much westernised as compared to most other places in Asia. I managed to sleep an hour or two on the night flight. Apparently we arrived the week in which – of all things – flies start coming in from the desert to literally bug people. And they aren’t very fast, despite the heat. Twenty or more flies cling on to the back of a person, for what biological/physiological/tactical reason I don’t know, and dark surfaces (probably because of the heat-trapping nature of it) attract more flies.

We had a brief city tour by the geog doctorate, who seemed somewhat impatient throughout the whole walk. Currie Hall rocks – everyone had one room (albeit small) to himself, but that really restricted us in terms of bonding. Food servings everywhere were humongous, but of course with a veritable price tag attached to everything. The first few days were quite geographically-inclined, starting with the city tour, then visits to the sand dunes, Pinnacle Desert (which looked like some cemetery), Jurien Bay (which was freezing – slightly more rotund people like me felt the least from the water). Rottnest Island on the last day – we did a historiographical introspective into the area here.

Next three days were more of lectures at the UWA campus itself, plus a number of visits to the museums in and around Perth. Evidently there was little historical content to really manoeuvre, as admitted, but history is discernible everywhere, so there was quite a lot of contemporary debate going on about Australia’s role in WWII in the Asian context, aboriginal history and Australia’s national identity. Some may scoff at this, being cooped up indoors and talking with only readings as foundations, but it ended up really fun trying to critique viewpoints like that. Slept a lot on the bus journeys though. The observatory and Karakumia sanctuary were eye-openers, saw a whole sky full of stars unlike in Singapore. And I must download Starry Night someday!

The Perth trip, much as it cost a lot, didn’t really impact me as meaningfully as how Hanoi did. For one, I was missing home and thinking about to-dos in Perth, versus the reluctance I had when I really felt myself leaving Hanoi on board the plane. So there. It’s the people who matter when it comes to associating with time and place. Nature doesn’t provide the linkages well enough to the self. I can see myself wanting to go back and catch up with the NTT people, to have a whiff of the bad air, waltz around amok in the congested traffic, to entertain and be entertained Hanoi-style, to karaoke in the same lounge again (Barbie Girl ftw!).

And be mad. Myself.

Logistics

2007-12-12T02:52:00.000+08:00

Logistical management is a terrible job. Almost sai kang. Nothing more to say.

My grossly belated updates are in the making, whilst I procrastinate till Thursday to complete my ramblings prior to the concert.

My mum says I have rubber time. So I do.

I'm not back yet

2007-11-22T22:10:00.000+08:00

This is somewhat belated, but I’m still reeling from the past two weeks of OIP in Hanoi, Vietnam – and waiting for photos to come in as well. Early in the trip I considered whether to write down a post per day – given my other more interesting preoccupations, this never materialized. Looking at how this post is belated in the first place, I think it’s only logical to attribute this to my pure lack of commitment to what I set out to do. But all that’s set to change. As I’ve hoped before in my gingerbread man reflection during the OIP itself.

Two weeks is an amazingly short period of time in Singapore – and more so when in Hanoi. I guess it’s all relatively speaking, the first week being strangely slow-paced, while after the weekend homestay everything sort of fast-forwarded. Probably because of the duration and the people there and here, we found it really hard to remove ourselves from where we had eased ourselves in. And life goes on. But while life goes on, memories of the time we spent there are like permanent fixtures; the impact is forever. My mind is still on transit back to Singapore from Hanoi. While the impact of the whole trip is undeniable, I know how as things cool off, those wonderful memories will dissipate into nothingness – that I’d forget all those random and quirky moments that came into my two weeks of life in Hanoi. Which is obviously impossible to document fully. A limitation of historiography.

Before I fly off to a week in Perth, I figured reflecting on OIP had to be done first. Or else it’d all be forgotten and gone down the drain. Two wasted weeks.

Instead of the first-person traveller’s narrative I adhere to most of the time, I’m only picking out what struck me the most. The fundamentals of life that I’ve lost track of in pursuit of more, I should say, immediate goals, like academics and the things I used to consider overarchingly important in defining a meaningful school life.

I wasn’t wrong. But the means I perceived of achieving it – like positions and grades and participation levels – and thereby leaving a self-indulgent “legacy” for myself (and successors, for goodness’ sake) is far too shallow. It’s still shallow when we see so many being motivated by scholarships. And I think too many Singaporean students, especially in pressure-cooker environments, have kind of lost sight just as I have. This is the root of all cynicism. Not that it isn’t good, but in recent times the cynicism all around us has simply robbed me of any discernible sense of life and meaning from within me. This is, if any at all, the most disturbing flaw in teenage psychology these days in Singapore, which is taken to mean apathy; depression; and emoness.

Hanoi resuscitated me. What it’s done is something I think has proven to be common among all the OIP groups which have touched down – the Changchun, Hue and Surabaya people have all had their own set of unforgettable memories in their own interactions. The kind of youthful exuberance, craziness and therefore sense of self-confidence the Nguyen Tat Thanh students exuded without considerable restraint, I must say is incomparable to the lethargy RI students exhibit. They make friends so much more easily.

It goes all the way beyond materialistic shows of grandeur and fanfare. It’s the kind of deep emotional engagement that our counterparts offered to us, the genuine keenness to befriend and welcome us. Rafflesians generally stone on the Raffles Square with heads down, ignore whoever sits in classes and hardly actively socialize with these foreign students who come in. It’s an intractable cultural thing that can’t be changed overnight in Singapore; the lamentation that we Rafflesians are morons when it comes to humanizing ourselves in reality. There’s no way to reciprocate what they did for us, honestly.

OIP wasn’t really a service learning trip. It was meant to be one, I thought, but as Marc put it, it seems more for socialization and “courting”, exemplified by the grapes incident. There seemed to be value from the trip more from making the contacts with Vietnamese people than providing services. The SOS village and Green Audit work were just two sideshows that were milestones, but hardly the focus of trip in totality. The song and dance performances and class visits (none of which were proper lessons) were the more, how should I say, distinctive points of common interest that made us interact better.

Now, Shanzhi’s made a list of things to be missed in Hanoi. I didn’t have the, ahem, discipline to commit myself to that, so here’s just a brief overview of what happened. If a picture paints a thousand words, why not the other way round? For one, I don’t have a digital camera, and all the pictures (numbering 1000 and beyond) are with others.

Mainly the Vietnamese mishmash of liberal youth culture amid a more authoritarian backdrop. The cooling weather that got hotter over time, defeated by the suffocating odour of smoke and dust stubbornly hanging around. Food like bun and nem. The hospitality, openness and enthusiasm with which the Nguyen Tat Thanh students welcomed us with. The suaning, the late-night Ambassadors’ series, the heart-to-heart confessions and R&R invariably leading to affairs of the heart we had by the corridor of the three bunks. The listening, the singing of songs. Me singing bass for Beautiful Girls and Lap Chung Minh. Stamping on the ground for Stanford to hear. The team-building games, the TLC teaching. Visiting the night market and central Hanoi. Disrupting classes and spontaneously breaking into song and games.

*List incomplete*

Till the pictures arrive.

Dreary continuations

2007-11-02T23:50:00.000+08:00

Having left off last Monday, I seem to have lost the enthusiasm, or should I say, unrestrained angst to further document the rise and fall of the quantitative indicators of my academic performance, otherwise colloquially known as the destructive and indomitable GPA. Nevertheless, while recent developments have proven otherwise, here’s just a quick wrap-up of academics for this year thus far for keepsake. I fancy commentary, but not reporting.

Lit period was first in the day, and by far among all my papers, the one I feared for the most. So it was quite fortunate that I kind of prepared myself mentally for the kind of marks I had in mind after the Lit paper ended. Apparently I’m pretty good at worst-case scenario handling, and managed to compose myself well enough for the downfall. Got a measly 26/50 (moderated to 28) for the paper – particularly because I yet again didn’t have the darn time management to give a coherent answer for 2(b), on the justification for the titling of Carousel to Lucinda Roy’s poem. Not as if the set text question went well, though; got a 16/25 for that.

History turned out to be tasteless. Tasteless in the sense that my performance was average – 30/40, for which I was grateful and yet resentful. Yet again, being an essay-based test, my longstanding harmartia of time management was triumphant in costing me a more respectable score for the second question.

So it was with much surprise that I received the chem results – a 57/80. Not that it was so exceedingly high or beyond my expectations, but it was evidently sufficient to give me a 3-grade jump to an overall score of 70 for chem. It was a strange, yet undeserved, even guilty moment of elation when I understood how close it was. One mark less, and it would’ve been an un-moderated 69.4%.

With moderation factored in I got 3.33 overall. Nothing great, or entirely meritocratic, but nonetheless reassuring that I had sufficient cushioning; while on the other hand terrorizing. The need for moderation in so many subjects – English, SS, maths, Chinese, and Lit is not a good sign – it basically means that because of incompatibility between the curriculum/EOYs and students’ ability, it’s not a good reflection of students’ abilities and thus moderation is required. Whatever the case, I’m a major beneficiary of moderation.

Went for annual GE Lit Seminar at RGS on the 27th, last Saturday. The talk on theatre studies by Dr Robin Loon was delivered rather interestingly – basically an overview of the humanitarian perspective reflected by the theatrical experience. It was a convincing framing of the subject, but seemed as though he understood that the bulk of the students weren’t quite interested, by his frequent quips on how short the talk was and so the effect of the talk was somewhat subdued. Not that I’d specialize in theatre though, come JC; it still seems more prudent to house it under Lit, which can better encompass a broad-based study of multiple literary media. I wasn’t officially supposed to come for the concurrent sessions, but anyway went to the columnist forum with some ST heavyweight editors, which veered off into a discussion on press freedom in Singapore after some minor banter about journalism as a career. Rather interesting. Also met up with Fiona and Shikaye very briefly.

The highlight was of course the group presentations, for which we presented our parodies again. King Lear was in the hall, and the acoustics rendered it terrible. We almost had to shout to be heard, and the audience numbers weren’t too encouraging. Kristian and I missed a line, and overall it was just an okay run. We went to the black box theatre, catching Souffle and Deader than Fiction. Evidently that was the happening place, what with an overflowing crowd flooding the seats. Souffle was a satire of high Singaporean society, chockfull of sexual innuendo. Deader than Fiction was as per normal, except for the wardrobe changes and replacement of Theo with Geoffrey. And a whole lot of upskirting.

Literally Literary, the official name for Lit RA night, was quite a nerve-wracking experience, and a success at the same time. Acted Gloucester once again, for the very last time probably; mum and dear sister came down to support; and apparently Sung Ming, Shu Mei, Fiona, and Bryan watched our string of performances as well. Ashish was as usual the effervescent host, improvising powerfully with his puns and jokes. And we’ve got rave reviews as well! Photos best elucidate the actual effect of the performance, so

OIP training part 2 and RE Congress emceeing rehearsal on Wednesday. Spent the morning doing icebreakers and discussions for OIP, then moving on to Congress in the afternoon – really quite a waste of time and manpower sitting around doing nothing. The emceeing went quite well on Thursday itself, but the audience decimated in the morning towards the afternoon.

And gah, I can’t stand drifting around anymore.

Another time.

It's either I fail or I don't pass

2007-10-22T21:08:00.001+08:00

As many might say, the order in which the results were shuttled back to us today was (and is still, how unfortunately) going in a downward trend. I was quite nervous the night before, contemplating what would be the outcome of bio, chem, and with shudders and reluctance, maths. And it seems my fears are very much far from unfounded. What with the little revision I managed to cough up before, during and after the DMP period, and tuition sessions, I unabashedly proclaim my utter lack of skill.

English compre and commentary were top off the list; consequently they weren’t really out of the pale. Compre was 14.5/20, commentary 20/25, producing a modest (some might say meagre rather – I would not quite jump to such conclusions!) 34.5/45, or about 76.6% thereabouts. As usual, vocabulary proved to be the culprit, lost all three marks there; nonetheless in all English was quite comforting compared to the rest. Got highest (77.5/100) in class, but then again, compare this to other classes and golden target of 80 (or 4.0) still beckons.

Chinese was a mild uplift, having achieved 77.5%, which I think might possibly the best showing this year for Chinese thus far. Enough said, though it seems ominous that the good news seems to have revealed itself so early.

SS was quite a letdown. Among others I heard half the cohort failed SS, but none seemed to come from 3L. I got 20/30, 11/15 for Q1 and 9/15 for Q2; the latter because I 1) had no time to finish it or rather 2) had no sense of time management to properly articulate my second essay to the finest. The second question about Singapore being a “small man with a big stick” (no pun intended for filthy creatures of the mind) was supposed to be tricky; in addition, Mr Shahrom claims that our paper was harder than the Sec 4s’. Not that I’d agree to it though, since variance in the humanities (or rather essay-based) subjects tend to lend diverse understandings. And because of this poor showing at the EOYs, I got overall 79%. What travesty.

Needless to say, the fall came after recess. I retched at getting what, 60% for bio. The iron lung question was totally inverted (i.e. I answered it the other way round). But I can’t get away with the fault – since I only revised for 2 days (the day before and the 3 hours of circulatory/respiratory systems before the test itself). Was briefly elated when I spotted a calculation error, but got derailed along the way.

Evidently bio was only the harbinger of the doom to befall me in the form of my one and only indomitable, frustrating, obfuscating enemy, yet again living up to age-old traditions.

Maths.

What can I say. It’s the worst subject of all, dating way back since P3 – so I spent the most time revising it. Maths is really full of brainless conventional work, just apply the concepts and theories appropriately and gain mountain loads of practice – and voila! 4.0 double maths. GPA skyrockets.

Fat chance. Work so hard, at the end of the day still only get sai marks one. Of course, the degree to which one defines hard work varies, but it’s still the subject I pinpointed and crafted my revision programme around. As per usual, during the test towards the last 4 questions, I knew failure was coming.

34/80. Nothing to be proud of, but someone’s still got to be realistic about the harsh truths. And at the end of a day, maths greets (or rather snickers at) me with a heavenly 48%, or 1.6 GPA.

Not that all these haven’t happened before, but the spate of such letdowns with such alarming speed is hardly comforting a thought. I might have already gotten used to such sai marks.

Came home calculating marks, read Deathly Hallows and halfway through went back to thinking about marks again. I might just drop below 3.0 for overall GPA. And if Sec 3 work is taken into account for admission to RJC by the time 2009 comes round, it could be goodbye to a future in the humanities that I’ve always looked forward to.

I seriously never thought a life-changing decision could be brought down to such an early stage with the might of the Raffles Programme.

OIP

2007-10-17T00:28:00.001+08:00

Spent the entire day, nine hours to be exact, in school from 8.15 till 5 for the OIP training. I was rather befuddled at the prospect of wearing PE attire for this, though I hardly expected much of an interesting experience. Turns out to be sitting in the freezing hall for the morning, giving PC answers to rehashed fundamental questions about leadership, direction and whatnot. Stoned around, aimlessly floating about the vicinity trying to kill time. And by a sudden turn of events, volunteered to be deputy for the Hanoi group.

Somehow I (probably like many others) don’t really take to the idea of leadership trainings in this sense. Being OIP service learning and all, the kind of experience that today’s training gave me is hardly going to be of much use. It’s overly centralized. Much too sweeping to lend relevance to the specific conditions we’re going to face. I guess this’d be what may be considered armchair leadership. Albeit the fact that we didn’t get to sit on comfy armchairs today, sitting with itchy and aching butts for the better part of the day. We’d be much better off having decentralized icebreakers and meetings on our own initiative, really.

Still, there’s no way of knowing what lies in store for us in OIP. It’s an unprecedented move by the school to do something like that (and cough up subsidies along the way). All I know that is if we aren’t cooperative, we’re doomed. I’m looking forward to triple of such experiences on Thursday and Friday, since the postponed TLC workshop got shelved to these two days. Wonderful. And one more time on the 31st.

Irreversible revamps

2007-10-15T20:52:00.000+08:00

A reversion of the blogskin heralds a change in attitude, stymieing an otherwise incongruent set of beliefs that would have been amplified with the outlook of the previous version of my blog. I’ve found difficulty in keeping in with the historiographical overtones of the previous version, and Plato’s thymos is really what I believe best encapsulates my state of affairs at the moment: the pursuit of recognition; the pursuit of meaningfulness in life. Of course it is by no means the only objective in life, to blindly go on a journey of meeting goals and targets solely. It is the journey that matters after all – the companionship, the decisions made, the values, deeds, consequences –

But the issue is in how far can we accept ourselves to ascribe what is sufficient. And can humanity really be so simplified to such an extent? Mere desire for recognition at the end of the day?

Examine the writing above. It’s precisely this kind of logorrhoea that I’m particularly reviled against. The problem with me in attempting to do creative writing of any sort is that I always launch myself into some rambling diatribe that intensely throws off the veneer of sincerity that ennobles a good piece of writing. Overly academic, that’s what the Stanford instructor and a good number of teachers have come to comment when it comes to writing. I think this has to do with my character, though. Cannot stand a sentence without a comma; or a semicolon for that matter. A good sentence equals one chockfull with complex structures and otherwise incomprehensible semantics.

I’m beginning to see it as a disease. An affliction of the wordsmith within myself.

How painfully self-delusional. And unknowing of the harsh realities of the day. Doesn’t really matter if no one understands it.

Anyway, devoted past few days to accomplishing nothing. I found myself lethargic as soon as the last paper was over. A roundabout cycle of eating and sleeping with little target in sight. Lazed around watching TV, playing com, reading, cooped up inside the house.

For the first time in umpteen weeks, however, it’s a triumph and a pity at the same time that I only came to realise how much I’ve neglected my family. As I said I devoted myself to accomplishing nothing.

But it’s the simple affair of having a meal together that really woke me up to the ways in which I’ve been shortchanged. Because of work. Because of that selfish thymotic pride that really just engulfed me for the better part of the year. Every weekend, for this year and beginning towards the end of the last, I’d hardly ever go out with my parents and sister. If I ever did, it was always of grave importance that I cap any outing at three hours or less. Then two or less.

If there is any cost of being a Singaporean student, it’d have to be this. In return for tangible results and deluded self-gratification of voluminous contribution to the school, I’ve already given up many areas of the intangible – family, friends, interests – and a part of the idealistic youth I once had two years or more ago.

Back and here we go all over again

2007-10-12T00:29:00.000+08:00

With Lit over and done with, the EOYs grumble to an end. And it’s back to the real world immediately; I have a philo essay due, errands here and there to manage, upcoming RICO concert to prepare, and all sorts of work that got clogged up way before the DMP season now loosens and before long I’m going to be stuck deep in work again. The true mark of a no-lifer.

The papers were considerably okay, taking into account that I didn’t really revise too extensively for any of them. English compre and commentary, Chinese, History and SS hardly took up much time to gloss over before going on to the more substantive subjects (which I coincidentally am not proficient in). The chem paper turned out fine, only problematic part was the last section, as opposed to if redox and volumetric analysis came out instead. Bio was reasonable I guess, only the life sciences and heredity bits were off-tangent – but maths was bad.

No other word can accurately encapsulate my feelings, not just to the paper itself but my attitude towards the subject really. Ironically I put in the most time for it, what with tuition during the September hols and precedence I placed on maths above the rest (considering its double weightage and my consistent lack of performance in it). Well. Apart from bad time management and misplacing emphasis on various topics, it doesn’t bode well. Nothing more to say.

And Lit. Well. The set text question was easy enough, but I half-panicked along the way and overspent time on it. Leaving me with a lacklustre unseen poetry analysis. Possible casualty of 10 marks or more.

Well. All is not too well really. The EOYs seem to leave me empty more than leaving me overjoyed for some reason or other. Not that I love taking exams, but there’s no longer anything in sight that demands my attention. A state of emptiness, that there’s nothing really worth being happy about with the passage of an entire year of highs and lows. An absence of catharsis for the common man.

I’m losing it.

A personal response to some questions posed on the role of RIPB

2007-09-27T20:56:00.000+08:00

Disclaimer: I may inadvertently offend some with my choice of vocabulary, so do be forewarned. I don’t mean to insult, offend or discriminate against any individuals or groups here. All is in the name of debate. Note that all opinions reflected here are personal, and in no way represent the collective opinion of RIPB. Feel free to shoot the ideas espoused here.

The world may assume that from my point of view and my being part of the RIPB, I would necessarily be slanted towards a do-till-death support for the RIPB. However, I say that is not true, and everyone’s views do indeed matter. Let’s face the truth: generations change, and there's no such thing as rule of law that's being rigidly adhered to, that discipline is no longer the only role of the RIPB. I acknowledge that there seems to be some apparent erosion of the functionality and relevance of the RIPB, as a result of this.

But there are areas of contention, and certain misinformation that I would be very much be inclined to clarify, so that there can be some light of truth shed over the entire matter. And I do not intend to put down anyone’s ideas – most of which I truly concede to.

First off, I must say I was very much engaged by how saliently Ben Yap and Jon Shin have reviewed the entire role of RIPB. Putting aside what was being thrown up at the Sec 3 forum on Tuesday though, let me go to one arm of the RIPB: event organisation.

On organising school events
The RIPB has traditionally organised most school-based events that are not either formal enough or as all-encompassing as other events, like Year Head assemblies or HM assemblies or Prometheum Day. However, because the previous batch’s (2006) RIPB exco observed that there are indeed a significant portion of the student population who feel left out from having a say or two on how these events are run, so orgcomms (organisational committees) were sort of opened up for students to take part in the organising of these activities and events.

I have to clarify that this doesn’t mean that RIPB abdicates all responsibility for these events; a number of prefects (about 5 or so) are the active facilitators for students to contribute, in ways like holding meetings, setting proposals and so on, providing the main framework for students to contribute, although depending on the student participants’ wishes, the students may wish to take charge themselves. So it’s really not like all events are entirely taken on by students without RIPB’s participation.

As for certain events like National Day and Racial Harmony Day, the school decided to delegate these events to RE groups; this would be in line with the RIPB’s goal to allow students to have an active role in organising these activities of their own accord. And for interclass soccer, note that this has been done in a class-by-class basis, so naturally all events that require a class-based organisation is taken up by the CEC, rather than RIPB. After all, that is what the CEC – class executive council – is meant for, to organise and regulate interclass activities.

On maintaining discipline
It is true that we as prefects are at times reduced to using booking as a form of disincentive, and without censure or check on our rights to do so. And that using bookings do not actually amount to exacting discipline and the like. These are common gripes that we’ve had to deal with, being tasked to enforce discipline.

I admit that prefects don’t exactly instil discipline in students by booking, but looking at in comparison with other methods, it is the most efficient way of ensuring order among the general student population that has no physical, immoral harm on the offender and yet has a psychological deterrent to the student. Because the thing about bookings, which people overlook, is that at the end of Sec 4 all these demerit points are taken into account, and stay with you forever. The online system clears itself every semester, but a general record is retained throughout.

A list of all the possible offences here; our own morality is enough to discern what’s right and what’s wrong. More than often, prefects also try to close one eye to first-time offenders – he may have been unaware of what is allowed or disallowed.

At the end of the day, students can definitely do all these things. There is essentially no difference between a regular student and a prefect – save for one thing – that the prefect has consciously chosen to be “whipped by responsibility and obligation” to commit himself to all these things. Any student can stand up for discipline, or actively organize events, or try to rouse the Rafflesian Spirit and all, akin to what a prefect is normally tasked to do. And I concede that there is the title and feeling of self-confidence and all. No doubt about that. But you have to see that the prefect has made the decision to exchange his freedom from being restrained by these obligations, to actively fulfil these obligations, albeit with the unglamorous part about being incentivized by the reputation and all; this is as opposed to the student who is not guaranteed to do these things that the school desperately needs. Also, there is a sense of rigour experienced by the nominee when he goes through the nomination, interview and election stages, which does differentiate the RIPB from the CEC. There is more that a nominee has put in stake: time, energy, conscious scrutiny and so on, in running for prefect than would be for a class-based CEC.

So there is a need for some body to officiate these responsibilities – through the RIPB. Okay. Maybe it seems that having such a body to elevate the status of a small group of 70 to be prefects is an elitist practice, sidelining the others in the way. As I said, students do have the right to question the establishment and the RIPB left right centre, or to raise any issue directly to anyone even; however, we exist as a venue to deliberate and magnify the significance of these issues. E.g. if only one person directly reports to a teacher or the school authorities of any issue, like bullying problems, the teachers can only cater to the affected individuals on a one-to-one basis. Tackling a widespread bullying problem, however, truthfully speaking, not only needs the cooperation from teachers and students, but a vigilant body, in this case the prefects, to offer the manpower and organisation to enforce measures against bullying.

That’s all to it, from my vantage point, having been a prefect for close to a year now. It would be wonderful if there were no need for prefects, but in reality there are always individuals who choose to ignore the need for social order, consciously contravening school rules. Take the example of playing soccer in uniform; the basic thing to do would be not even play in uniform at all times, rather than playing in the sly when teachers aren’t around to catch people. The fact is, because it is near impossible to make RI become 100% free of disorder. RIPB exists to ensure that disorder is kept to a manageable minimum.

Other than that, one can seriously say that there is no difference between a student and a prefect.

Realities

2007-09-23T00:32:00.000+08:00

From the almost-non-exhaustive list of links I have on my blog, it seems that I don’t really receive much readership. Oh well. Much as it feels like I’m talking to a blank wall, the noble mission of my blog, is, after all, a personal pursuit of mine, and not one of pandering to others’ tastes - inevitably at the cost of the level of correspondence I dismissed.

Well. I’ve certainly thought it through. It’s definitely still worth it giving my all. People around me already do so without care or concern. And it is from them that I’ve come to see value where I thought there wasn’t. And so, I’m going all out next year – whatever the case, the final year is looming ahead, meaning that no stones must be left unturned. It’s the final chance already, and I simply don’t want to waste it all to procrastination, indecision and incompetence. I’ve already had enough of that.

And yet another eventless week of DMP floats by in silence, five days having passed away without so much the significance of a blink of an eye. Tells pretty much about the value of the programme really. For one, the timing is really not to my liking, being before EOYs – naturally condemning these good three weeks to mugging instead of focusing on the specialized things that I recall should be the focus of it all? And of course, not forgetting the loss of curriculum time that’s sped up the syllabus (especially maths) to a fantastic pace. Amidst this time, I have, however, hardly cast much of an eye to intensive mugging in preparation for the EOYs – courtesy of some rather overdue work from pre-September holiday times, and right now I am still blighted by the remaining half of a history portfolio. So much for backward planning to start proper revision by last Wednesday.

That is, not to say, that my days have gone by without meaningful use (if mugging can be considered meaningful use), but I’ve basically covered certain isolated chunks of maths and chem these few weeks since the holidays, with tuition coming into the picture. Plus attendance for Mrs Tan’s revision lessons. It’s quite regretful that I only started to really understand old topics that I’d have given up on if not for the sporadic revision nowadays. I’m really hoping the 40% weightage the EOY has is going to improve the status quo. Taking into account it could very well work both ways, with drastic consequences I don't even dare to fathom.

I know there is life outside school. I don’t know how come I came to be caught in the grey area between my reality and my dreams. Wild dreams, realistic dreams, dreams about extracurricular activities (in a non-scholastic context). I see these articulated everywhere. It’s meaningful that I’ve come to realise this.

But realities hold on. And I can’t do everything, though there are a lot out there who have the determination and discipline to do what I aspired.

A meditative bus journey

2007-09-15T13:51:00.000+08:00

The results weren’t officially revealed today, but I’ve been duly informed.

I’m not giving up. This is not to say that I’m going to become anti-establishment; in fact, I think I owe the incoming exco much in terms of their gracious attitude and openness to making me a part – not in name, but in value.

It’s still as worth it as before. Not as I would have liked it to be though.

But there’s no turning back now. I didn’t know where my priorities lay.

And I’m going to rebuild my credibility again. For the sake of RICO. No more care nor concern for legitimacy or legacy.

It may all really be my doing. My aloofness. Dabbling in things that never came to fruition.

I didn't make my statement strong enough.

The intrinsic value I thought missing seems to have recollected. The race ends here, but the spirit carries on.

The bus never stops for long.

one day it will but not now

i hope

Missed chances and a mild anomaly

2007-09-14T21:17:00.000+08:00

It’s been quite a hiatus, lasting more than a month, much more than previously thought. I either over- or under-estimate myself. But admittedly, I’ve grown lazy to blog often anymore, and if I ever do get the inspiration to write something down, it passes by as soon as I am faced with the torrential onslaught of homework that I'm undermotivated to do. And not to mention my problem of procrastination…that seems impossibly difficult to completely eradicate. Well. It seems that since so much has happened, and I barely have a full impression of whatever that has happened so far, for posterity’s sake and as per normal I guess I’ll just do a brief recountal. Memories are worth keeping – indeed, I believe there’s some intrinsic value to be in the know rather than lose all sense of history. It is a cornerstone of one’s personality, and to certain extent the basis of my personality.

And on this note, I don’t want to lose, or waste any more chances. There’s no coming of a second one, and that’s what I gather from these four weeks that have blazed by.

No more, please. Let it start with this entry.

The MPP chance

Despite the flurry of CCTs that week, in retrospect, it seems hardly true. Week 9 was far worse, but in a different sense, partly attributable to the lack of time, lack of sleep and lack of preparation for the deadlines for the tons of work due right after that killer CCT week. Preparation for the MPP debates was quite hectic and last minute, so it didn’t quite turn out as well as would have been desired. I’m still quite hurting from my personal showing. All that stumbling and lack of poise and speed for my four-minute speech ended up quite horrendous, even though I seemed to manage to get back to the speech proper.

Keng Chee’s group got first, and Wenjie got best speaker. We didn’t win anything. But I’m still quite marvelled at how we managed (at long last) to gel as a group, however late that turned out to be. That, I think would be where we won. It’s not about carrying the points across, or coming up with the best bill. At the end of the day, I’m really content that we even managed to grasp Singapore criminal procedure in the first place, and have worked together to come up with something constructive. I mean, even our mentor said ten years of reviewing the code haven’t even led to fruition to this day – what more a mere eight months?

I was slightly dejected – not about whether we won, that was beside the point – but that we didn’t grasp the opportunities to maximize what we could get out of using the two hours every Wednesday. And about overestimating my capability to rebut the opposition on all counts. And perhaps for choosing this topic in the first place. It runs everywhere. There’s too much that I want to undertake, and yet when I look at the list of things that I do, it seems again improbable that I can’t do it while others can (in more or less equivalent ways).

The CCT chance

I barely spent more than three hours (on average) for each of the five subjects that were on for CCT in Weeks 8 and 10 – due to extracurricular commitments like Drama of History on National Day and blah. Realistically speaking, I think these few weeks of the September holidays and DMP break are when I’ve really mugged on a scale equalling that of my Sec 1 and 2 days. All the CCTs, be they science/math or humanities/languages at most gravitated that one day of intense studying before they were administered – obviously to no avail.

I have a GPA of 3.2. And EOYs are coming in twenty days’ time.

The RICO chance(s)

Undoubtedly, it is one that I cherish the most – for two years at least. I used to have quite a load of ideas in Sec 2 for RICO – did a proposal in June last year before the camp. A plan for a yearbook, which I now fear is too late with the passing of Mr Yeo. Ideas on upping the standard. Yet I’ve seen myself diluting my commitment for RICO with the onset of so much else, what with the RAs and other responsibilities. And yet I see myself gravitating towards greater conflict with my parents should I continue to relentlessly pursue leadership in CO. My zhongruan almost got thrown away. And conflict with my main occupation as a student – academics. I see my credibility whittling down because of stretching myself too much. Too fingers stuck in too many pies.

And will it become my personal Iraq war – stuck in between? Or the success of Japan? Yes, it’s a bit diao and corny to analogise it this way. But it is true. The politics of the world are founded by human nature. And human nature begins with the self.

And at the end of the day – as per many Rafflesians – it’s worth it. I have and will keep to this chance. The speech went okay, despite my being the last to speak and only half (or less than thereof) of RICO were still there listening. The interview – which was what mattered more – is more of an unknown. And it was on the same day as the parody assessment. Which involved hysterical handphone coordination of dashing around countless times. Brilliantly telling. Or chilling rather.

Tomorrow shall tell.

Court was so fun today

I have finally discovered the stage, as dowdy old Gloucester. Almost everyone said I was funny, because I was being me really. Anyway, the Lit parody was much of an unexpected success, given that Ashish (with all his customary procrastination) only finalized the script three days before. And without prior consultation with Ms Kuang. And he (again, customarily) withheld foreign participation in the scriptwriting process. To heck with teamwork.

But we pulled it off anyway, since this was, in true sense of the definition, a parody. King Lee was more on the satirical end, despite its explosive humour; Deader than Fiction was bogged down by purely technical faults that quite ruined its attempts at humour; J&R was, hmm, well, more on the overt grotesque that was hard to swallow, while invoking much hysteria at the heavy sexual undertones it championed. As for Blind at First Sight, it was good, but was slightly lower on the spunk and outrageousness that are characteristic of a parody, and I really couldn’t stop laughing at all the allusions, nonsense and randomness of Leon’s The Gods Must Be Really Crazy.

We won. But even as I see why we did, even till now, I don’t have that sense of overwhelming euphoria that is the fruition of effort and commitment. What we did was to stick to conventional parody. It was totally a last-minute production that cost nothing except time and a whole load of adrenaline, twice. Ashish had that same gut feel too. We didn’t have much of a team effort put in, like what the other groups, especially Deader than Fiction did (they prepared before the June break).

Really mixed feelings.

Or not

The following week spelled contrary doom, though, what with the Scopes trial assignment extremely last minute (that is, literally) in spite of scraping through. Again, as per usual, we missed the deadline for the written case and dragging Rich down alongside. Have to take my hat off to his even-temperedness and patience. With the CCTs over by Thursday, however, everything ground to a halt prior to Teacher’s Day.

Titus and Shiyang, who were totally consummate in the roles as all-out doofuses onstage, hosted the Channel RI celebration very well. Shorts plus blazers, slapstick, and farcical commentary almost brought the whole house down. But the Institution Saga video rocked the most – a parody of Final Fantasy, modelled after College Saga on YouTube.

I stayed behind to finish the handwritten RE portfolio, then went back to Yangzheng with Bryan. Jaren wasn’t keen, Sung Ming had CCA on and Zhu Chong wasn’t really around. So close to 14 people turned up in the end. All I have to say is, I think the old 6G identity is close to diminishing. Only a fraction of the girls continue to maintain a highly active network till this day, whereas the rest seem to have dispersed, perhaps without possibility of ever having a full reunion. We never had one in the first place; not even in the lower sec years; and given the current trend of a burgeoning amount of responsibility and schoolwork in upper sec and beyond, the future is admittedly quite bleak for something of such scale. My June holidays’ initiative to have greater participation in class reunion activities seem to have little effect; the Yahoo group, as Boey Ying predicted, has not had a new message since its inception.

So after roughly two-plus hours of stoning around in the canteen and walking back and forth to find the teachers, we only managed to speak with Ms Foong. She didn’t seem to have changed much since three years ago, but from my vantage point her position as a teacher, whom I used to be apprehensive towards, has somewhat diminished. More so, as the years fly by, she has come to be simply a senior, an experienced predecessor to us. My gratitude to her hasn’t changed; but from where I am now, her advice really seems to come more from the perspective of someone who’s been through almost the same system as us.

We never got to see Luo-laoshi or Mrs Leow though, since our dallying around and sluggishness to move about cost us the opportunities to catch them before they left. To which Ms Foong pointed out that if we were really sincere about well-wishing, it probably isn’t enough. That is the blatant truth. The main purpose of coming back to my alma mater has since evolved from one of expressing gratitude to our previous successive teachers, but rather as a social gathering for former classmates. It is but an euphemism that disguises the true intent that masquerades behind everything else.

I think it is worth it to reminisce. No doubt about the fact that past experiences are irretrievable as they pass away – as with the intrinsic value of memory that constitutes the bulk and basis of the individual’s personality. But we are often caught when we embrace the past with such alacrity that we tend to overlook the purpose of it all. I’m not saying it’s regressive in nature to wallow in the irretrievable past, but where difficulties persist, all we can do is to try our best to maintain that thread of contact for as long and as much as possible.

We went to Macs at Central after that. The rest tar-paued and went to Jiayin’s house (if I recall clearly enough) to watch a movie, leaving Marcus Wong and myself to an unexpectedly long chat for almost two hours. Talked about his JC prospects and compared our different school systems. Apparently we are on divergent tracks – his being going at his own pace and minimizing stress; mine being stretching myself to the fullest. Also talked somewhat about the future of 6G. If within three years, only 14 of a bumbling, diverse, humongous class of 44 remain faithful to gathering up once in a while, as I said earlier our future is close to zilch – that is, until we pick up those old class photos or revisit some ageing blogs and forums and Friendster accounts a decade or two later. And then again the sense of belonging would have long dissipated into nothingness.

Unless we try, of course, to reverse the situation.

The subsequent holidays, also known as Term 3 Week 11 for obvious reasons, were however mightily slack for once. There was only bio homework given out; we were supposed to be left to mug in peace for EOYs over the next five weeks, of which less than three are left. The TLC workshop was abruptly cancelled, while I went for tuition classes for the first time in four years for Math and Chem, my weakest links.

And now five days of DMP have already passed. It’s been quite slack and full of free periods so far, but the timing of which, however really defeats the purpose of DMP in the first place. DMP is meant for broadening opportunities for students in areas that would otherwise be obscure in the conventional curriculum. And yet it has to be placed right before the EOYs without even a full week in between, while the curriculum before that has to be compressed to a degree beyond my mental capacities and processing power. Four weeks of mugging aimlessly compared to spreading out the curriculum over to these four weeks, would be far better in making us actually understand to an acceptable level the final few topics, especially in highly content and concept based subjects. And have DMP after EOYs.

Now, probably not until another month is over.

Hiatus

2007-08-12T21:57:00.001+08:00

For once, a never-before-officially-acknowledged hiatus.

Things to cover, note to self – RICO EXCO speech, CCTs, National Day, Drama of History, Maths tuition, impending doom.

Term 3 Week 8. Probably a week to go down in history.

DoH, King Lear, CCTs and priorities

2007-07-25T20:55:00.000+08:00

WE WON DRAMA OF HISTORY FINALS! WOOHOO!

The competition, in retrospect, actually didn’t have much of the tense atmosphere of a competition in the first place; the Museum was hushed up about who the participating schools were, and we never got to watch any other performance other than ours. We set off after school (Lit period was kind of cut short) – and already, even though no one was actually articulating it, there was a definite tension in the bus, very much unlike the previous rounds that we made to the Museum (the auditions, rehearsal rounds). A handful of other LitRA guys came down to watch the performance before King Lear. We went there, put in our all, and it was truly a flawless production that resulted. The whole thing went faster than we thought – it’s a ten-minute play after all, and so from 2.30 onwards we were all stoning around. Apparently Andrew held the stage with his extravagant bimbotic/sluttish/effeminate rendition of Edward. It’s not a wonder, therefore, that all the laughter sounded distinctly female and high-pitched. Kudos to Kieran for the photos!

On the bus

The eLITHISTs and 3000 dollars (of which 3000 is donated)

Me looking prematurely aged from behind (or in front, as always)

At the Esplanade rooftop

Following our win at the Museum, we went down to Esplanade for the RSC staging of King Lear, featuring Ian McKellen as the eponymous character. Ate at the Gluttons’ Square and went for poetry on the rooftop before the performance. For 82 dollars I think the seats were actually quite bad – with all the bags I was lugging around there was hardly any leg space, even after stuffing as much as possible under the seat. And the worst thing was how unsuited the audience was to the performance. Laughing, interjecting, making noises, privately conversing throughout the entire four hours of vegetating before the production. Inadvertently I guess it may be a failing of Shakespeare’s work in the modern context, since only those who actually studied the text would have been more entertained, or at least experienced catharsis.

On the other hand, this is Week 5. Meaning that the CCT wave has started once again (or rather is building up steadily), starting with abominable Maths on Monday. As expected, last minute mugging DOES have an effect on one’s performance in the exam, but of course this is still second to intensive revision beforehand. And for the first time, I’m actually confident of passing on my own right (since the standard of the previous CCT was lowered to compensate for the general poor performance for Maths last term). Social advocacy was bittersweet. Proposal was highest in class, but presentation was totally impromptu. Chem practical came and went.

Had the Chinese CCT today, another case of last minute mugging, although I’m generally fine with Chinese. Definitely more straightforward than Maths. I’ve always had hatred against Maths since primary school. In PSLE it was the only subject for which I scored a grade lower than the rest (A instead of A*), and so far it’s been telling of the kind of results I’m averaging today. Can’t say that I’ve been putting my best efforts so far though. This is the last time I’m going to passively accept my lot – and my parents more so. I desperately want to work harder for it, but with so many preoccupations cutting in, something has to give. Or I just have to make space for me to take something in. Inevitably meaning that that something has to give.

I really can’t make the decision. Something that I like and hate at the same time, for something that I can’t put my finger on just yet. One, a waste of time (most of the time); the other, a waste of money if nothing comes out of it. Can’t say if either is better. Plus the fact that I’m putting in effort elsewhere now.

High time to rethink priorities.

On a lighter note

2007-07-19T04:20:00.000+08:00

A breather that punctuated the rather depressing atmosphere of the past few days.

Was introduced to this parody of Michael Jackson's Thriller single by Leon. Couldn't stop laughing after that. Note that the English subtitles are NOT a direct translation, quite obviously.

The wake

2007-07-19T03:28:00.000+08:00

I briefly mentioned the passing of Yang Lao Shi last Thursday. His wake was held last Saturday, and so RICO (or rather 30-something members of which) came down to perform for him. It’s such a surreal experience trying to come to terms with death. As though it seems like a joke. An impossibility, or at least an elaborately planned magnificent hoax. Yang Lao Shi was simply someone whom one would never have expected to go away so soon, or for that matter, so abruptly. Not when everyone believed that his cancer was treated early. That he would be returning to us once more. That he’d either be sitting among the audience in our tribute concert or even be well enough that the concert would be called off sooner or later. He was such “hao hao xian sheng” – mild-tempered, magnanimous, and most of all, patient to a more-than-often rowdy group of 80+ boys, many of whom didn’t take things seriously.

Anyway, I ceremoniously paid respects to our former conductor for the last time – and in those fleeting three or four seconds when I took a glance at his embalmed body, I saw the face of a sleeping man. At peace and laid to rest. Estranged from the external world.

The entire lot of us bowed thrice in reverence of his final white abode, adorned with scores of wreaths and some of his prized possessions. Ultraman soft toys. An ornate chess set. Table tennis racquets and balls. Evidently Yang Lao Shi was hardly esoteric in life despite his choice to pursue traditional Chinese music. At a time (in the past two or three decades probably), when such a decision made would have been frowned upon as a poorly-thought through proposition.

Arranging the seats and stands for our mini-performance by request of the bereaved, tanbo first performed Huan Xin (refer to the much-screwed up rendition by RICO’s tanbo section below). This, among Yang Lao Shi’s acclaimed works, is by far the most often performed piece tanbo has ever practised, almost synonymous with Yang Lao Shi himself. The two other songs were arrangements he made, Jia Jia Le (quite rushed, given that I received the scores only in the morning), and Xiao Cheng Gu Shi (the Teresa Teng song). Chen Wei gave a eulogy subsequently, and boldly performed his new composition, Xin Xian.

Some people couldn’t resist breaking down. As Wenqiang said his few words of gratitude, I was almost quite ready to tear myself (both ways perhaps). I recall hearing about Yang Lao Shi for the first time from my father. He was the double bass player in his secondary school days, and was already under Yang Lao Shi’s baton then. If the maths is done properly, Yang Lao Shi had already committed himself to a musical career since his twenties. I have a CNY disc at home that apparently features Yang Lao Shi as the zhongruan player, and so I ever contemplated actually asking him to autograph it. Obviously that was never done.

Looking back, I’m kind of regretting not having struck up a conversation or two with Yang Lao Shi while he was still around. Only when things, people and experiences that we value have come to pass, do we acknowledge that we are in the wrong. That we’ve missed the boat forever.

And with reflection

2007-07-12T03:14:00.000+08:00

I am a self-professed procrastinator of the highest order – that it seems ritualistic, even cyclical when I can’t hand in homework on time. A rut I can’t get out of. Especially since the passing of the June holidays (can’t say much about it). It’s not that I don’t understand my work (albeit sometimes forgetting concepts in the sciences), or that I can’t get down to doing concrete things for my work, but it’s a sense of a lack of direction. What’s the purpose of being here? Doing well academically? Taking part in so many extracurricular activities and competitions (not that many)? Leadership positions? I remember 大伯伯 asking me to lead the childhood he never had – with his having to start school prematurely and work particularly harder than his peers. He said to enjoy life now. "There's such a thing as the cinema."

The benefits are obviously there, by working so hard. But some benefits that aren’t apparent now only become so much later in life. How do you cram so many facets (maybe I should use “much” here – correctly for once) of youth and life into such a short space of time? Six years in primary school, plus another six in secondary / JC. Twelve years. Enough? I hardly think so.

Three and a half years in RI have passed already. I expect the following year to be even more challenging than what we have now, that it should just fleetingly pass by like a gust of wind. How much of it can I catch? To make the remaining time meaningful? Why must it be so fast? Already on Tuesday the current Sec 3s were given a subject options lecture for RJC. Already are we gathering momentum to hit the far-flung standards expected of us by the time the A-levels approach. So soon already?

Went for swimming finals support yesterday. It seemed that apart from the preservation of the physical outlook of the finals, everything else had changed; prize presentations were held right after events, sandwiching time away till 6+ or so. As usual I was hollering my way for those four hours, and yet it seems so hard to rouse the crowd to cheer along until the last six events. Same for Youth Week – it’s ended, all the hype’s gone, but was there even much of a hype over it in the first place? People are getting reluctant to do things nowadays – even relaxing things like watching movies in the 600-seater auditorium only attracted ten to twenty students. And even that’s a liberal estimate. Success, yes. But effectiveness? Targets of bringing up the “youthful spirit” of Rafflesians achieved? Long way to go, man.

I’m getting lost. Jonathan passed me a pro-Christian pamphlet to go for some seminar on Christianity, which developed into a truism versus altruism discussion. Can life be altruistic? Living life for the sake of wanting to have the experience of life. I’m always contemplating these ideas at random moments – but it’s always been do work first, slack later and think about all these more important stuff. A massive contradiction. My world seems bleak. Monotonous. Not that I’m tired of living it (touch wood, never in the world would I ever question the value of life), but at the moment trying to come up with the philosophy behind it is still tricky. After all, many have come and gone without even making much progress in this aspect. Much less even contemplating their purpose in life and the world.

One soul close to RICO has recently passed. Our previous conductor, Yang Lao Shi, who would have been helped so much by the upcoming fund-raising concert – thank you so much. Your legacy has not been missed.

People are just coming and going. Coming and going. All the time. Can we just stop for a moment and think?

Addendum: I don’t understand, but is it always in human nature to be so selfish? Even as I type this post out, I can’t help but see the nuances in this post that seem so uncontrollably Machiavellian.

So much for altruism.

To be met with happiness

2007-07-12T03:09:00.000+08:00

Close to two weeks have all but silently elapsed since the last post, and the duration has been marked by Drama of History auditions on 6th July (last Friday), the rush for Moot Parliament and Youth Week organizing. These major events went rather acceptably well, exceptionally for the DoH auditions. It wasn’t exactly the best performance to date we had staged (for which I was a stagehand alongside administrator) – basically some minor glitches in props movement and light transitions. Apparently Mr Shahrom reported positive feedback from the judging panel (one of whom did laugh out loud at Andrew’s effeminate entrance – would that be considered praiseworthy, I’m not sure) as relayed from another school’s teacher. In any case, now that we’ve gotten through to the finals, it’s more hard work from now. Scheduling isn’t going to be easy; there’s interhouse debates on Friday, extra Lit lesson next Tuesday, plus all the varied CCA and third lang days. And Andrew can’t reprise Edward. Which means someone learning lines from scratch and a massive inconvenience.

BUT WE'VE GOT IN! That's what matters anyway.

Looking back for the past three weeks or so, it’s really been quite a remarkable collaboration between Lit and History RA. Even Ms Kuang has been so excited as to take the liberty of asking how the production turned out, and requested photos in advance that day. Some have stated how much better we gel than with other academic groups; I shall not make an attempt to elucidate further, but I remain quite perplexed at the animosity between History RA and that particular group. Brushing aside that strange enmity and returning to Drama of History though, I still find that the production has been quite remarkable in its pace of progress. The script was only finalized the week before, and the actors themselves (Conan and Andrew especially) exhibited a knack for mugging their lines thoroughly well.

At the National Museum. We shall prevail. (picture koped from Jian Xiong)

Met up with our lawyer-mentor last Tuesday for a Moot Parliament meeting, but we still ended up working till late hours on Sunday night (morning really) for the CPC amendment bill, plus the accompanying cabinet memo. Couldn’t manage to send through properly though, and we almost got screwed when the recipients didn’t get the bill and memo. Spent some time trying to salvage the damage after school with Mrs Ang. Well, that’s done for now, and it’s going to be debates prep time for now. Conveniently left my thumb drive with her, leading to a frenzy that broke out at home regarding it.

For once, no words (28 words to be exact)

2007-06-30T20:01:00.000+08:00

In an attempt to deflect derisory comments about my cheemness and wordiness, a video post lies ahead.

Why RICO tanbo just rocks. You guys truly make my life :)

What's left of productivity now

2007-06-30T18:29:00.000+08:00

School’s started once again, to an ever-busier Term 3 that looms ahead. Till now, I still owe some holiday homework for Chinese, English social advocacy, final MPP bill, Youth Week (visit the blog!), among 57 other tasks that I’ve to complete by next Tuesday. Anyway, I received the first Economist issue through mail! Wonder whether I’ll be able to have the time to read it on a weekly basis though, given that I still do have 57 other things and 10-plus books to read.

These two days are staff training days – meaning an additional five-day holiday for most, but absolutely none on my part. For much of Thursday and Friday I was in school till 7-plus for RIPB training, followed by Drama of History rehearsal and prop-making in the afternoon. I have to say, however, that the RIPB training was quite slowgoing, despite imparting some new concepts like the DISC profiling of personalities, which proved quite interesting. The issue of the timing and duration of the training session, on the other hand, was altogether bad, having little time to cover all my homework and having to miss more than half of the course.

Drama of History. The original collaboration between Shan Zhi, Rich, Kenneth and I has long since become defunct, in spite of our version making the cut at first. Admittedly that one was very dense for a stage production, and so the one the Jon Lian spruced up seems far more palatable and entertaining than before. We’re making significant progress with the props and tightening of the script thus far. Acting’s not bad, but Conan’s character could do with much more colour in terms of mannerisms befitting him. Unfortunately, however, the fact still remains that everyone could do with a much more acute sense of urgency – because most of the time, people come at irregular times and leave irregularly, consequently burning off at least an hour of stoning around for the two rehearsal sessions we had for these two days. Or rather, learning that Epic Movie is really just a load of hogwash.

After yesterday’s rehearsal ended, however, some of us stayed back to finish up the props and clear up LT1. A discussion seemed to reveal that holiday homework is a concept that only the school seems to embrace with bravado, in comparison with other schools, and currently under review.

Sometimes it’s just a simple chat that can arouse such a torrent of angst bottled up deep down; it feels great to have people to b*tch to regarding the way things are happening in life. Incidentally, this marks my first usage of an expletive on the public domain.

Contrary to popular belief, school normally starts early. One week early.

2007-06-22T23:41:00.000+08:00

I have had the premature honour of going back to school one week before school starts.

Every day of this blasted week, I’ve been returning to school from Monday to Saturday (tomorrow, that is). The RICO camp, for one, was on Monday and Tuesday, and probably was the only well-spent time at school. Was appointed group leader, got to know Raphael, Jonathan, Yong Sheng (the Sec 1) and Yuchen despite the painfully short one-and-a-half day span of time for bonding during the camp, for which Chun Yin rose to the occasion as camp I/C. Due to my predisposition towards oversleeping (the record remains at 15 hours), I had the fortune of turning up five minutes late at the atrium. There was some sort of an Amazing Race, involving a breathless dash across RI and RJ some 5-6 times back and forth from 9 to 11.30, followed by a two-hour lunch and xiaozu practice. Then there was another two hours of trying to compose an original piece of music – ended up stoning around playing random stuff without writing down the notes. Dinner was quite luxurious by school standards, which lasted another hour before the night games started. For this I acted as one of the coordinators, in particular the jailer, cooking up all sorts of apparently torturous but effectively lenient punishments for those caught. For once this was the only opportunity to pay obeisance to the previous headmasters’ portraits in the atrium. Had a really good chat with Gilbert till some time quite late. The next day was even less stringent than before, what with waking up at 7.30 and the cancellation of PT. High-grade nasi lemak for breakfast, went for the presentation of our juvenile compositions. Yuchen and I sort of improvised somewhat in the last hour, and needless to say I made some awful mistakes in the actual performance. Which pretty much sums up the entire process of the RICO camp; nothing too flashy or exceptional, but great fun as always.

As aforementioned, I had the fortune of starting school one week in advance, and Wednesday was no exception. Went to do the Inner Circle programme ushering, from 7.50 to 9-plus, and tried to do work at the library, where for fifteen minutes I willed myself to fall asleep in the project corner, before going for RIPB R&R. Went down to ICA to collect the new biometric passport after that, and collected my new conservative spectacles (which no one found any difference from the old one).

Thursday. Woke up late with bowel misdemeanours before reaching the Humanities room (or I should say the Geography room) at RI for Drama of History discussion. Apparently Mrs Neoh was late as well, and everyone hadn’t got down to doing anything before I came belatedly. Discussed the roles and logistics of the play, the transitions between Act 1 and 2, a preliminary reading and roleplaying of the re-enactment segments. All I can say that it was essentially quite a waste of time; should we have had edited the script beforehand, the meeting would have had been far more efficient. Lunched at S11, borrowed Brave New World, The Shipping News and The Rise and Fall of the Great Powers. As with before, actually having time to read these books is no longer much of a possibility anymore.

RIPB meeting (only 20-plus people) on reviewing board vision, school issues before the worst term of the year begins to upset the uneasy tranquillity of the June holidays (yet again). We momentarily skewed towards the conduct of the next elections, and later did a briefing on Youthweek’07 (follow the logo link on top). Followed by another Youthweek meeting, quite fruitful, with my settling with organising the Records event. Had lunch at Food Junction with Koon Chong, re-borrowed one of my unread library books, but ended up unable to go for the 6G gathering at Sentosa. Not that it was much of a gathering anyway; it was more of a getaway for some ten ex-classmates of mine.

Come tomorrow, I shall be left with one and two-thirds of a day to complete 9 pieces of urgent homework. So much for clearing my file on Sunday. In the words of Shi De, it’s just going to be boringest.

EPGY and scattered thoughts

2007-06-15T18:32:00.000+08:00

I've no idea what's gotten into me.

Honestly speaking apart from reading some seven chapters of the inimical Ru Lin Wai Shi, I've not done any real homework except those really urgent ones. Like the English Portfolio current affairs responses, the social advocacy proposal to ban smoking in Bishan and so on; essentially things like ERP or CRP haven't been touched, and I, as usual, have found myself unable to do much real work. Needless to say none of my academic grievances in maths and the sciences has been remotely redressed for the past three weeks.

Especially with the EPGY expository writing course that has lasted for the past two weeks (10 days essentially), I've been implicated with far less time to pursue anything substantial. By substantial I mean something directly affecting GPA, for which I haven't exactly put in much effort in alleviating – the 3.15 I got in semester 1 is not exactly what I want to see repeated at the end of the year, caused by reasons more than obvious in the last sentence of the previous paragraph.

Going back to the course, however, I have to say that how it was conducted, really leaves much to be desired. Spending three hours in the morning doing work (out of which I guess only half qualifies to be real work), and another three in the afternoon doing self-study should hardly be counted a truly enriching way to while time away. Partly due to the fact that the class had some discipline problems as well. Anyway, managed to make some Rafflesian acquaintances: Hui Chiang (RI / Sec 1 rotund bowler and 3.75-er), and Shi Kaye (RG / Sec 3 choir member who practically knows the whole world). Not to mention 2 or 3 other local expatriate classmates.

Went to Coronation Plaza after the EPGY yesterday to check my spectacles. Apparently it was already koyak two months ago, and any further persistence in wearing my current pair would have resulted in the complete breakage of the left arm of my specs. Confirmed a whopping 875 and 1000 in the left and right eye respectively (for those who don’t know by now, I’m quite blind). My current specs are roughly two years old, and by now this look (profile pic) has long since been outdated. Kind of suits my character though. Got a lightweight metal frame – nothing fanciful or youthful for that matter, being the social conservative (dinosaur) I am.

One week left to clear all the homework. Prepare for Drama of History. Moot Parliament. Youth Week ’07 (RIdentity). RICO camp. 6G revival. Filing. Proposals.

It’s high time to go back to real life. “Real” life indeed.

Freewriting 1, irrelevant

2007-06-15T02:09:00.000+08:00

This is a piece of freewriting, which is explained as below. Quite interesting though, by using this it's actually able to depict a person's psychological condition. Not to mention flesh out any lingering ideas when thinking about a particular essay topic and the like.

As an introduction I should say that freewriting is all about writing and not thinking deeply about the topic when writing this piece of freewriting. It's like in a matter of time ranging from five to thirty minutes of precious golden time a person devotes every single iota of energy in his body to keep on writing on and on and on without stoppage or interruption in the middle of it. Usually this also discounts grammatical and all sorts of linguistic errors that are resultant because of this. In this case I just started writing about anything in my head. Like why am I staying up so late at 2.12 am writing this heck of a post and self-censoring myself along the way? I'm doing this wrong, aren't I? No. Freewriting is only a medium through which we are able to expose whatever that's flowing though the mind, somewhat like Virginia Woolf's stream of consciousness theory, whereby one writes whatever that goes on through the first person's or a particular character's mind. Reportedly I think this is a fantabulous way to relegate one's feelings into words. There's nothing much that can be done anyway, except to possibly reveal one's nonsensical chain of thought relating to nothing significant in particular. Ok I just wasted so much precious time that should have been used for good sleep and recuperation and yet I'm sitting here typing this rubbishy post. I should be relating how the writing camp was or do homework or go play games or do planning for MPP, the Drama of History competition, PMU, further expound on my vision for RICO and yet I'm just sitting here typing my fingers away in a last-digit attempt to while away good time till 2.20 am. It's not even past 10 minutes yet, for goodness' sake and yet I keep complaining that time flies. Time is such an intangible thing - that I can't even predict or pinpoint at the very list what time should it be now unless I swivel my eyes down toward the bottom-right hand corner of the screen and see that it's 2.18 am now. I have this new printer (Brother brand) and it's actually not too bad but the ink quality leaves much, way much more to be desired. The ink that's printed out onto the paper doesn't dry immediately and smudges even after 2 minutes of leaving alone. Hopefully this blog won't wallow into some self-deprecatory, low self-esteem kind of emo outpost for myself to be angry with the world. Now that's something really irrational.

A delayed rant

2007-06-10T23:26:00.000+08:00

Evidently, I was overzealous in the previous post that I could actually commit to blogging as I did before. Leaving blogging to chance would be a far better contingency than trying to regret over and again about missing the opportunity to blog whenever possible. The blog, and the act of blogging essentially is my own doing and of my own accord; there's no end to what I can choose to record for posterity's sake.

So there.

Time really passes quickly. The concept of a school term, if I may take as an example, used to mean an immeasurable period of schoolgoing time that took ages to elapse in between the holidays. I never knew a term actually meant ten short weeks of mindless chionging until this year. The effects of RP aren't limited to time and the intangible though - my mum's rather fond of plucking out white hairs (over 50 in one sitting - used to average below 30 in Sec 2) to prevent herself from looking younger than her son. Sleeping at 1 used to be the limit in Sec 2, but to date I've stayed up the whole night a wondrous 10 times so far already. Which pretty much explains how come I slept 15 hours yesterday. I don't understand how people can manage their time so well when their schedules are like 5 times more hectic than me; it's partly due to self-discipline (which I'm hardly proud of myself). I hardly play any games, unless you consider Miniclip and YouTube surfing remotely qualification of formal entertainment. I only know the pathetic fact that Dota is a game. Yet I'm practically an in-and-out boring half-wit who can't manage my time properly - to the effect that my father raised his concerns regarding my taking so abhorrently long to do my writing assignments. Something I should be good at; efficient and quick, being in humanities RA. As far as I know that's the traditional measure of one's ability in excelling at the humanities, as implied.

Well, June hols are here, or rather halfway gone (or left, whichever sounds more pleasant). Out of a possible 30-odd days of doing something concrete during the oh-so-precious holidays, I'm rushing back to school almost every day. Not forgetting the scourge of holiday homework (reportedly to keep supposedly "high-ability" Rafflesians occupied meaningfully throughout the holidays), eating up precious time meant for recuperating. The 6 June Drama of History workshop was so inspiring, I think I may try implementing it for the whole group. And now I've thrown away all my mornings till 15 June for the last-minute Stanford writing course - it's free, yes, and there's a written evaluation at the end of it - but the past five days have been more than telling that the time spent won't be commensurate with the time put in. 9am-12pm = lesson and games, and from 12-3pm, free time galore, an euphemism for burnt-off time. Should I closely follow the schedule planned out, I'd have the very last Sunday of the holidays open for some real recuperation. The prospect of that, unfortunately, is far more remote in reality.

That, however, is beside the point. Within me there're constantly multiple ideological wars raging on, and increasingly the ambition-vs-everything else theatre has been the most compelling so far. I don't mind saying this at the risk of any RICO member reading this, if any - I have designs for a particular exco position in RICO, which has gone some time back since the start of Sec 2 last year. Inevitably my parents caught wind of this alarming prospect of my worsening results if I were to undertake even more responsibility - and the result? I almost lost my zhongruan. And I could either drop the idea, or be pulled out from everything altogether. RIPB. The two RAs. Whatever not related to my performance report at the end of the year was put up for the chop, should I not have relented.

I'm not ashamed to say that I cried as I typed that fateful email last Monday. Neither do I, however, blame my parents for what they were thinking at that point in time.

I must say I didn't go through anagnorisis though.

A timely rebirth

2007-04-16T00:38:00.000+08:00

The past four months of 2007 haven't been really kind to me. Most of it's been just work and more work - and for the first time, heaps of scoldings and bouts of depression and angst. There's been more than once, twice or thrice that I come back to this blog, and I find that despite the fact that I have so much in my daily life to possibly blog about, I just can't put myself to the keyboard and type out past events. And evidently, this being the first 2007 post I'm writing, it is really timely that I come back with renewed exuberance into the blogosphere. Even if I've forgotten most of the things that ought to have been written: the Japan trip, start of school, OBS, PI, 3L, RA, SYF, schoolwork in Sec 3, Chinese New Year and whatnot. There's simply too much, and I think these past events, really, are beyond what words can describe.

Now, let the refurbished Repository now dazzle you (how awfully cliched) - and basically show you I didn't get lost or *touch wood* die in Japan since last year. I'm planning for a comprehensive post documenting at least the significant details on the following past events:

Japan trip (December 2006)
RIPB camp
Orientation programme, media comm work
OBS
Chinese New Year
RA Literature and History, school in general
Prefects' Investiture
SYF (gold this time round!)
Academics and the perennial GPA score

I presume none of these events are of any de facto significance to anyone but myself?

Long-awaited updates in brief as much as possible

2006-12-18T20:06:00.000+08:00

Or rather a set of long-overdue updates. Well, since the holidays began on 3rd Nov, life has basically been reduced to going for CO practice (heightened towards preparation for SYF'07), debates (on hiatus till school begins since 12th Dec), OBS preparations (I'm in the Publications committee), homework, and needless to say, slacking around.

6th Nov (a Monday) marked the culmination of 2 months' worth of practice on the part of RICO - Dragon VIII, according to Ms Lim and Ms Sung, was a success. Apparently ticket sales was close to full house, with the full support (presence) of members' families and friends. It was the usual fare that we played, including Feng Nian Ji, Taiwan, Dragon, Huan Xin, but I personally enjoyed Dong Hai Yu Ge, a percussion-heavy piece that really energized everyone onstage (it probably deafened the audience).

After which, I rushed over for the 2A class chalet in HomeTeamNS (Pasir Ris). It was my first time going for a chalet. Missed the most meaningful part though - the reunion with Ms Tsang, Ms Liew and Mrs Seow was held the previous evening. When I was in SCH performing for the concert. Even so, we played overnight card games (learnt all of them in this chalet - yes, I did). Night games were especially enjoyable (Murderer and Polar Bear). Unforgettable.

It all ended on a melancholic tone - the chalet was fun and all, but the undeniable fact was that 2A inevitably had to split up. Some of us (me included) took the bus to RI together, and I checked out the Academy list. Got shortlisted for Literature and History.

With that it was on to course options for Sec 3 next year. After the talk by the DAS and some deliberation, I settled on doing Biology, Chemistry and the 2 RA subjects for Literature and History. I was originally set on doing Geography and History, or triple Science and History, but since JC subject combinations restrict students from doing both Humanities simultaneously and triple Science, my final subject combination would retain more future career options (discounting Physics-related fields). Turns out I'm in 3L next year with Shi De, Joseph, Dominic, Matthias, Geoffrey and Andrew.

One week after which, the RIPB (prefect) retreat was held in Port Dickson, Malaysia - at the same premises as the Malaysian Montage earlier this year. For the first time I had a glimpse of how RIPB members interlaced fun with work. At one moment everyone could be having fun, playing water polo, volleyball and even parodying Paul (the head prefect). Yet there was that composure and intense concentration with which everyone had when there were group reflections, departmental meetings and discussions. The food was quite so-so (even poor - especially the rendang beef that tasted like rubber), but with Mr Teo, Mr Yap and the presence of everyone, the atmosphere was nonetheless light-hearted.

Three days later (18th Nov), Ah Gong (my grandfather) held a family gathering. Though it was common understanding that it was in celebration of his 80th birthday, Seh-suk Gong had just passed us recently (October 2006), and so it was not advisable to celebrate. Numerous relatives whom I practically didn't recognise turned up for the event, and it was in such a mood that Da-be collated the family trees from everyone. Qiqi-jie (elder cousin) also brought her month-old son Wei Hong along. The gathering wasn't festive in name, but with the presence and greetings from everyone present, it was a warm event.

The holidays since then have been marked by Ah Qing-jie's (elder cousin) wedding dinners (there were two for the bride and groom's respective families), my resignation from NWSP (something I unwillingly did for convenience of time), CCA trainings, and the hurry (or lack thereof) to do homework. Also managed to catch An Inconvenient Truth while everyone else was practically occupied with The Prestige and Casino Royale. Hmph. But it was definitely a powerful presentation by the charismatic Al Gore (former US Vice-President), though it's notable that the timing matched that of the US midterm elections. Hmph.

Thankfully I managed to complete the Qi Xia Wu Yi book review it in time for the 6G gathering last Saturday (18th Dec). I took bus 70 opposite the house to Gabriel's home. And I had to take a cab from bus stop away less than 500m away from his house - add the peak hour surcharge and it was $4.70. Absolute waste of money. But the place was a real maze. Begonia Road, Crescent, Saraca Road, Mimosa Road, Terrace, Crescent...it was almost a case of semantics.

Contrary to what someone said, it was definitely not to be missed. Any gathering is certainly worth going to. Having only met once since Chinese New Year, the gathering was a refresher for me personally. The BBQ was quite a minor disaster though. I genuinely preferred the French loaf...There was a minor issue that happened though. 4 of the boys were playing taidi (Chinese vernacular term for a variant form of card game), with the loser being forced to jump into the pool. This inevitably evolved into a pool-jumping game, and a bystander was accidentally shoved in - with his wallet and handphone. Tempers flew, and he was visibly affected. A girl was subsequently pushed in as well, much to the joy of some and the chagrin of others. Despite these hiccups, it was a fun time getting to know one another again; albeit with too few people present.

Come tomorrow morning, I'll be in mid-air jetting off towards a much colder and less humid Tokyo. Subtract the week in Japan, and I'll have just about 6 days left of the holidays - to read the Literature books, cough up Maths practice, RIPB camp (not Retreat), and wrap up all the preparation work for OBS.

The result of irony.

Merry irony

2006-12-18T19:10:00.000+08:00

It's rather apparent how procrastination can often lead to numerous unwanted consequences. And it's not just about how lazy I've been to make frequent updates here - let's look now: a full 45 days have since passed the beginning of the holidays (3rd Nov), and a new year looms ahead with my Osaka-Tokyo trip inching closer with each day's passing (19-25 Dec). And I just finished the Qi Xia Wu Yi book review on Saturday (18th Dec) - how wonderful, only with my parents breathing down my neck every now and then. I have 19 tasks listed, scheduled perfectly down to the hour - and all that I've done since then has been limited to shifting dates and rescheduling time and again. At least the homework got done.

We never plan to fail...we just fail to plan. For many times we have heard this adage, but I hardly find this apparent in my life. Rather, it should be like that:

We never plan to fail...we just fail to plan. And so we plan too much.

What's integral accomplishing objectives ranging from the most minute - all the way to one that dominates an entire life, is the not just the desire to achieve these targets. It's all about maximum concentration. Put aside all reservations and distractions, and the only way out is to think linearly and systematically carry out each objective.

Which I couldn't do for much of the December holidays. How ironic. I can rationalize and plan for every single thing down to the most minimal of details, but it is this preoccupation for rigidity and above all, order in everything that reacts in the exact opposite - deviation. Standard deviation possibly, since deviation is my standard form. Maths. Bah.

Puns, irony - and take Literature I shall. Though I never imagined dedicating the 50th post on my blog for such a purpose.

By Shi De's invitation

2006-11-01T23:53:00.000+08:00

I wasn't expecting Shi De to think of me while doing this quiz, and so I must say this is a great privilege he has extended to me by inviting me to do this.

I miss somebody right now.
I do not watch tv these days.
I wear glasses or contact lenses.
I love to play video games.
I have tried marijuana.
I have been in a threesome.
I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
I curse.
I'm totally smart.
I've broken someone's bones.
I'm paranoid sometimes.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I need money right now.
I love sushi.
I talk really, really fast.
I have long hair.
I have lost money in Las Vegas.
I have at least one sibling.
I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
I couldn't survive without Caller ID.
I like the way I look.
I am usually pessimistic.
I have a lot of mood swings.
I have a hidden talent.
I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
I have pecked someone of the same sex.
I enjoy talking on the phone.
I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
I love to shop.
I would rather shop than eat.
I don't hate anyone.
I'm a pretty good dancer.
I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
I have a cell phone.
I believe in God.
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
I want to have children in the future.
I have changed a diaper before.
I've called the cops on a friend before.
I'm not allergic to anything.
I have a lot to learn.
I'm shy around members of the opposite sex.
I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
I have tried alcohol before.
I own the South Park movie.
I would die for my best friend.
I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
I am happy at this moment!
I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.
I study for tests most of the time.
I am comfortable with who I am right now.
I have more than just my ears pierced.
I walk barefoot wherever I can.
I have jumped off a bridge.
I love sea turtles.
I spend ridiculous money on makeup.
Plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
I'm proficient in a musical instrument.
I worked at McDonald's restaurant.
I hate office jobs.
I love sci-fi movies.
I think water rules.
I went college out of state.
I like sausages.
I adore bright colours.
I can't live without black eyeliner.
I don't know why the hell I just did this stupid thing.
I usually like covers better than originals.
I can pick up things with my toes.
I can't whistle.
I can move my tongue in waves, much like a snake's slither.
I have ridden/owned a horse.
I still have every journal I've written in.
I can't stick to a diet.
I talk in my sleep.
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.
I have jazz in my blood.
Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time.
I wear a toe ring.
I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with.
I am a caffeine junkie.
I have been to over 15 conventions.
I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical the better.
I'm an artist.
I only clean my room when necessary.
I like a person of the same sex.
I love being happy.
I am an adrenaline junkie.

I don't understand how this has been so lol, although watching SpongeBob 8 times with the same feelings over again would be rather lol. Typical.

Twilight

2006-10-31T23:57:00.000+08:00

Admittedly, it has been quite some time since I last updated this stagnant blog. CTs are already over, but all the other stuff just keeps flooding in. With the elections over (I think it's quite widely-known in RI that I'm a prefect now), there's duty to do, Board Retreat and RI Primary Schools' Debating Invitationals to de-conflict, and of course the Raffles Academies selection interviews for History and Geography. OBS (Outward Bound Singapore) is slated to happen from 8-12/1/2007 for Sec 3 orientation, while the RICO concert and course options are just around the corner. Post-CT activities make me treasure the CTs more. Seriously.

And I finally figured that it wouldn't make much sense trying to make amends to this blog by recounting previous events - can't remember properly anyway.

So...CT results first. I didn't do well for the CTs, honestly. The following results stand testimony to my lousy academic performance:

English / Lit: 40/50
Chinese: 55.5/100 (shocking)
Maths: 18.5/50 (even more shocking)
Science: 34/40
Geography: 17/30 (shocking)
History: 20/25
Malay: 41.5/50

Giving me a more-or-less average looking GPA of 3.66 overall.

Some might say this is nothing to be ashamed of. Yet many would also cringe at the idea of 3.66. It's basically a matter of divergent perspectives. When I remove myself from these perspectives, clear my head and think again, it just boils down to this: I didn't do quite poorly, but there is always a way to do better. Then again, I ask myself: why should I even care? By working so hard, all I get is always the thought that "I could have done it better". If in life, all we get in return for a genuine passion in the academics or whatever arena is the hanging thought of "can be better", then why carry on?

I'm just too much of a perfectionist...on one hand, it has pushed me to scale greater heights; yet it has been the same force that impeded my progress in managing time. I'll just have to do better time management. With more Math practice and training of time management, I'm looking forward to improvements in 2007. Hopefully.

On to more academic stuff. In the case that you, the reader, doesn't realise how boring a person I am, you might elect to skip the following chunk of mediocre recountal. In any case, yesterday's Raffles Academies (RA) interview went quite okay. I was recommended for Geography and History (okay, but note that my Maths is rather poor at 2.8 GP). The panel was made up of the HOD, 2 History and 2 Geography teachers. Basically this was a session of finding out my depth of appreciation and understanding in the two subjects, but I had to make a preference - History. And thus the interview was tilted towards the subject of History. It's quite strange how the system works though - the details are slowly revealed to the school population before the next stage sets in. Like the fact that Literature would become a compulsory RP subject if one Humanities RA were to be taken up. To me, it wasn't the fact that I would have to take Literature that caught me, but rather why these details are not made clearer. Perhaps this could help in sieving out the truly committed people out of those who aren't?

Now that the school year is ending soon (in 3 days' time), it's funny to look back and realise how quickly time passes. The two years of RI life so far might have been filled with assignments, pop quizzes, CA and CTs, but I somehow feel regretful that I've not taken enough initiative to develop closer relations (okay, it's not so bad in 2A - we're quite close). Even as only 3 days are left, I'm still brooding over administrative loose ends, payment to class fund, tickets sales and so on...just a pity that our time is just so little.

Apologies and just a minor update

2006-09-05T00:54:00.000+08:00

Visit wjsripb.wordpress.com!

I've really been overwhelmed by the past few weeks of work and things that come along, so perhaps I won't even be able to reciprocate the missing posts from end of Term 2 during the current holidays. So just a few things to note before I strike back with a more comprehensive post on what's happened since 3/8/2006 (and perhaps beyond that).

An urgent list of things to update within the next 2 weeks though:

Interhouse debates

Teachers' Day celebration @ RI and Yangzheng visit

RIPB elections campaign

Pa's birthday

RICO exco renewal

Of course there's much more than that, but I surmise these are the few updates (especially number 3) that are the most important issues at hand. Well, it's finally come to the campaign stage for the annual RIPB (prefectorial board) elections, and all those in RI who know me, please seriously consider voting for me. Besides having known me as your former / present classmate, that guy from so-and-so CCA, and through other means in RI, I would sincerely appeal for your support for who I am and the ideals that I stand for. It may sound somewhat cliched here, but this, and also many other qualities frequently quoted, are indeed what one should seek to see in a prefect worth voting. I'll be formulating a proper campaign over the next few days, to sort all my objectives and whatnot out. These details should be up on a different website (to be announced) specifically for campaign, which starts on 11/9/2006.

Perhaps the true time that I can really post everything out is when the CTs are over...argh.

Regarding my blog, change of plans, cross-country Championships...and Mdm Roch

2006-08-03T20:18:00.000+08:00

Apparently there have been many complaints that my blog is absolutely boring. I regret that this is the blatant truth, since there's actually nothing much worth blogging about in my mundane life. For one, I don't exactly live my CCA out on the rugby field, nor would I care much for fashion and popular culture. To put it simply, I am what most would call a mugger. Strangely though, I'm not exactly a mugger. My academic results keep fluctuating (maths...hmm). Once and for all, I want to debunk the myth that I'm only concerned about studies apart from anything else. To a certain degree, I mug, but only when important things like tests and assignments come in. Come to think of it, everyone has to mug for exams. One is only labelled as a mugger when he/she shows overtly how much or how hard he/she mugs. As far as I'm concerned, that is my own definition of a mugger.

That aside, due to time constraints (all the tests, work, assignments, debates, CO, interhouse stuff) I don't think I will follow the posting schedule I put up previously (refer to 22/7/2006 post). To quote a CO senior (who also blogs) who quoted someone else,

"...once the appropriate time to say something on a blog is over, the time never comes again."

Understandably, this was also a contributing reason for my less-than-satisfactory blogging record since the 22/5/2006 post. This doesn't mean that the posts will never come: I'll just have to find a free day during the September holidays to write down everything.

For the first time in my life, I actively took part and took pride in some sports event for the house. The Interhouse Cross-country Championships weren't held last year, so it was my first time taking part in a mass school physical event. We were dismissed at around 12.35 p.m., which was unusually early for Wednesdays. I took lunch, read TIME in the library, then set off for MacRitchie Reservoir with Buckley House towards the venue. Buckley House (all RI students should know) is among the 5 houses in RI, and unfortunately has had a close affinity with the number 5 since 3 or 4 years back. So it was definitely an uplifting experience to see so many Buckleyeans (about 100-200 or so) pace together towards the reservoir. An expanse of greenery. Well, after a purported 800-metre walk to as a house, the U-13 run kicked off at 3.00 p.m. Other Sec 2s to 4s lazed around, some complaining the utter waste of time the whole thing was. Evidently, most RI students are not exactly in full support for school-based events outside of curriculum time, which undoubtedly sacrfices their time for homework, revision, DOTA, Maple, Halo - some of the commitments shared by the common youth of Singapore today.

Finally, after a lengthy wait lasting 1 hour, the U-14s assembled for the third round at 4.00 p.m. It wasn't exactly the best time to start running - the air was arid, the temperature was at a high, and I had to get a sore throat two nights before. Before long, the run began. It was practically a stampede within the first one minute of the run; everyone was dashing, sprinting, pushing about wildly as soon as the horn was sounded. It was a full 4.8 km ahead of me, around the periphery of the reservoir...so I didn't rush, but started jogging quickly like in the NAPFA 2.4 km run. The terrain was quite rough through the hilly and forested area by the water reservoir itself, and it proved to be quite taxing soon after. The big crunch surprisingly came when the path opened into the pavement beside Lornie Road. Once the road ahead was in full view, I felt a pang of weariness and slowed down my pace. Ironically, a stich set in only when i started sprinting sporadically along the roadside. Apparently it never quite pays to rest and walk during a run - for me, it only gives me an unwanted stitch in the abdomen. So I just continued sprinting and walking for the remaining 900 metres or so towards the main entrance of the park. The last leg of the run was quite swift - despite the initial wrong turn, I ended up faster than quite a number of people behind (obviously because they walked). It was really tiring, running 4.8 km at once. But definitely an exhilarating one - too bad Buckley came in last again. Some house exco members actually attributed much of the lacklustre performance to the poor attitude of the current Sec 4 batch...which was quite depressing - the role models for us juniors are actually the poorest-performing among Buckley.

Yes, before I forget, was the episode with Mdm Roch. Every Monday, 2A trudges into her class, held at the computer lab-turned-LAN centre as and when we visit it. We aren't the only people guilty of using the facilities for "other" reasons. Anyway, Mdm Roch is among the most popular teachers with 2A, due to her endearing disposition and unique methods of teaching. We, as well as most of the Sec 2 cohort (I'm not really sure about the other levels), are almost always treated with multiple exits and re-entries - Mdm Roch is, well, one of the most lenient teacher - into the computer lab. Monday's lesson was no different...just that we became a little too unbearable for her. Many a time, a few (maybe more than that) goof about in her class. Mdm Roch usually graciously brushes them off and tries to ignore them. But as a rubber band snaps when it is strained far too much, so did Mdm Roch's temper on Monday. Exasperated, she had no choice but to raise her voice against us. Out and in we went (twice I think), listening to her complaints about our ungrateful behaviour. Some quotes:

"Who is that person?" - Such was her concern for us, her students.
"I refuse to teach this class, anymore!" - Our ungratefulness ached her - seriously we were wrong to do infuriate her in the first place.

It was with utmost regret when we were instructed to finish up Exercise 4, and it was a lesson well-learnt when we were late for registration for the Special Programmes electives. A good teacher should always be appreciated, and we only regret our actions when we realise the consequences of losing such a gracious teacher due to our own misbehaviour.

On a second note, maybe I'm suited for Literature next year. Dramatic irony is one of the most interesting literary devices.

Finally...some updates

2006-07-22T22:37:00.000+08:00

I haven't updated in the past two months (so happened that today's 22nd July). Time has not been a bountiful resource, and I owe it to my own procrastination and lack of proper relaxation time that the frequent posts have become anything but frequent. However, I can't possibly throw up everything that has happened since 22nd May, so I'll most likely break up everything into roughly 22 posts, excluding this one. Sounds quite a lot, but this is mainly due to the stagnation since the holidays - honestly, even though there's a lot of time to blog during the holidays, there's little content to write actually.

I've tried to incorporate some discussion-like topics as well. Even though this would violate the original intentions of this blog, I believe that it still shows what my thinking is at different points of time, how and also why it changes too, which is definitely essential in recording the history of my life. Here's a tentative list of posts to appear soon:

Malaysian Montage
myRIad (RI combined concert)
Holiday homework: What I have now, should there be any in the first place, pros and cons, the final compromise
CO Camp - inclusive of proposal
World Cup: experiences and effects on daily life, wide-ranging impacts
Critique of the Integrated Programme
Malaysian trip
Ethics of engaging in drug / GM food tests in people; albeit for money
RE experiment proceedings
Wrap-up of the June holidays, coming plans / hopes for the semester
Schoolwork and learning - synonymous? A philosophical standpoint on the issue of effective pedagogy
New teacher, new semester: a scholastic update
Failings of a student: Post-mortem of a poorly-spent holiday
After watching the class video 2006
RE proceedings
3rd Philosophical Discussion at RI
Sehsuk-gong's illness
Truth: When it's uncomfortable to tell it
Possible transfer to WordPress
Atrium performance for RI Open House
The thief of time: A true lesson from a certain History PT
Science quiz, Geography written assignment, AJC Mayor's Debating Series

Note the song Home in the background sung by Kit Chan...National Day 2006 is coming soon...

Recent updates prior to Malaysian Montage 2006

2006-05-22T19:27:00.000+08:00

It's been quite some time since I've strayed away from blogging, due to time constraints and a maddening hang-up of my PC last night...leading me to do up this last-minute entry before I set off for the Malaysian Montage 2006 tomorrow - which will be elaborated on later. Anyway, for the past three weeks since the end of the CTs, the post-CT experience has been anything but relaxing. As expected, all the workload started to flow in, beginning with the Science ramp that we somehow managed to fly by unscathed, and ending last Thursday with the introduction on a new PT for History to be done over the month-long holidays that will start next week. Some people (like Nigel) say that there's less homework to do this time round. To some extent, he's quite right, since Geography and Science practically didn't give new homework to do; yet, there has been a greater intensity of work to do over the holidays, as the quality demanded for the assignments, like the History and MSP assignments command more marks and greater width and depth in terms of scope covered, as opposed to high quantity of work. So much for a breather to brush up on my lousy Maths.

Academics

Speaking of which, my overall performance in academic terms has been disappointing (in my personal perspective, lest people complain). Firstly, English. Our CT paper was marked by Mrs Smith, one of the GE teachers with strict standards. So, it wasn't surprising that everyone averaged about 16-21 marks out of 30, which was initially quite shocking. I mean, RI boys are naturally inclined to get marks like 25 and above for an upon-30 test, and yet so many of us, SE and GE alike, scored so deficiently for the English comprehension and summary test. As for myself, I got 18. And as a result, my quite-good-looking CA mark of 82.9 still failed to push my final SA mark to 80 - I got 77 in the end. Bye bye English 4.0.

Then we go on to Chinese (HCL in my case). The paper was quite okay, but I admit that it was really too ambitious of me to aim for 91 marks out of 100, which would catapult me to a Chinese 4.0. In spite of my over-lofty aspirations for Chinese, I wasn't disappointed by a 75.5 mark in the end, since my prediction was so ridiculous. With a dubious CA of 75.4 (since Ms Heng said that there was something wrong with it - hopefully nothing too drastic), I think a SA of 76 will come out of it all.

Maths. Oh, what a bane. As most of the people in 2A (if not all) should know from reading through the score list being passed around the class last week, I got a measly 57+ for CA, which pulled down everything. This was due to a severe lack of practice with some far-off topics like Cartesian coordinates, leading to a few shameful failures here and there. Then, as a wee bit of consolation, perhaps, I got 31.5 out of 50 for the CT after 3-5 days of intense revision. At least I passed. The SA for this semester was 58, or 2.4. Pathetic.

Next, Science. This paper was a real shocker. Many of us were in the mentality that the paper would be 1 hour and 20 minutes long, in spite of Ms Tsang's frequent reminders that the paper would last one hour only. In addition, there were too many questions for us to undertake within an hour's time. Hence, out of 45 marks, most people actually failed the test, which includes me. I got 21 marks. The standards were so poor for our class that out of 33 people, only 6 people passed. All other 27 candidates failed the test. Yet, the tables were turned when the teachers decided to moderate the results such that the de jure standards would remain closer to previous years instead of becoming an ugly blemish in the records. As such, the marking standards were lowered, and the marks, out of 45, were changed to become out of 25. That is to say, for me, having received 21/45, it would be recorded as 21/25 instead, instantly giving me 84 percent instead of a failure. To me, it still sounds unfair to the GE side, and in a way, nullifying the sense of shame within those who did poorly for the test. It might work well for the records and also give a high SA for the students in the end, but psychologically speaking, it could prove damaging. In any case, with a CA of 81+, the SA was fortunately 83, giving me a GPA of 4.0. In spite of failing my Science CT...

History was not very well done. Mr Koh gave some clues to me about my poorer-than-average score two days before giving out the papers, and I already had a bad omen with regard to the structured question, which I only managed to answer halfway. My problem lay in the SEQ, where I only managed a L4/8-mark answer. Which meant that I only sufficiently explained the factors. Mr Koh also added that I didn't put in a key factor, since I answered in a different way. Any cross-examination of the paper was meaningless anyway, since it had already been vetted by other teachers as well. So I only received 17/25 for the History CT. Despite the lacklustre performance for the CT itself, my high CA (don't know how much actually) still managed to give me 86 for History overall. So you know what's my fave subject...

Geography. It was in vain, but out of 30, my poor time management has once again (yes, it's not the first time) made me suffer losses in marks during the Geography CT. The paper was unexpectedly long, but still manageable until the end, where I managed to answer halfway for the second-last question and thus throw away 4 marks at once. The end result was a 21.5 out of 30. It wasn't as high as I expected it to be, nor hoped it to be for me to maintain a 4.0 for Geography. Need to brush up on my time management skills!

Finally, the MSP CT. It was rather well-executed, even when the test was conducted on the day we were informed of the date of the test itself - in other words, an impromptu one. Maybe leniency was advocated because of the time constraints that the students faced. Also, the paper set was 1.5 hours long, and consisted of filling in the blanks and a short essay writing. Not exactly taxing, but still, the composition-writing part was challenging. I managed to scrape by with 25/30 for the paper, and the oral test that followed on Thursday (where I was unfortunately chosen as the first one) rounded up quite well too. In total I got 86/100.

So, with a paranomic view of the 7 academic disciplines, you should roughly know how poorly I fared (GPA 3.54 - great leap backward from a previous 3.8). This goes to show what kind of damage not practising Maths constantly could pose, and also the detriments of not knowing how to prioritise objectives. Argh...so much more to catch up...Oh yes, the NAPFA test as well. As usual, I barely scraped past everything but for the flaming standing board jump. 32 sit-ups (lousy), 8 inclined pull-ups (lousy), 46 cm for sit and reach (ok), 11.3 s for shuttle run (heng) and 14:06 for the 2.4 run (lousy too), all of which gave me a pass. Except for the crowning "achievement" of the standing board jump of 165 cm. So depressing. Looks like I've to train up throughout the coming holidays - in consideration of my already-packed schedule, for the retest in July. Good luck to myself.

myRIad preparations

Enough said about depressing academic stuff. In the post-CT period, the real work has begun (the CTs are actually more relaxing than normal school days - so much slacking about and doing nothing but mugging and revising fervently). Firstly, the upcoming RI Musical Groups Combined Concert (myRIad) which has been advertised on my blog. Intense preparation has begun since week 8, where practice has been escalated to 3 to 4 times a week. The real thing itself will happen at the Esplanade Concert Hall on the 28th of May, 2006. Which means that I will have only 2 days to brush up after the Malaysian Montage. And the prospect of screwing up on stage. Hmm.

Malaysian Montage 2006

Which leads back to the upcoming MM (Malaysian Montage), commencing tomorrow. I have been grouped under Malacca, under Mr Kenneth Low (yes) and Mrs Aileen Chor (yes) with Joseph and Dagong from 2A, and also friendly faces like Jaren and Bryan (6G'04). Come tomorrow, 6.30 a.m., I'll be away from Singapore for the next 4 days. The strange thing is that, instead of groupings by class, the rationale has been to acquaint Sec 2s from different classes to prepare ourselves for re-integration in Sec 3 next year. There's some logic to it, but I still have a lingering thought that class groupings would be more fun, especially under Ms Tsang, who will be leaving soon. So much for some farewell trip...in any case though, I have also been tasked to write on the MM for some post-MM publication under Mr Kelvin Yap, together with Ben Yong. Looking forward to the trip all the same...

June holidays - vacation plans, etc.

The next 4 short weeks will be about work, work and more work to up my less-than-satisfactory results for the Semester 1 SA. Maths practice, NAPFA practice, CO practice and maybe a 2A and a 6G gathering or two might fortunately come by in the course of the next few weeks. And perhaps the occasional book and computer game. As for overseas vacations, Papa and Mummy have been undergoing much stress, due to the uncertainty of the Japan trip that we originally planned to take for the upcoming holidays. There had to be a minimum of 15 people in the tour package, and up till two weeks before departure, there were still only 6 out of the 15, which included the 4 people in my family. Expectedly, the trip was cancelled, and the parents have decided to go for a short getaway in Sunway Lagoon, Malaysia. Sort of heard that this is a water-based theme park...looking forward to it as well.

NUS Geography Challenge (training)

Today, taking the opportunity of a free day (in celebration of the tennis team's double gold victory), the humanities teachers held a training session with the participating upper Sec team in preparation of the NUS Geography Challenge. Hence, in order to spar with them, I, with Nigel and Kevin (two other Sec 2s) joined in as well. It was a very tiring experience today (for me specifically - carrying a cumbersome slingbag and water bottle, and in school uniform to boot), where we had to travel from NUS LT12 to Hong Lim Food Centre, then the Esplanade, then the Marina City Park and finally in the inner heartlands of Punggol, in a Amazing Race-styled competition between the two sparring teams. There were some clues to pick and some rather strange activities (charades in public, anyone?) along each checkpoint, and only public buses, MRT and LRT transport were allowed, other than on foot. In an amazing (no pun intended) twist, we managed to get to the final place quicker - all with the help of Mr Yuen, a coordinator. The exact reason why, I was forced not to say it. Apart from a pair of tired legs, I ended up dehydrated and hungry after the morning activity. Worth trying again next time though...

Ms Tsang's departure / Mrs Seow's maiden name

On a sadder note, the 2A FT1, Ms Tsang, has elected to leave RI at the end of May, as said in some previous entry. It was so similar to Mrs Koh's departure last year - both teachers were transferring out of RI to teach in another Raffles school. Which one exactly, I'm not sure, but the thing is it seems quite fated for her to leave us, since Ms Tsang was not actually supposed to be the 2A FT, as she said last week, as with Mrs Koh's leaving from teaching the upper Sec to teach the Sec 1s last year. Anyway, Chen Chen and Jong Hyun have embarked on producing a farewell video for Ms Tsang, just like the commemorative one they did for Mrs Koh's last year. In any case, good luck to Ms Tsang in her new environment next semester...her teaching will become but a cherished memory in 2A's heart(s)! Also, in an email with Ms Tsang regarding the transfer of the RE mentor for the upcoming semester, the new FT for 2A will be someone called Ms Liew LP.

Mrs Seow's heritage has been an issue of contention for the past month or so, with some dubious rumours circulated around the class. I figure that this is a matter of her privacy, just like the hidden truths that everyone has, and would not like to expose to the public. And why the fuss about it? It's quite meaningless after all, since the answer has no use. (and by the way, the answer in on the Internet).

A tribute to the CTs

2006-05-06T11:58:00.000+08:00

The CTs have finally gone by rather peacefully with the exception of the Science paper, where virtually no one had time to finish the paper within one hour. How can 20 full questions on Chemistry and Physics be crammed in one hour? As far as I know only two people from 2A managed to finish the paper. That is, by rushing through everything. As for me, I had at least 2 questions here and there that were unanswered. And apparently Ms Tsang doesn't seem too happy at the CT papers which she has been marking. Fortunately moderation of marks is in progress...and I guess I'll need some serious moderation to my less-than-satisfactory projected marks for this semester's Science. The other papers, on the other hand, have been smooth-sailing, except some questions here and there (specifically Geography, History and Maths) where I stil couldn't finish everything. I need to work on my time management skills.

So now, the CTs are over. Come to think of it, week 7 - the CT week, has been relaxing on the whole, ironically speaking. This idea was propagated by a classmate of mine...and it really does make some sense. During the CT week, CCAs are suspended for one thing. So Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays are free, just for the sake of sitting down and studying hard-core. Then RI students are excused from 3rd language. Plus the fact that you can leave straight home right after your last paper (when it comes to Science and Maths it means going to school at 7 and returning home at 9 plus in the morning - such a good chance to slack about hardly comes by, provided that you have studied, that is). So why not appreciate the beauty and practicality of the common tests? No nonsensical homework to hand in, no PTs to hand in, no projects to bother with your proper revision...seriously, apart from the school holidays, the CT week is really one of relaxation instead of examination jitters and hard-core revision. PROVIDED that your revision itself is up to mark. Actually, I didn't even really revise for this CT. Hopefully it doesn't show up in my report. With the hassle of CTs over, now real work begins again. Already by this coming Monday we need to vet our Science ramp, which for our group, has been perfunctorily taken care of. And RE. And NAPFA test to boot. But at least it's back to the old hectic lifestyle again.

And Singapore votes today.

Point of Information (on recent updates)

2006-04-27T20:24:00.000+08:00

It's been days since I last posted, which I consider a respite heavy enough to take before updating once again. This has been accentuated by the fact that the piling workload is finally setting in, and I hardly have time to go online for most of the past seven or eight days. Until now, that is.

Anyway, the highlight of last week was the Headmaster's Tea on Monday afternoon, for which I mercilessly cut off CO practice to attend. And this policy has become too common in the past few weeks, since the house events, extra-co-curricular and extra-academic events (my own terms) have purged me of my remaining time to cope well with homework and CCA, leading to decreasing sleeping hours day by day. In any case, the Headmaster himself didn't come for the tea session because of some China trip with the other Raffles principals, apparently away for an advertising campaign for the so-called Raffles Synergy (harks back daunting memories of the RI/RGS promotion assignment last year). I don't think the focus of that trip would be to acknowledge the copious amount of tests and assignments that plague us...but they should be discerning enough. Apparently during the tea session Jaren was not discerning enough - playing with sugar...apparently it wasn't his intention to come for the thing. Ashamedly, I was also guilty of that fact...

So, in place of the absented HM, Mrs Tan, the Deputy Headmistress (first one most in RI would have encountered so far), was tasked to undertake the role of the HM for that tea session. A rather personable teacher, Mrs Tan engaged the discussion relatively well by abandoning the steering wheel of the dialogue to the group of Sec 2 students present. We discussed issues from curricular disputes on the validity of 3rd language in the GPA to apparently pointless topics such as ankle socks and hair length. As expected, these minor discussions generally didn't work out well, nor was anything really achieved. Rather, more technical issues like traffic problems in RI had significant outcomes, for instance, there was mention that something would be done about the horrendous traffic situation in and out of RI. A more candid account of the tea is available on Jaren's blog though.

Earlier this week, I learnt of my very depressing Maths CA score in comparison with the likes of the Maths whizzes (whom I distinctly remember achieved 93.7% - you should know who you are if you're reading this), which was unfortunately a score that I cringe at the bare mention of it. I really need to have a serious shake-up for the rest of this week to regain former levels, at most a score of 69.9 for the semester, which would then garner me a bare pass to 3.6 for Maths. The notion of taking tuition is now approaching closer to reality, now that my parents (especially Pa) have vehemently expressed their disdain. My mother is still rather on the benign side, fortunately, and if I manage to gloss over the CTs with getting a high mark for Maths, then there will not be any chance for tuition. Resolution for late April - May: get 67-69.9% for Maths at the end. To add on to my temporary misery over the dysfunctional academic results so far, Tuesday's Geography time-based assignment was well done - save for the last question worth 6 whole marks, where I could possibly lose all 6 due to some postulated fatal error. I'll have to pray that the best comes out of that test...I need a 17/20 to get the bare minimum of 80% for CA. Or risk a 14/20 that would result in a score barely a sniff away from GPA 4.0 for the Geography CA.

Now, on to the NEWater trip yesterday for the Learning Journeys Day programme. Basically a whole 50-minute portion of the 3 hour trip was devoted to the bus trip towards the Kranji NEWater plant. The journey there was pretty fun, and as quoted from Jong Hyun's blog, it was a "class-bonding" experience. Strangely though, I have this tendency to firstly, talk about mundane things such as past holiday destinations on the bus, and secondly, to fervently take down notes from the video and from the host's words in a bid to win prizes at the end of the event. The latter practice has somehow been ingrained in my mentality since the beginning of this year (partly because of my inclination towards the Singaporean culture of "kiasuism"). The class was also less patronizing of Mrs Chor, the main organiser for the NEWwater excursion programme, and even candidly greeted her many times over...and much to the ire of Ms Tsang and Mrs Seow.

On the other hand, there were two events that have marred this week - Ms Goh's beration of the class for unruly behaviour and Cikgu Saripah's frustrations regarding 2X. Monday. CLE lesson. There was no teacher in sight during that fateful hour. What was to be expected of a group of rowdy 14-year-old boys with nothing but restlessness in their minds? Noise, the occasional "taupok" (colloquial term for a session violent group humping) and boisterous chatter that would punctuate the classroom. Apparently it was loud enough and violent enough for Ms Goh, a music teacher doing her rounds in the Sec 2 classes during CLE, to take notice. 2A was then lashed down for unruly behaviour that was utterly beyond the pale, and this news leaked out to the FTs, who amplified the clear message behind it all - stop making unnecessary noise and moving about, loitering around when teachers are not around. True, in theory, we would be obliged to make the correct decisions when authority is absent to check us. Yet, in practice, nobody (even bystanders included) has the self-control to limit his behaviour. I have no idea how the situation is going to improve, with the advent of the "Happy Hour", an exaggerated variation of the original "taupok".

Cikgu Saripah, the MSP teacher in RI, has repeatedly expressed her frustrations with 2X, which has been nothing but noise and disrespect for her culture. I totally emphatise with her predicament. Yes, she has the obligation to keep the boys interested in Malay, but her repeated attempts to do so and to retain her self-respect have not been reciprocated. There were two shoutings in class when she vented her anger appropriately, which I guess a bunch of disrespectful 2Xers (e.g. Shu Kiat who riled against her for his torn CCT paper, which was totally unacceptable) genuinely deserved. Her kind and light-hearted approach to learning has evidently not struck a chord with us pampered RI boys. Seriously, RI boys are in need for disciplinary treatment...sometimes the situation is so extreme that we modern RI boys hardly fit in with the perfect model of the Rafflesian. Should we discipline ourselves in such a way?

Oh, and I will be setting up a new blog distinct from the nature of the Repository. It will focus more on specialised content that I will be blogging about, for instance, my philosophical musings and psychological / sociological analyses among others...sounds quite boring from the perspective of a Sec 2 right? The URL will be posted soon.

ACJC Geography Quiz and Maths CCT

2006-04-11T22:59:00.000+08:00

The ACJC Geography quiz last Wednesday. Yes. Raffles Institution managed to defend her title again...but I genuinely feel that the questions given were relatively on par with our level, apart from previously unknown terms like "Lee's model of migration" and so on. But it wasn't that which shocked me. Rather, I was appalled by the wafer-thin margin by which RI won the competition, and also the numerous mistakes and unforgivable factual error that occurred in the process of questioning the contestants.

It was a tense moment for the four top schools competing against each other in the final round. There were four Southeast Asian nations for the participants from each school to select a question to answer. The questions available for these different countries ranged from levels 1 to 6, in increasing order of difficulty. Also, a correct answer for say, level 6 question, will award the team +6 marks, whereas an erroneous reply would result in a corresponding -6 marks. This also went the same for the other levels of questions. Anyway, the air-conditioner in the ACJC was cold, but there was something in the air that kept everyone from dozing off in the strong thermostat. Then it started. After 2 or 3 rounds of rapid fire, SJI, if I remember correctly, was on the lead with 2 points, following which was RI. As the teachers-in-charged have noticed, the SJI cohort this year for the Humanities quizzes held by various junior colleges have proven to be a force to be reckoned with. For instance, the VJC Humanities quiz resulted in SJI at top position, with RI being the runners-up. However, this time it was HCI.

So there we experienced waves of trepidation when difficult or strangely-expressed questions were flashed on the screen. Many a time we were worrying that RI could lose out (the 1 or 2 points behind HCI being the case), and the occasional challenging question that we assumed was too hard for the onstage team to answer. Fortunately, they were sufficiently prepared...and through shrewd strategising, we managed to overcome the other teams. Actually it was the strategies that worked for us, rather than a test of our knowledge. Because the other teams were too engrossed in attempting the high-weightage questions to easily attain a high score (being too confident), they ended up with negative scores, whilst slow-plodding RI managed to keep afloat and gradually gain higher marks.

There was also an issue, stemming from Kevin (of 2J)'s comments, that I deemed tactless but also quite true on one point. The chance of going upstage to represent RI could actually have been people other than Nigel and Brian, but it just happened that the teacher-in-charge had more experience working with them, and thus logically put them in. She had explained this to us...but apparently till the end it didn't go very well with Kevin, for he clamoured about his non-representation for RI in the Geography quiz. In the end, we were still accorded the same credit, as the ACJC side was willing to make more medals for the rest of the team. Were we too materialistic?

Enough said about the Geography quiz...what was more distressing today was the Maths CCT. Few people in our class managed to complete the paper, save for the Maths whizzes who only complained about missing out the bonus questions. As for me, someone with deficient practice and understanding in Maths, I barely scraped through the test. It has almost become something that I dread, but is becoming more and more acceptable as I grow more convinced about my weakness for Maths. Yes, I did answer the paper fully...but what matters more is the quality and accuracy of the answers.

Sigh. I guess I'll really need tuition during the June holidays.

2006-04-04T22:36:00.000+08:00

Finally. Some free time to blog about the things that have happened.

As it turned out, much to my personal distress, I was mistaken for Sean Lim of another Sec 2 class. How could this have happened? For one, I thought my name already stuck out enough for people to remember significantly. But apparently the harder to pronounce a name, the longer it takes for one to remember it. Bleargh. The bittersweetness of having a special name.

Or so I thought. This could have been a blessing in disguise - to realise that I was mistaken on Friday, before the Saturday quiz at NUS Political Science faculty. Because of this incident, I (and Nigel) half-guessed that Mrs Ong reciprocated the mistake made by signing me on for the Wednesday ACJC Geography Quiz (yay!). Rather than find out on the day itself at school, when you're mentally and physically set for the quiz, and perhaps also lose the chance of getting in for the subsequent quiz...a blessing really.

Week 3 so far has been worse than I foresaw at the end of last week. Take today for example. Right from the second period earlier this morning, all the way until 7 in the evening, I had to endure the scare of going through six so-called tests in a row. Six. Chinese composition competition (a test in my sense), then Geography quiz, then Philosophy dialogue observation, then RE experiment (I think it can be counted), New South Wales computer studies quiz, and finally debating observation for U-14 tournaments and so on. A most exhilarating experience that left me half-dead when I reached home at 8.30 p.m. I think my previous record was 8.45 p.m. And I slept at 1.30 a.m. early this morning.

I'll have to go back to mugging for tomorrow's ACJC Geography quiz - hope we can defend the RI title...

Am I piling too much on myself?

On to the debates session today. After the New South Wales computer studies test, I was actually reluctant to stay back further for anything beyond 5 p.m. It wasn't as if I had a lot of homework, but there was the ACJC quiz the following day, and I was already rather worn out from the tests that ran through the whole day.

Then I saw Gerald (of 2H) curled up in a corner of the library, reading some ridiculous book. Then we started debating about similarly-themed stuff, i.e. "This house believes that the illustration on the cover of this book is ugly." Which was our common point, since both of us are in Raffles Debaters. (And I unabashedly acknowledge his higher skills of articulation.)

As what I expected, as a junior (in relation to skills), I queried him on the next training for the day. It was today...and rumoured to be the final chance for us juniors to present ourselves to the mock adjudicators our skills, for the U-14 competitions. As mentioned before, I'm one who excessively piles unnecessary assignments and obligations on top of the pile that I have already accumulated.

So, I stayed back from 5 p.m. onwards, where Shengwu (the coach) allocated those who were present the motion "This house refuses to trade with pollutive countries", where I was the reply speaker for the opposition side. It was fairly okay until the debate started. Everything was going at an alarming rate. I couldn't pay attention to the prop and even the opp's speeches...it was totally nerve-wracking. And as the reply speaker I was supposed to do just that - focus the most on the clashes and arguments between the two sides of the house, and come up with something convincing to shake the audience (and most importantly, the adjudicators).

By the time the 2 minutes were up for reserve speakers and all members of house to discuss with me as to what was to be said, the real panic set in. Somehow the first-time jitters are so strong that everything that you prepare for just disappears into thin air. Your mind slips into oblivion. Then you see everyone else gazing at you, motioning for you to speak. The worst thing is, you were so confident of doing a good speech, nothing like that was actually anticipated. This - was what happened to me. And so a few moments of silence passed while I gathered my thoughts back.

And so I opened my mouth. The first point passed. Well, good. Go on, I jogged myself along. Second point. Yes, done. Slowly, with the gathering of points back into the mind, the confidence level built up once more and I gradually built up momentum...

Yet I fumbled towards the end. The policy advocated by the proposition...there was a contradiction they made...where was it in the notes? Then I started speaking - but I didn't know how to end properly. Again an unnatural silence glides over the room. Stone silence. If only RI was like that most of the time.

Shengwu then told me to move on - the time was up anyway, and thus I hastily ended with the "Go with the opposition" protocol. I was a major screw-up today for debates...but almost everyone suffered from a similarly humiliating experience. Then everyone else was so supportive, applauding with gusto and giving their thumbs up. I thought that it was so hypocritical...providing support was one thing - but overly doing so? Maybe it's good to build up a strong confidence level first, before moving on to higher-order arguments in future. Hopefully such jitters can be eradicated by the time I'm in Sec 3.

Sigh. My first debating experience. Rather tasteful.

2006-03-30T22:59:00.000+08:00

Sigh...at this crucial moment of Term 2 I actually fell sick. Now I'm down with stomach flu and some mild diarrhoea. What a time to fall sick.

See, it's the second week of term now. So it equates to a much more hectic week than before. Workload is catching up with me, and now it's time to stop slacking...(not many people know that I give in to slacking - I'm human after all, remember?)

Which reminds me of the almost-disastrous maths topical assessment earlier today during maths. As usual, I came close to flunking the assessment, even though I was clear about how to do the questions, just that all my answers seem to be different from others. I can't do "completing the square" properly, since I so stupidly chose to leave the equation hanging halfway while I combated the other questions. There goes 1 to 3 marks right away. So, I'm not pinning any hopes of return for this TA...how did I convince myself that I'd do well? Seriously, I need much, much more maths practice.

As mentioned before, the workload is gradually piling up. Philosophy essay (worth 40%, mind you), Chinese research report on Singaporean botany, the History assignment to interview ancestors (possible? I think not.) and Animal Farm roleplaying. RE experiment is going to start soon, we should start going to the laboratory from next week, plus the RE literature review...and many more that I'd rather not cite here. Whew. And I thought the Week 5 CTs were still far away.

On the other hand, I was accepted for the Chancellor's Challenge Humanities Quiz (hooray!). Now that'd add on to the mugging that I'll have to do for the next two, no, one day for the quiz on Saturday. And I have the ACJC Geography Quiz on Wednesday...

On a more melancholic note, Ms Tsang announced that she would be leaving RI for good in June. Up till now, no one has any idea about why she decided so. Sigh...it always seems that our FTs always desert our class. Is it because of our misdemeanor? Or pure coincidence? Beck, Chen Chen and Han Qiao are going to do the commemorative video again (as we did for Mrs Koh). All the best to her anyway...

To quote Ms Foong (6G 2004 form teacher):

Change is the only constant.

And The Outsiders:

Stay gold...

2006-03-25T15:52:00.000+08:00

With the beginning of the new term, my previous bids to join the Raffles Debaters and for the RevComm reciprocated within the first few days of the term. After last week's speech in front of the panel of judges, somehow my ludicrously-given speech managed to pass through unwittingly and I got into the Raffles Debaters. Perhaps people who came after me were of a lower standard than I expected...must have been disastrous for them.

Anyway, as a fledgling member of the debating team, I was, of course, obliged to support the A division team, who were making a great effort for the quarter-finals of the JG Debating Championships yesterday. RI was up against Methodist Girls', and the motion of the day was "this house believes that I-can should hand control of the Internet to the United Nations". We were the proposition. It should have been easy to win - logical and factual favours were much on our side.

Raffles Institution lost.

It was a difficult decision for the judging panel for the quarter-finals. Or so they say, since Ashish (one of the debating trials finalists) identified numerous factual errors on the part of the MGS team. We were so confident and full of winning. But we were wrong. Our third speaker so-called "pussyfooted" (no pun intended) the questions posed by the MGS team (their second speaker) and only focused on strengthening our main points. That was the killer.

And our A division team was composed fully of Sec 4s. That would mean that the quarter-finals were the final chance for our Sec 4s to win something for Raffles Institution, in their capacity as RI boys arguing for RI.

As the MGS debaters and supporters screamed boisterously in their ultra high-pitched voices (as girls would, I think), it was all anguish and disappointment for us. Even the judges were actually sympathetic to our side. We could have made it - with our better introduction and leading arguments. And we still lost.

Enough about the debating championships. I was accepted into the RevComm (Review Committee) for the upcoming Prefectorial Elections. It was exactly as how I envisioned it to be - a serious discussion for detecting the inherent flaws of the current system and improving on good points, subsequently concluding in Week 6 with a formal report on problems and proposed solutions, feasible for implementation. As far as I take it, we are going to decide how candidates are to be selected. So here's more work for the coming weeks...

Within these three days (from the beginning of Term 2), the workload leftover from the holidays has greatly decreased to only 3 easy things for this weekend...some real rest after all. It's pretty ironic, I think, for the holidays to be so chockful of work and school events, then when the new term begins, I find it much more easy to cope. Perhaps I work better in stress.

2006-03-22T20:02:00.000+08:00

Yes, the holidays have ended. And it's a return to the hectic working lifestyle once more...

The homework hasn't piled up yet, but I still have leftovers from the holidays to complete. So the first few days is going to be spent on wrapping up these pieces of homework before going on to the main agenda of the new term. Needless to say, I'll be struggling by the end of this week.

Today was the Philosophy CCT. I didn't prepare for it, but neither did the other classmates who were busy "chiong-ing" the humongous workload. During recess I took a glance at the notes and worksheets and had a sort of basic grasp before the Art period - where everybody basically made noise and did very little.

An old boy teacher came in way before the class returned to the classroom to stand in for Ms Tsang, who left early for something else. The test itself was rather simple in context, in the sense that the teacher Mr Low had gone through the scenario some times over already, but the questions asked were wide in scope and there was a lot of explanation to do for the answers. The test ended up rather like History...I expect so, since these were social science subjects that require argumentative skills. Speaking of which, I got 15/15 for the History CCT...not to show off again.

Back to work again...

Lack of time in March holidays...

2006-03-15T19:57:00.000+08:00

I think I'm suffering from attention deficiency disorder, since for the past few days of the holidays I just can't seem to concentrate on doing something and getting it done quickly. Occasionally I just put down whatever work I have at hand and turn on the television, or walk around and eat something, or play the computer. Time is really flowing out of my hands now...Then I've got a RE meeting that I myself organised to complete the literature review and prepare for laboratory work...and till now I haven't even done any research for it. What a lousy leader I am. And I keep missing out basic maths concepts when I attempt to do the maths worksheets given by the relief teacher Miss Toh.

I went for the second round of debating trials on Monday, and the good news was that I thought it should have been on Tuesday. How incredibly stupid of me not to check the noticeboard earlier. Naturally I was flustered for the first 3, 4 hours before the trials. I actually suffered some stomach trouble in school...that further deterioriated the situation.

However, I think I reacted fine to the trials, and gave a half-time speech of about 2.1 minutes...out of a possible 4 minutes. Isn't that marvellous? Content-wise I would have suffered (even though the panel of judges reiterated that we didn't need to follow the full 4 minutes). Also, during the mock rebuttal that the panel posed to me, I was further cut back by hesitating a little before conveying what I had to say to the panel...I'll most probably not pass through the second round. Unless a miracle happens though.

Actually, why did I join the debating trials altogether? All along I can speak somewhat eloquently; some teachers have commented on my ability to twist around ideas and communicate effectively; but to debate? I have absolutely no idea on that. My parents egged me on to try out, and there was a sort of an interest in debating in me all along - hence the trials.

Well, the March holidays have been monotonous so far...apart from the debating trials (hardly call that exciting...nerve-wracking more like it). No 6G gatherings, 2A gatherings or planned leisure activities in the holidays at all. I guess one week isn't enough...

Here's something from Jie Ying:

1. Initials: WJS. I use it all the time - look at the page title.
2. Name someone with the same birthday as you: Antonio Vivaldi, Italian composer (born 1678)
3. Last thing you ate: 老火汤 (Old Fire soup at a Cantonese restaurant)
4. For or against same sex marriage: I have no idea...from the the moral philosophy, almost all theories contradict each other.
5. Are you homophobic: No. Though they're different in orientation, it is not something to be bothered with.
6. Do you still watch cartoons on Saturday morning?: No time.
7. Do you believe in God: Not really. I'm agnostic.
8. How many U.S states have you been to: None.
9. How many of the U.S states have you lived in: Look at the above.
10. Ever lived outside of the US: Look above the above.
11. Name something you like physically about yourself: Not overweight??
12. Something non-physical you like about: Intellect and concern for the society. And humanities.
13. What is your dads name: WCM. Initials only.
14. What is your dream car: Thrust 2 - fastest in the world...haha.
15. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go? : Jiangnan - around 苏州 and 上海, experience the Chinese culture there.
16. Favourite type of food? : Cantonese cuisine. It seriously is the best in the world.
17. Favorite holiday: Chinese New Year.
18. Do you download music: Yes, a few only. Usually for Chinese orchestral practice, listening pleasure.
19. What illegal things have you done: The above, forgery of signature - that's true. But the matter has been owned up to. So don't report me.
20. Where would you want to go on a first date: The Esplanade, Science Centre, blah.
21. Would you date the person who posted this before you?: No way. (someone else's already - 6G people should know)
22. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally: No.
23. Have you ever cried for no reason: Yes, when my eyes are sore after looking at the comp for too long.
24. Do you like Bush: No, because of his security policies that do not have a positive impact on the American economy, causing the rise of terrorism and extremism...
25. Have you ever bungee jumped: No.
26. Have you ever white-water rafted: No.
27. Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you?: No.
28. Last person you hugged: Myself.
29. Have you met a real redneck: No. What's that?
30. How is the weather right now: Can't see a thing - it's nighttime.
31. Song you are listening to right now: Haydn's Cello Concerto in C major - Finale
32. What are your current fav songs?: 不要对他说
33. What was the last movie you watched?: Pay It Forward
34. Do you wear contacts: No. Neither do I want to - the ReNu wash causes eye problems.
35. Where was the last place you went besides your house?: The Cantonese restaurant.
36. What are you afraid of?: Failing maths again, effects of global warming surfacing
37. OOOOH: RICO performs in my house...and ABBA reunites.
38. How many pets do you have: 16 - 16 fish
39. Have you ever loved someone: Yes.
40. What really turns you on: A cup of extra strong coffee. Espresso or simple kopi-o.
41. What do you usually order from Starbucks: Nothing. Except the pamplet that says that they pay fair wages to coffee farmers.
42.Have you ever fired a gun: Yes, in a tryout shooting range.
43. Are you missing someone: Mrs J Koh? (for the uninitiated, she's the FT2 of 1A last year)
44. Say something totally random about yourself: I want to learn the cello.
45. Do you have an ipod?: No.
46. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celeb? : No. But people call me the Professor.
47. Whats your mom's name: LSL, again, initials only.
48. Who would you like to see right now: My mother regarding maths.
49. Favorite band of all time (only ONE): ABBA.
50. Dogs or cats: Fish.
51. Have you ever been caught doing something you weren't supposed to be doing? : Yes, when I was tinkering with someone else's cello and tripped over it.
52. Favorite flower: None as yet, but leaning to jasmine.
53. Butter, plain, or salted popcorn: None.
54. What books are you reading: A lot. Genetics: An introduction to heredity, Fabric of the Cosmos, State of Fear (by Michael Crichton), A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson
55. Have you ever ridden in a limo: No.
56. Has anyone you were really close to passed away? : No.
57. Do you watch MTV: No. I watch Discovery.
58. What's something that really bugs you: A laggy computer.
59. What are some things you really like doing: Playing the zhongruan, slacking, reading physics and history.
60. 9? +5 and that's my age.
61. Can you dance: Awkwardly.
62. Favorite basketball team: I watch Discovery.
63. Favorite cereal: Koko Krunch - Honey Stars tastes horrible (to me, at least).
64. Do you drive? : 9+5 and that's my age.
65. What's the latest you have ever stayed awake: The full 24-hour day.
66. Last time you went bowling: Never did.
67. Were you ever rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room? : 9 years ago, when I had an asthma attack.
68. Who was your last phone call?: Aaron (from my RE group)
69. Last time you were at work: 9+5 and that's my age.
70. Whats your favorite state to be in: Singapore! Seriously the best place to live in (political and civil safety, varied local culture although some say there's none)

2006-03-11T15:57:00.000+08:00

The March holidays have officially begun...now I have more time to finish up all the pieces of homework and projects that have spilled over from the previous term. Seriously, without the i-Learning week, there would be less time to accomplish much or rest well enough before the second term begins again. To attain my targets of preparing for NAPFA, for debates, for at least 1/2 a day of leisure activities on one day of the holidays, I'm going to need a whole lot of conviction and self-control to restraint myself from giving in to other distractions. Or I'll have absolutely no time to relax.

The NAPFA test for RI should be in early April, and as far as I'm concerned I am totally unprepared for it - except for the 2.4 km run, for which I clocked about 14 minutes, up from 15.5 minutes previously. I am seriously lousy at this kind of physical stuff, aside from a manageable 2.4, 30+ sit-ups and a 43 cm for sit and reach, my other stations are going to suffer if I don't put in any practice during the March holidays.

Returning to updates for this week. It was the interhouse sports meet finals yesterday, and Buckley did quite well with sportsmen like Desmond and Han Qiao (from 2A), but not well enough. Despite the effort put in by a small bunch of concerned Sec 4s that formed the EXCO, there was still a disproportionate turnout rate, where the rest of the apathetic upper secondary students left early or did not even turn out, and a sluggish lower secondary cohort were reluctant to spend hours waiting for events to end. It was a depressing sight. The Hullettians seemed to rub it in by cheering boisterously, while other respective houses grossly outnumbered Buckley representatives on the track. Like last year. I fear that the image of "loser house" has been cast into the mould of Buckley.

Right after the sports meet, I met up with Ashish, Brandon and Victor from 2D to wait for the rest of the debating team to set off for North Vista Secondary School for the Julia Gabriel Debating Championships. As half-members we were expected to support the main team as they battled head-to-head (or should I say mouth-to-mouth) with other secondary schools in the competition. Much to our chagrin, though, the others had left without us even when it was agreed to meet before setting off for the venue. The four of us had stupidly wasted half and hour waiting for the rest to arrive. Fortunately we took a cab to the place and arrived on the dot.

The debating competition was an eye-opener to me. Debates were being held stimultaneously everywhere in the school campus. I also managed to learn the rudiments of debating effectively, debating ethics and the knowhow of carrying oneself in front of the aloof panel of judges. Motions of the first debate was "this house believes that music, art and drama should be made compulsory subjects" and for the second one, "this house believes that charity work should be imposed on secondary school students". It was a unanimous decision that the RI teams won for both debates. That's the power of articulation.

Sigh...I doubt anyone's going to plan any gathering for the holidays...

2006-03-09T20:34:00.000+08:00

What a relief...the March holidays are nearing, and soon the much-needed respite from hectic school life will be all mine...

Although I'm not so sure about the so-called "rest, relaxation and recuperation" that could possibly arise from the upcoming holidays. Well, at least there'll be no lessons, that's one down, and I'd have time to do more interesting things. But I still can't run away from constantly revising and practising the flaming Maths that I flunked. And the piles of homework that teachers are still going to push on with. How much can I do in 9 days?

On to papers this week. On the whole it has been a great disappointment. I couldn't find enough time to revise properly for Chinese and Malay, so expectedly both papers will not be well-received. Time management problem recurring again. I guess I should be getting a low pass or a roughly average mark for both papers this time.

I didn't have time to go back to Yangzheng on 6/3/2006 for the centennial celebrations, though my sister didn't mention it, and I expect none of us old Yangzhengnites actually had the time or conviction to skip CCA and 3rd Language for the sake of Yangzheng. Regrettably I acknowledge myself as being one of them. I guess only Shu Mei, who professed to go back, went to take part in the celebrations.

Well, back to my homework before it spills into my free March holidays...

2006-03-04T00:49:00.000+08:00

Happy birthday...to me!

Actually the day that I would sometimes rather it be forgotten. With the passing of each year accelerating, I have this sort of reflection on how little I've gained physiologically and pschologically as I age year by year. Relax, relax. I think I'm too paranoid. Nevertheless, today remains the favourite day of the year. After all your birthday doesn't strikes twice in a year, so why shy away from it? It's a vaild cause for celebration.

I can't believe though, that my parents actually suggested inviting classmates to celebrate my birthday. I mean, it's not that it was a bad idea or them being overly concerned, but at my state of workload (and many other peers as well), and my age group, hardly anyone would have the time, let alone have the tendency to celebrate their birthdays in such a fashion. Maybe in future (perhaps rather distant future) I would consider this.

However, I did receive so-called impromptu presents from my parents, which included the zhongruan that I recently bought (regular visitors should know) and the science book "A Short History of Nearly Everything" by Bill Bryson. I didn't really expect presents for this year, since for previous years I neither demanded nor was given any birthday presents. A good change for this year...

Now, on to declarations of academic matters. The History CCT on Tuesday was rather acceptable for my standard, especially since the question I randomly posed to myself (What was the politcal implication of the Anglo-Dutch treaty on the Malay Archipelago?) actually turned up in the paper...perhaps I can read teachers' minds...I am rather confident of scoring for this paper (range >12/15) for the paper. Maybe I'll replace that with hopefully.

Science Practical. The talk of the day. If I had closely adhered to the instructions and almost-explicit clues that Ms Tsang gave during the preparation lesson, the practical could have been easy. But I had to screw up during the Science practical. I put the dropper directly into the bench bottles, to the infuriation of Ms Tsang, and I didn't even test the gas evolved with limewater...hence I didn't deduce what the gas was. There's a high chance of failing this test horribly. I wonder how I am going to do lab work for RE in future. Mark range should be about 2-6 marks upon 10. Hopes for the best...

2A received the English comprehension CCT today during Mrs Seow's lesson. As far as I know other classes received it way ahead of us, but no matter. I don't mean to brag, but for the sake of recording it in the CROWJS, I got 18/25 marks for the test, above the average score of 15-16 marks (a rough guess). Highest in the class. Definitely a welcome present for my birthday!

What's left now would be the Malay CCT, which Cikgu Saripah would definitely mark stringently, and the Chinese CCT on Wednesday. Then I'd have to rush through revision during the coming weekends (already here, to be accurate) after completing the acid rain Science PT. What a hectic lifestyle during my time of celebrations.

Speaking about Cikgu Saripah, I really emphatise with her feelings and experiences with 2X as a class. We were absolutely disrespectful to her during class time (much aggravated by Shu Kiat and Kristian, for their rave commentaries punctuating Cikgu's every statement) and the rest of us were not paying enough attention to what she was saying. An effective disciplinarian, I would say, and she can really express herself when the she has to. 2X really has to wake up now - already Term 1 Week 9, one-quarter of the year gone by now.

I went for Debating training today. A nerve-wracking situation it was. There were simply so many with prior experience in debating and frankly, I won't stand much of a chance against their argumentative abilities that surpass me in almost all ways. The instructor, Sheng Wu, wasn't what I would quite expect as a seasoned coach for debates. A lanky, young man, he looks roughly in his mid-to-late twenties, and speaks with a clear, refined tone and mixes well with the students. Even so, I now highly doubt my potential as a Raffles Debater. Well, it doesn't hurt to try.

Lastly, I'm applying for a place in the Student Committees (either OrgComm or RevComm). It'll be a test of my organisational ability and skills of refining and finding improvements in the school. To be applied next Monday.

Also, anyone from 6G 2004 planning anything for the coming March holidays? Please update the forum - it's really dead. Tag me also if possible.

2006-03-01T20:32:00.000+08:00

Time seems to pass by so quickly...it feels like only a few days ago when school just reopened, and now the first quarter is coming close to an end.

I've discovered that I've wasted a lot of my time doing unnecessary things. I bustle about, trying to fine-tune everything in the assignments and projects, yet I neglect the basics at the end. This can be explicitly shown in my way unsatisfactory maths CCT marks. 10/30. Strangely I don't seem to feel anything even though there's a very slight nagging feeling that only tells me I should work harder the next time. Perhaps I've already prepared for the onslaught right after the test myself. Fortunately the rest of the other subjects are relatively well-accounted for - at least I'm quite confident of scoring or maintaining previous standards. Too much TV? Too much comp games (N/A, since I hardly have time)? Basically I stone too much. I can sit and stare and totally switch off for 5 minutes. I need a break.

This has been accentuated by the boring things that happen every day. One 24-hour day becomes one minute. Class periods fly by. Frankly speaking, the only things that add life into my life is reading.

Really looking forward to March holidays...

2006-02-23T23:32:00.000+08:00

I guess I should be elaborating on the proceedings of the Geography CCT first, but today's outcome of yesterday's unsavoury incident yesterday is much more important...class unity at stake...

During English lesson today, Mrs Seow led us to the Computer Lab 1 to do research for the newspaper report that we were working on. For a half-hour everything was peaceful, until Ms Tsang came in to address us in the middle of our research. I heard that Ornan, the victim of yesterday's incident which I will elaborate on further, had reported directly to Mrs Lim, the Year Head 2. That was what I half-guessed at that time.

Initially I was supportive of Ornan - especially since he was victimised and abused at yesterday. But I cannot ignore the fact that both parties are indeed at fault. Bystanders did not mediate the situation. Active abusers and the retaliators did not exercise self-control on themselves. Things would not have escalated to such a severe degree if both sides had bothered to apply self-restraint and moral principles to their actions.

But again it is undeniable, from my eyes, who instigated the first abuse. Don't accuse me of slander or making unfounded observations. I clearly remember that Chen Chen and Bryan did have previous encounters of picking on Ornan, be it in class or during recess. There can be no doubt about that, and in retrospect I should have stood by my principles when the event happened.

However I am convinced that Ornan is also at fault - he need not have rebutted when faced with strong remarks. A mature course of action would have been to report the event before it deteriorated into direct confrontation and to the extent that neither parties are able to maintain diplomacy.

I guess the greatest blame lies with the bystanders - me, Mark, Kenneth, Ben Yong, Tian Yang and so on - in fact anyone who was present to see the event or hear the words at the point of time. I did try to remain calm for the sake of pacifism in the confrontation. Yet I wholly misunderstood the severity of damage the abuses had on Ornan.

Ornan, as far as I know, is not the only case so far. To tell the truth even the CEC are afflicted by the snide comments that the group of Sec 2A'ers have made. Should they have reported the matter to teachers? Or would it still be better if no action was taken? Teachers have their own matters to take charge of. Should we bother them with such trivial matters? Though these questions may seem superficial, the implications of the actions that are taken are greatly concerned with central moral beliefs.

So what should I have done? As an observer, a bystander, I greatly regret not addressing this problem to teachers wiser and more experienced than a bunch of 13-17 youngsters entrenched in the raging fires fo their hormones and subject to violent outbursts from time to time. Stand up for what is right; for your moral courage, and the truth shall prevail.

In hindsight, I strongly believe that the matter has not resolved, even if teachers who trust us to settle the affair amicably have closed the case. Even with the better judgement of the teachers I still feel a need to voice my concerns over the stability of the situation. The two parties are no longer on talking terms, and as a neutral party, I, my other classmates, the whole of 2A must mediate for the sake of the unity of our class.

To think that we could spend one year together and be labelled as a united class...

On a much lighter note, the Geography test was far different from what I expected. No MCQs, and hardly much memory work to answer the questions. Basic pointers are still relevant though. I think I can score for this test.

2006-02-21T23:20:00.002+08:00

I'm rather depressed today.

I think I'm beginning to buckle beneath the homework, assignments, projects and tests that keep coming day by day. I'm not sure if I can still maintain the standards that I set for myself last year. Can I still get 3.83 by end of the year? I think it should be observable through my maths results so far. (Hint: Maths is my poorest subject so far. Regular visitors should know.)

Some calculations:
Maths Test 1: Estimated 18.5/30 lost, mind you.
18.5/30 x 7% = roughly 5.2 lost
TA 1: -1.96%
TA 2: -14/55%
TA 3: -1.49%
Maths PT: -1.4%
Total: Roughly 9.1% lost for the whole year.

No need for further talk on this.

Through my newly-installed MSN messenger I communicated with Ms Tsang and found out my Science marks prematurely: 28/30. Sounds quite all right at first, but there are at least 4 other classmates who have confirmed a score of 30/30, with Mark scoring 32/30 - even the bonus was answered impeccably. So by the Science marks again it is observable where I stand.

English. Apparently the prose diagnostic test was taken off from CA because no one (in my knowledge) has managed to pass for the test. The entire class of 2A failed miserably, much to the chagrin of Mrs Seow. I got 4/15 - which she sarcastically said was a good mark.

History was more of an uplift rather than a letdown like other subjects - it being my strongest subject last year and now. I got a rather okay grade of 14/15 for the time-based class assignment, and it quite shows that I'm (luckily) still on track for History.

So far the assessments up till today have seemed rather bittersweet - so much that I'm unsatisfactory in, yet some consolations and pleasant surprises along the way. I think this will be the academic lifestyle I'm going to lead if I don't try to buck up before the end of Term 1. Hopefully the light of RI can cast off dark shadows that hinder my way to the golden 3.83...

The RE meeting today was a cliffhanger at the end. Ms Tsang said she wanted to enter our group for the SYSF (Singapore Youth Science Festival) science investigative research competition. Of course it won't be plain sailing, since if we try to enter we would have to face the Secondary 4 seniors, who, of course, would have much more expertise and experience before us in their projects. And then there's an internal selection for groups before a Science teachers' judging panel...and everything to be ready before the first two weeks of March 2006. Time is of the essence, and if we can't make a decision as to take the risk to carve out a niche for ourselves or focus on schoolwork and do a year-long RE project, good time will be wasted. I'm still awaiting my fellow group members' response.

On a lighter note, I finally laid my hands on the second-hand zhongruan mentioned in the previous blog entry. It's made of rosewood and sandalwood (if I'm not wrong), which is a better quality wood than those belonging to RICO. From Mr Ling, the original cost of the zhongruan was actually about S$600 initially and now it's mine for only S$120. What a great discount. I've also found it to be better to play with than the existing ones at school.

2006-02-21T23:20:00.001+08:00

2006-02-18T10:41:00.000+08:00

Just to report a few matters that have happened this week...firstly the deal to buy a ruan. I think some, if not most, of the readers of my blog are not familiar with CO instruments, but a ruan (references available on the homepage) is a plucked instrument that I play in RICO. It has a tuning of G-D-g-d and ranges from soft, mellow tones to powerful, stirring music. Sounds like a guitar really.

Anyway, with that brief introduction to what I play, the 弹拨 instructor Mr Ling asked me if I wanted to buy a zhongruan, which he had at the moment, since one of his students was carrying a second-hand one. He said that it would cost between S$100 to S$120, a quarter of the price of a brand-new one, which would cost about S$400+. Although it would be a second-hand instrument, and had a missing ornamental piece, the ruan would still be a good buy. Which was why I think my father agreed to the deal.

On Tuesday there was a NE talk by this Major Lien who was an old RI boy, about 30+ years old. He was wearing some army uniform but didn't really look like a military person to me save for his shaved head. He was not exactly boring, since it was after all a talk on the military - then naturally onto NS. The Q&A session that followed undeniably digressed from questions about the safety of Singapore as a whole to life in NS. I did ask a question regarding Temasek Holdings taking over Shin Corporation and the impact of such economic actions on Singapore's financial and political safety, but Maj Lien did not respond to it as he said it was not in his field of knowledge.

The English CCT was held on Wednesday, right after PE and the Maths Topical Assessment - which I failed by 0.5 mark. Maths is by far my poorest subject to date, since I hardly find any time to practise much every week. So I got a rather low mark for the TA. The English CCT, on the other hand, was relatively easy. There was no summary to write, but I still could not finish the last half of a question in the paper. Hopefully the rest of the questions can cover that mistake.

Yesterday was the Science CCT. It was quite manageable on the whole, except for three of the questions which I'm not so confident with now. Do I need to draw brackets around the diagram of NH4+? Or is it FCl or ClF? Perhaps this isn't the time to bother with post-CCT questions now...better concentrate on preparing for Maths CCT.

In spite of my inability to run fast for the 400m track event, somehow I was chosen to run for Buckley. Nothing really came out of it except a slight heartburn, muscle aches and a single measly point for Buckley. At least there was one point. I really think Buckley won't have much hope unless everybody takes part in 3 events, as the EXCO said. What a waste it would be if all those "measly" one points were not taken up quickly enough.

Also, Arts@the Atrium. RICO performed three pieces for 20 minutes of the 45-minute recess. Still, I think it was too short a performance, when other people who played piano solos could last for the whole recess. Nevertheless Ms Lim said we had some passion then in our performance, and it was good that it surfaced. Still too early to say that we are on the way to a SYF Gold with Honours though. 龙吟 maybe?

2006-02-10T20:41:00.000+08:00

A few things to note since Monday. It seems that my bid to join the RI Science Club has been unsuccessful. Perhaps it's the answering technique that I had used during the selection test. The system was such that correct answers gained two marks; unanswered zero mark awarded; and wrong answer a -1. I, being unfamiliar with this scheme and not that scientifically proficient in the first place, thus tried to answer every single question...and so I lost out in the selection test.

But not to worry, because my other bid to audition for the Debating team a few weeks ago before the Chinese New Year celebrations has been looking up till now - and I'm awaiting the start of the second round of auditions. Pray that I succeed...

Enough about CCAs for now. Week 6, this week, will be end of my so-called "preparatory" time before all the CCTs arrive to bombard my school life. From Week 7 to 10 I will be taking CCTs for all subjects and this means only one thing: serious studying and revision. Actually there's not very much to worry about, since on average for every subject there are only two topics that are to be tested in the CCTs...still, I have to work very hard for the upcoming tests. My only hope is that the other projects, assignments and so on won't interfere with my essential revision...

A short commentary on a recent event - regarding the controversy over the Prophet Muhammad cartoons. There have been violent riots and protests among the Islamic nations around the world, including our neighbour Indonesia. It is rather sad to see how much damage can insensitivity of the Danish publishers can affect the feelings of others who are so faithful to their religion. In my opinion freedom of speech is still very important and treasured in the world; but we have to draw the line clearly between what is considered hurting to various social groups among our society and the notion of what is freedom of speech. I don't think we can call ourselves mature people of the 21st century if we still can't make it clear between the two. These things cannot happen again as they are the catalysts that threaten the thread of harmony that binds together all peoples of the world.

2006-02-05T18:57:00.000+08:00

There was an outage this morning, but I discovered that the entry I posted on 4th February had somehow disappeared...hence today's update.

As I was saying (or complaining) yesterday, I still have a Geography PT, English project on the portrayal of Jews in films and books to complete in the next two weeks, plus additional homework that I feebly tried to clear today. Hopefully no more projects come my way in the last five weeks of this term though, or there might not be enough time to finish all my homework.

The day before, on 3rd February, Chen Wei, the former composer, conductor and ruan player of RICO visited and spoke sharply to us. I can only agree with him, no matter how bitter his comments were about our unsavoury conduct in presence of the conductor and teachers, who have put in so much effort to up our performance. Especially for the benefit of the Sec 1s who are slated to come in to the main orchestra in a few months' time - faster than usual, in preparation for the Sec 2 batch of SYF players in 2007. Sincerely I hope that RICO will buck up soon, not just for the sake of SYF.

Today, after trying to accomplish the PowerPoint slides for the English project, my family went out to 大舅母's house for a family 团圆饭 - I know this seems late, but everyone had their obligations to meet during the actual first few days of Chinese New Year, hence today. Nothing much out of the norm, we had a steamboat lunch accompanied with some culinary favourites of my 大舅母. Then for the next one or two hours we were idly chit-chatting among ourselves, while I caught on with some homework in 大舅舅's study room on the first floor.

We then went to 婆婆's place of rest in the Lim Chu Kang cemetery to pay a visit to her for the New Year and also the first in the past three months. It has been ages since more than one nuclear family on my maternal side has congregated to visit 婆婆. It must have been a pleasant surprise for her.

That wraps up the day up till now, and I'm still concentrating on my homework...

2006-01-31T22:12:00.000+08:00

So far, Chinese New Year has passed by quite like before - meaning that I have been doing homework for much of the five-day holiday since Friday. It's quite depressing really, when I have to focus on doing homework while others can take time to relax, to watch television, chat among themselves and engage in otherwise leisurely activities for CNY. I have had many experiences when people look at me quizzically and ask why I'm doing my homework on this festive occasion...it's not that I'm hardworking, but because of obligations that I have to attend to even in my free time.

Enough about homework. I must comment that I have had more time to mingle with cousins and relatives for the five days than in previous years, although this improvement is only very slight. As with tradition, the paternal family grouped together for a rather scattered dinner of steamboat and some homecooked dishes. My family can be described as rather different from others; we don't sit together around a table and eat together; neither do we really dress up and present oranges to elders and receive angbaos only after presenting the oranges. The focus of Chinese New Year for us, is actually to simply congregate together and chat. The presence of one another is good enough as a reunion.

However, apart from homework, I was afflicted with a runny nose from 初二 to 初三. I was lethargic for what seemed like a whole day from morning to night because of my sensitivity to the dust in my bedroom in 阿妈's house. It also caused a sore throat and a nose running like a spoilt tap for the rest of the day...then I took some Polarax (r), making me more tired, but at least clearing up the nose passage. I still have yet to fully recover...

On the whole, CNY this year has been rather quiet as compared to previous years, especially with the absence of the Albert Hong Hall in my school. If the upgrading works continue as planned, even next year's CNY could be affected, as the constructions are slated to finish only in mid-2007. May the spirit of Chinese New Year stay strong though!

And school is reopening tomorrow...

2006-01-27T23:11:00.000+08:00

Half-day today at school, which ended at 10 a.m. this morning. I had intended to visit Yangzheng in the late morning, however I was obliged to help out in moving instruments for RICO from the Guitar room to RJCO room, where we were based. And thus I missed going back to Yangzheng...but there was something else important I gained from the retrival of old documents and instruments from the Guitar room.

I came across a stack of old catalogues for the Voices of the Dragon I, II, III, IV, V, VI and VII - concerts that RICO had performed over its 18-year old history. The vivid pictures and comments of predecessors of mine and other present members was shocking. I had the impression that RICO was a CCA where members had less initiative than usual to contribute, but one look at the former successes of our predecessors - they are simply impressive. We are such a far cry from their standards...where was the RICO t-shirt that members used to don? The fervour and passion for the perfection of their music? The SYF Gold that our predecessors had sustained for close to 5, 6 years? It's rather depressing that RICO has seemed to partially lose her former grandeur. And so to all RICO members out there, I sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, beseech you to try your best in striving for the best in your music! With the coming of a new year, I strongly believe that the task ahead - the Esplanade performance - will push us up, if not higher than we have ever been before.

There was a rather appalling piece of news that was featured on 前线追踪 today. As the coming lunar new year is the year of the Dog, many CNY themes have been planned for a celebration of the dog. As such dog luxury shops have benefitted significantly from the pool of dog-lovers in SIngapore. My HMT teacher also talked about this news article on a person spending close to S$9000 on a gold scissors to trim her dog's bodily hair. And today in 前线追踪, people were ready to spend money on reunion dinners for their dogs. I fear, that the concern that should be placed on humanitarian efforts, to better peoples' lives, has been diverted to making dogs' lives more luxurious. Maybe I'm wrong to neglect animals' welfare, but I'm quite sure that slightly alleviating the economic troubles of millions in less developed countries that need the rich to help matter more than upgrading the already relatively comfortable lifestyles of domesticated dogs.

But to end off now on a lighter tone, here's a happy Chinese New Year to everyone! 祝愿大家新的一年里，万事顺利，身体健康，心想事成！

2006-01-26T23:35:00.000+08:00

I had quite a scare earlier this week, since the background picture of this blog was temporarily taken down (for what reason I don't know). Luckily the designers put it back on Photobucket, otherwise I would have to take out time to re-choose a blogskin - which for me is rather time taking.

The workload wasn't as heavy as I thought, even though more work was given to us over the days. Deadlines were not too pressing, and the results derived weren't too taxing either. But I will still have homework over the CNY holidays...

Malay classes started on Tuesday (24/1/2006) this week. Cikgu Saripah is a rather kindly teacher who is very motivated and taken with her mother tongue, and I admire her stand for her culture. The lessons though were a little high-level (especially since she wasn't trained to be a MSP teacher but a Higher Malay teacher). Well, the class was told off slightly today, since a few students were not paying due respect to the teacher - by throwing stationery at one another...hopefully such things don't recur again.

Happy Chinese New Year to all people around the world! It's just around the corner at this weekend, and though the school won't be celebrating the occasion, it would be good to keep up with the festive mood. I have to stay back for around 1/2 - 1 hour tomorrow, and as my sister told me, Yangzheng only ends school at about 12 p.m. plus and the teachers whom we want to meet will still be caught up with their lessons. Futher plans to be made.

2006-01-24T23:09:00.000+08:00

This is the most tiring week so far. And I'm only on Tuesday today.

There has been mountainous loads of work to hand in this week since CNY is around the corner, and as I explained previously on the 19/1/2006 post, the main and most obvious reason was to give us a clean break for CNY.

I also have had to rethink for my Commonwealth Essay - Mrs Seow said that it was too long, and could not go beyond 700 words. But it would definitely be a waste (especially for Ben Yong) if the word count were restricted...

I don't have to perform for CNY and the SGH staging, since the chance was awarded to those who had not gone for the Renci performance. But that meant more practice on 庆典序曲 and 长城随想 for the next few months or so...and those two pieces are by no means easy.

For this year's CNY, my family should follow the tradition of going back to Senai on 初一, to 大舅舅's house on 初二 and to anywhere else after which. This year we'll be going to Mummy's friends house for a sub-sub-sub medicine faculty social gathering at Uncle EK's house.

Which reminds me of returning to Yangzheng or visiting Mrs Koh first. School will end at 10 a.m. on Friday, so if no one is making plans to go to visit Mrs Koh, I'll try to go myself first for a tentative 1/2 hour and make my way to Yangzheng at around 10.45 a.m. Hopefully the 6G 2004 Yangzhengnites are going to stay for quite some time before leaving.

Any updates will be announced on the tagboard. Enquiries are welcome. (applicable to 6G 2004 Yangzhengnites only)

2006-01-19T22:07:00.000+08:00

There's been a lot homework for this whole week leading up to Chinese New Year. I guess the teachers are trying to cram every piece of work in the past three weeks to let us have a good CNY to enjoy. I'd very much rather the work be spread out though. By trying to squeeze so much in so little time will not yield good results or products. Hopefully this doesn't happen for other holidays.

I'm in a slight dilemma on whether to join Science Club or Chinese Calligraphy. I'm interested in both equally, and I can't make a decision over which to choose. However, I don't really have enough time for either, since I'm already in two other CCAs, so maybe neither will be chosen.

I went to Geraldine-jie-jie's wedding on Sunday (15/1/2006) which was held at the Pan Pacific. It was a truly lively event, as the newlyweds were captivating to the guests to their dinner. There was also a wide spread of dishes over 6-7 courses, making everyone full and satisfied at the end of the dinner. May the newlyweds enjoy conjugal bliss forever, etc.

RE group has been finalised. We are doing a physics (tentative) project on scratches on surfaces (its structure, and also the various methods that have been devised to remove the scratches. This was chosen because of the inherent problem of using glass-covered watches, which are prone to scratching, and also the scratching of spectacles lenses. A stroke of genius by Aaron!

Hopefully I'll be able to last out the week until CNY.

2006-01-16T20:06:00.000+08:00

Mrs Seow has finally returned to school after her compassionate leave, and sincerely I hope she isn't too emotionally affected to return to her normal life. What would become of my class' English?

Anyway, homework has started rushing in in powerful torrents since the beginning of the second week of school, and I've only recently completed the Commonwealth essay, which I can safely say I did not do well, since I spent almost a whole afternoon dawdling with it and not being able to think of what to write for the essay.

I also joined the Raffles Debaters today, responding to what could be called a small desire of mine to enter the fiery debates that I've witnessed so far. Luckily their training schedules don't conflict with either 3rd Language, RICO or calligraphy CCA. Hopefully it stays this way though.

I went to the SCO performance entitled "Age of Bloom" where the SCO played with four other previous musical directors / conductors gracing the event. Pieces like 庆典序曲、江河水的故事、嘎达梅林、王子与狮子 and 新加坡随想曲 were played, much to the delight of the audience.
It was indeed an impressive finale in a two-part performance on the 13th and 14th, with all four conductors conducting the last song one by one, after another, representing the continued promotion and appreciation of musical arts perpetually...

I wonder who are my new Sec 1 juniors who are in 弹拨 this year. Papa said that Uncle Lan's son, who plays the cello, was contemplating the idea of joining RICO. Don't know what's the outcome though.

2006-01-11T20:51:00.000+08:00

Here's another quiz that was retrieved from my peers' blogs:

THAT: YOUR IDEAL PARTNER!
1. State whether your partner is male or female.
2. Write down your 8 requirements of your ideal partner.
3. Tag 8 other people and notify them that they are tagged.

1. Female. (redundant question)

2. EIGHT SIMPLE REQUIREMENTS for my partner.

&one! Share same interests as me
&two! Roughly the same age
&three! Good character
&four! Within regular build and height
&five! Frank and outright
&six! Intellectual
&seven! Neat, clean
&eight! Nice

3. EIGHT PEOPLE I SHALL CHOOSE.
&one! Di Wei
&two! Aaron
&three! Jie Ying
&four! Caleb
&five! Shangxuan
&six! Jun De
&seven! Jingwei
&eight! Xu Rui

2006-01-09T19:21:00.000+08:00

To start off with, the performance, in Ms Lim and Ms Sung's opinion, was a successful one. But I've discovered one thing - commercialisation (if there's such a term) of the programme may have replaced the importance of the true quality of the music itself. Never mind if you don't understand it, but what I'm saying is that I don't think our music during the Renci Charity performance deserved such good ratings. Maybe better than usual, but not the best yet. Good try though.

Here's what I found on many blogs, and I shall attempt to answer some of these things.

SE7EN things that make me smile:
001. >3.8 GPA
002. The National Library
003. Any musical instrument
004. Theoretical Physics
005. Biochemistry
006. Age of Empires I, II, III
007. TV

SE7EN ways to win my heart (right now):
001. What?
002. Er...
003. What's the time now?
004. Oh...
005. So, what was it?
006. Uhuh..
007. I need to go toilet.

SE7EN things I believe in:
001. Democracy
002. The Unification of Physics
003. String Theory
004. Capitalism
005. The Straits Times
006. Friends and family
007. Myself

SE7EN things I'm afraid of:
001. Maths results <70
002. Failing NAPFA
003. Falling sick
004. Eating too much
005. Rain
006. >1 hr wait for Bus 156
007. Household pests

SE7EN things I do everyday:
001. Look
002. Read
003. Hear
004. Touch
005. Speak
006. Eat
007. Sleep

SE7EN people I want/need to see right now:
001. RE Group, for discussion over Science topics
002. 6G 2004
003. 1A 2005
004. 2A 2006
005. Mrs Jasbir Koh / Mrs Martina Ong
006. Parents
007. Albert Einstein

2006-01-07T21:09:00.000+08:00

Well, the big day on national television is coming up...just tomorrow.

Working in a complex show is not that simple, as I once thought. Participants of the rehearsal itself had to arrive at 1.30 p.m., almost 6-7 hours before the rehearsal itself even started. And the amount of effort and time placed into the production process is enormous. It's impossible to further exaggerate the vigour and pace at which production goes. The costume irks me a little, though.

These are the 3 songs to be played:

响宴
仁心慈爱照万千主题曲
牵手

Lincoln, Aaron, Kenneth and I have also formed the first Science RE team of the entire cohort...under Ms Tsang, of course. At first we were undecided, for about 2, 3 days. We wanted to find the suitable topic first before signing up for the appropriate subject it could be classified under. But the process was taking too long, since we also could not find a good topic of study in the first place.

Things changed when Ms Tsang called me up and asked if I could do a Science RE project. Lincoln and I were the members who wanted to do so, but I told her that I still had to discuss with the rest of the team. It was only halfway through the rehearsal that we finally managed to tell the verdict to Ms Tsang.

A few days ago Ms Heng, the HMT teacher, held an election for the CL rep. I was embroiled into it, and to my surprise, when Ben Yong gave his reasons as to why Marcus should be rep rather than me was allegedly due to the use of HR here. I shall not disclose it, but the feeling he gave was that I should try to become part of the CEC. Later during Maths period, when Ms Peh asked me to help her with the IT she was using (I was AV rep last year), Chenx2 hinted for me to sit down, while he (as the other previous AV rep) went on to help Ms Peh.

I wonder what it holds for me?

2006-01-04T21:49:00.000+08:00

School has started once again, and it's back to the old way of life - study, eat, sleep over ang over again. But the first two days were quite strange, for one thing.

My FT1 is Ms Tsang, who teaches Physics and Chemistry for the first part of the year, and the FT2 is Mrs Seow, a new teacher who will take 2A in English and Literature. But because of the special programme on the 3rd and 4th of January, which were taken up by a full day of doing nothing much but ice-breaking and litter-picking at East Coast Park. So I am relatively unsure of their respective teaching methods. However from schoolmates' comments and the experiences so far, I believe (and hope) that both FTs are generally getting on well with the class, and shall not have much problems.

I had a rather exhausting day at the East Coast Park this morning, picking up litter. With the results gathered, I can safely conclude 3 things: ECP has a lot of nitty-gritty bits of rubbish lying around, but accumulates into a huge sum if everything is collected, there are numerous cigarettes lying around on the ground and also the winds there are strong, if not cooling.

Next up will be the 8th January CO performance on Channel U live, for the Renci Charity show. Practice has theoretically ended, since all the instruments were transported to the TV theatre today around 6.30 p.m., and won't be returning until after the performance. We still don't know what the performing costume will turn out to be like...

Wishing all peers and students success and joy at school!

2005-12-30T22:31:00.000+08:00

The year 2005 is coming to an end, yet I don't seem to catch on to any of the festive mood over New Year's Day. I would very much appreciate it if the year ended slowly, since I never managed to rest well at all in the entire December holidays.

An overseas holiday can't be counted, since there's the hassle and tiring activities of a tour, and the Beijing immersion trip and Bangkok trip were no exceptions. Then there's all the RICO practices over the whole of the holidays, and recently escalating to a whole day's practice that leaves me exhausted...hardly any rest or leisure activities!

And unlike the rest of my compatriots in other secondary schools, I must say I'm blessed to NOT be streamed into new classes, to be painfully separated from old friends. Although I'm not the sort to grumble over such things.

Well, in the so-called festive joy in light of the coming year, a merry Christmas and happy New Year to all of the world all the same...and so I've changed the blogskin - a new endeavour on my part as a fledgling blogger.

2005-12-20T20:32:00.000+08:00

Yesterday and today - some two substantially interesting days of the holidays so far.

As a confimed member of the RICO to perform on 8th January 2006 on the Renci Charity show, I was practising doubly (maybe triply) hard for the two songs: Matsuri and the Renci themesong. This was an unprecedented high for RICO - we were never on television to the public before!

Well, I should count myself lucky to be a confirmed player rather than a standby one, since I'm just a beginner Sec 1 ruan-ist, and honestly I'm still very weak in terms of skills. But it does warrant me some hard work and major improvement in ruan skills, and there'll be much to look forward to.

Also, we were going to co-operate with the Superstars from Channel U, who would be singing along with the tunes.

2005-12-14T22:05:00.000+08:00

Again, another hiatus that has lasted for up to a month...here's some elaboration on the Beijing trip.

I've come back from Beijing for about two weeks or so, and it has been an extremely enriching living by myself in China. But because of another stupid bout of fever around the 8th or 9th day, I was held back from visiting the Great Wall (长城) and the Ming 13 tombs (明十三陵). But teacher I/C Mr Tan, again, kindly offered to take care of me for that day, and we visited the Lu Xun Museum and the Guo Moruo Museum as well. (Hardly a blessing in disguise)
I also bought a staggering 19 books from China as well as a Forbidden City DVD set and 3 CO CDs.

Back in Singapore. With only a month left, I have to drill hard for the numerous CO practices and the lingering homework that still mercilessly haunts me - still have 2 books to comment on, the booklet from the Beijing trip to fill in and to read that 三国演义. And then I'm leaving again for a family holiday on the 22nd this month. There's actually very little time to rest or prepare for the next year.

The holidays are growing more and more draggy and boring...if NOT for the homework!

2005-12-05T20:06:00.000+08:00

I've finally come back from Beijing! At least, that was one week ago...but it is good to return home after 9 days away in foreign lands.

The trip to Beijing, other than the visa incident, was plain sailing save for the bout of fever I caught on the day when we visited the Yiheyuan and Yuanmingyuan. I was feeling sick, and Pa and Mummy knew about it already. BUT I stubbornly refused to bother the teacher any further by telling him I had fever and a headache...and I actually took my own medicine that I brought with me.

As can be expected, Mr Tan was informed at last, and with the nourishment of ginger soup and two days of rest and the fever subsided. Subsequently I bought a Jingtailan decorated pen for him and an ornamental egg for Alvin, who had so kindly taken care of me for the two days.

At the end of the trip our Lu Xun group managed to scrape a bronze prize among the four groups. There was another group who had won the bronze as well, and that shows that we were actually the last team. Nevertheless, we could have been even denied the chance of receiving any prize...

2005-11-20T21:49:00.000+08:00

It has been such a long time since I last updated the blog here. Here are some of the things that happened since Oct 19...

RICO trip (4-6 Nov)
Because of a ridiculous bout of tonsillitis, I could not go for the trip to Malaysia. Can you imagine the horror? After numerous weeks of preparations, because of a virus that lasted for one day, I was cruelly denied the chance to go on the potentially enjoyable trip. Well, the past is the past now...and I personally only blame my own immunity levels for the slip up.
Anyway, I should be able to claim some money back from the insurance company.

Holiday Homework
No one in our class expected that we would have any homework for the December holidays - after all it was the end of the year, and to whom could we hand in our work? But the "unthinkable" happened, and so we were so-called blessed with something to while away the time with...by doing homework!
Luckily, the work given was not too heavy. Except for English and Chinese book reviews and commentaries, I don't see any pain in completing holiday homework. Just that orchestral practice may hinder the amount of time available to do the work.

Yangzheng Prize Presentation (18 Nov)
None of the 6G alumni ever anticipated being called back to Yangzheng to receive recognition for doing well during the 2004 PSLE. Neither did I really bother if I had any recognition for doing well, but after all it was accompanied with immeasurable prestige...and also a chance to catch up with the rest of the class. We all did nothing much, just idly chatting, seated in a single row at the ceremony and coolly awaiting the moment to be called up stage. After doing so, some of the more zealous ones - including me - went off in search for Ms Foong. We were unexpectedly held up at the staff lounge, where the teachers and the principal were eating and drinking. Everyone was nudgy and hesitant when called to join in by enthusiastic staff members. But after finding Ms Foong in the HOD Room, Mdm Loh also joined us and we all took a photograph together. I left soon after, while the rest either went for soccer or bowling. Too bad I couldn't join in, since I had to prepare for the Beijing trip...which I will talk about more seriously later.

Beijing Chinese Literature Immersion Trip (19-30 Nov)
The worst thing happened - I was held up at the airport for not having applied for a visa to China! It was, as my father described, a major "anticlimax" - and now a teacher I/C has offered to stay back for a few days while we try to apply for the visa. So far, I've now missed 1 and a half days of the itinerary, and the most important part of it - the visit to the Lu Xun Museum was lost.
Well, never mind. And tomorrow I'll have to apply for an emergency visa to China. Hopefully it'll get through...

Final update on end-of-year academic results

2005-10-31T12:03:00.000+08:00

I'm not entirely happy with this year's performance, since when I gloss through the papers, there are just SO MANY things where I could have done correctly, avoided common mistakes. Or I could have remembered certain straightforward facts for the humanities...

Again, all's been done and here are the interesting statistics gathered so far.

English + Literature

CT2 - 22.5/30
Total - 78

Maths

CT2 - 33/50
Total - 70

HCL

CT2 - 82/100
Total - 80

Science

CT2 - 38/45
Total - 81

History

CT2 - 24/30
Total - 83

Geography

CT2 - 18.5/30
Total

Malay

CT2 - 83/100
Total

Not too bad, but also not too good. These wrap up the academic year so far. And not to dwell too long on what's been done, I shall go on to what I'll be doing for the rest of the holidays!

I've some holiday assignments to do - English homework, Chinese book reviews, Maths Assignment 8. Aside from completing these things, I'll be reading all those books collecting dust on my table and bookshelf. Foundation series, Dan Brown, Michael Crichton, etc. All these will take up almost all the time in the December holidays.

Also, I will be in China from the 19th to the 30th for the Chinese Literature Immersion Programme. Few more weeks left...and before that, RICO trip to Malaysia on this coming Friday.

There was a flurry of performances on the 29th and 30th Oct - yesterday and the day before. The performances were successful - even our teacher I/C was in approval of our directions. Hopefully we can stay on in this way for the future performances to come.

Lastly, not forgetting the occasional computer game and social gatherings frequently held by the alma mater and present schoolmates...I don't expect to laze around at all during the holidays. There are CO performances on 13th Nov and 3rd Dec, and there will always be room for improvement in terms of my zhongruan skills.

2005-10-19T14:53:00.000+08:00

Ah, the bliss of post-CT2 relaxation!

Today was the last day - Maths CT2, and although there could be potentially -15 marks danger, I guess I wouldn't have been able to do much then anyway. It's been a tough time, really, since PSLE last year. There hasn't been another time when I was so pressed to work and slog out. But all's done, and I hope (sincerely) that the outcomes of the CT WILL BE DISASTER-FREE. English and (perhaps) history were the other two harder subjects. Projection for the year: 3.67-3.80 GPA

Upcoming concert on the 30th to perform. I think I've become rather rusty with the zhongruan, now that it's already been a month since I last performed with the RICO. Hopefully I'll be able to come up to mark with performance standard soon enough.

2005-10-06T23:26:00.000+08:00

Science Practical test and Maths CCT came back today and a few days ago respectively. Not very promising results though, since I only managed 17/25 for Maths, when I could have well got >20 marks. The Science Practical - 6/10, and the teacher did specifically mention that Practical was easy. And I did think so too, until I (suppose) panicked halfway through.

Well, all's done, and the only thing that will stand in my way would be CT2, which could potentially turn the tables around for the entire situation. Work hard, and I should be seeing a 3.73 - 3.87 GPA score, hopefully and without stupid mistakes that I make from time to time.

Mdm Loh of YZPS, as I've heard from my sister, is going to shift to somewhere else to teach, to which at this point I'm still unclear about. I will have to make further enquiries on the matter. Hopefully I'll be able to reciprocate what she had done for 6G in 2004. Mrs Kwek of 4G 2002, as I read in a newsletter some months ago, has left YZPS for quite some time too. Wonder where she is now.

Again, Literature teacher FT2 has announced her transfer to Xinmin in 2006. None of us in the class know if what she's saying is authentic. Such a pity it would be if she had to go. Still, best wishes to her if she does do so.

RE Congress yesterday. There were highly interesting research groups showcasing their inventions and innovative reseach results yesterday, but an anticlimax was created when YH1 told off the cohort for their impudent behaviour during the presentations. The students, for any reason I don't know, cannot keep their mouths closed and give courtesy to the presenters. I guess we did deserve it.

So this should wrap up the week since Monday 3/10/2005.

2005-10-04T22:20:00.000+08:00

30th September

30th September has since passed without any mishappenings, and I'm glad to say that the Maths test went quite well, save for the last question where I thought I could do, where everyone mysteriously gave a separate answer from mine. The feeling leaves one very wretched. Imagine if you were absolutely confident that you've passed a test or any equivalent with flying colours. Then something turns up later and serves as an anticlimax, or an aftershock. So the lesson is not to pin too high a hope for such things, unless the probability is confirmed to be 80% and above. Don't count too hard on something, and prevent yourself from being overly confident of unpredictable things.

The Malay Test, on the other hand, was quite a success, again, save for the listening part where the conversation was practically rushing to annihilate all the candidates. Basically everyone either half-guessed or fully guessed the answers to the questions. Hopefully I'm the latter.

Today

My sister's birthday - and she's 9 this year, in Primary 3. She may have aged one year, but she just incurred the wrath of her teacher in school recently. But she has grown, true to speak, and hopefully with the adding of 1 miniscule year to her age, she would be able to fare better.

I received 18 and a half marks for the Unseen Poetry test, and it has been quite satisfactory, even when there are 3 classmates who managed to get full marks. Congrats to them.

Stikfas representatives visited the school today to give a talk to students in Sec 1, and basically the hype of the event was the freebies that they gave out. Quite an ingenious idea to create soft movable toy models like the Stikfas, although I never realised they were a local product.

This week and the next will glide past soon, and the trophy of post-CT2 relaxation and refreshment awaits me...

2005-09-28T20:58:00.000+08:00

The tests finally tumble in altogether. So far, so bad.

On Tuesday, (27/9/2005) the Malay Oral Test was held, and it went pretty smooth all the way through the conversation with Kim Wee. We had only 5 minutes to prepare for "situasi di koridor", and we basically did everything impromptu from line 5 onwards. Though not particularly excellent, I consider it satisfactory performance.

Today was a total disaster. Um, not exactly. The Literature CCT was very difficult - few people actually could manage to say that it was easy. I found it hard. The paper was tough, and the questions prickly. Some classmates could not even really understand the questions or the poem at all. Later on, the Geography Pop Quiz was held in class. I lost approximately 1 mark in the definition of weathering - the BREAKING DOWN of topsoil/rocks rather than the REMOVAL of these rocks. Another one was the "fill-in-the-blank" question, where I put water erosion instead of sheet wash.

But all's done already, so I shall not lament further.

Two more tests remain to be sat for this week on Friday 30th September, and it will be the Maths CCT and Malay written exam. Hopefully I will scrape through the tests successfully.

Robot Drama tomorrow! As I've said before, I'll be taking up the role as a robot - the Model AX164.

2005-09-25T14:46:00.000+08:00

The performance at Bishan Park was held today, and in my own right, we did quite well, considering the miniscule preparations for the entire performance. However, due to time constraints, we had to cut off some songs, like the Heyken Serenade, etc. Still not up to the mark though, as the entire orchestra was not in harmony along some passages. Pa and Mummy came along with Mei, and gave their fullest support.

Decided to go for the Malaysia trip from 4-6 November with RICO. Luckily the trip did not clash with the Beijing Trip. This marks the end of practice from now till after CT2! More free time to concentrate on studies for time being.

Homework partially cleared too. However, I still have great tons of it lying around waiting to be completed. Hopefully I'll finish everything by Sunday late afternoon.

Saya mesti bercakap Bahasa Melayu di hari ini sampai 27hb September. Yes, I'll have to practise Malay for the rest of the week in preparation for the Malay Oral Exam. Hopefully I'll scrape through it successfully.

The Science Practical, yes. I totally wasted around 10 minutes of precious time by panicking for those few minutes. Fortunately I could salvage my situation after being told that 15 minutes was ample time to complete everything. 2 marks confirmed gone. Hopefully they're the only ones.

22/9/2005 - General updates

2005-09-22T13:18:00.000+08:00

Homework minor overload today. 2 Philosophy journals, 3 English Worksheets, Web design, Geography Assignment, etc. However, it was fun completing the 3-scene script for I, Robot. I'm the robot in 2005. Guess I shall be trying to act like one until Friday, where we shall hit the stage.

Surprise popping up everywhere too. Tomorrow there will be Maths Pop quiz, today a Philosophy Dialogue Observation (with positive comments!). Geography Pop quiz coming on in Week 4, and countless others. These "surprises" will be further elaborated on in the coming days.

The upcoming performance at Bishan Park is drawing near now, being only 3 days away only. Being a beginner Zhongruan player, I suppose its quite an achievement (for me) to accomplish about 7 musical pieces. Looking forward to performing.

A list of songs to be played:

(Change encoding to read)

小城故事
十五的月亮
男儿当自强
彩云追月
金蛇狂舞
林中夜会
Heyken Serenade

What happened today...

Changing my format again, I have decided on commentary-style description of today permanently until further situations come about.

Basically, today was dominated by the deluge of homework, homework and more homework raining down into my schoolbag. Slog it out, and I'll see the day in 3 weeks' time. Borrowed Digital Fortress from the HML today. I'm quite intrigued about the fiction by Dan Brown. The Solomon Key will probably come out next year.

The computer project also came crashing down on OW and me. Sure, we got the information, but the problem was getting the webpage done. Hopefully we'll finish it by Week 5, at the very least.

CO practice was rather a change from usual. Just as Mr Ling was coaching me, we moved to RJC to continue, delaying time by almost 20 minutes. Learnt the Heyken Serenade today. 5432 hard to manage at first, so I had to practice the four fingerings quickly. The only unenjoyable moment of practice.

Reminders as usual

21/9/2005 - General updates

2005-09-21T12:03:00.000+08:00

I have finally read Dan Brown's Deception Point from cover to cover. From my perspective, the book does have some interesting twists, but not as drastic as in Angels and Demons. It was enthralling though.

Next on the list - The Da Vinci Code. The one I borrowed from HML will expire soon, but I shall fret not.

Booklist:

The Da Vinci Code
Foundation series by Isaac Asimov
The Lord of the RIngs (I haven't had the time to touch it)
The pile of books collecting dust on my bookshelf
National Geographic mags

DESCRIPTION OF THE DAY

c. 10.00 a.m.
And I still cannot manage proper forward or backward rolls during gymnastics (PE) today. Actually, I am quite already resigned to the fate that I'll not do considerably well for the current module. Especially for a person who looks like he rolling sideways when he rolls forwards. But gym is still interesting and admirable, in my opinion. What shall I do for the routine...

c. 11.00 a.m.
A school badge was bought to prevent anymore previous occurrences of lost badges. The lady sold it at a 5-cent discount as she didn't have spare change. Still, I can't stop feeling bad about it.

c. 12.35 p.m.
A money management advisor visited the Sec Ones in the LT1 during RE today. It was excellent advice he gave. There are simply so many methods for growing one's money. Great job he did.

OTHER STUFF

Geography Food Quest by Wk 3
I, Robot Scriptwriting
Computer Project on the Olympics
Great Wall of China Project

Opening post for the CROWJS

2005-09-20T11:19:00.000+08:00

This is the very first post on my blog.

Honestly speaking, I consider myself not an IT-savvy person. I got a C for Computer Studies at school for the previous semester, and that, in my opinion, seems quite a testimony for a person like myself.

So...this blog shall be a testimony to some plain-sailing events throughout my life beginning from this moment henceforth.

What happened today...

Monday, September 19th 2005: The following significant events happened.

History presentation on Ferdinand Magellan, which ran quite well.

Common Class Test (åº”ç”�æ–‡)

Discovery of Jaren's blog

COMMENTARY

Well, I can't say I have a very exciting life at hand, but the Magellan presentation I made was impromptu. Personnel glitch, I would say. My other group member XTY had cut out his parts (no connotations) from the printout of the presentation itself and I could not refer to the paper.

Which was quite a fortunate accident as well, since the History teacher gave a postitive comment.

The CCT was plain sailing too, when I chose to write about me writing to a primary school Chinese teacher about my current studies in Secondary school. I think I really wrote a cliched letter, since it was about me asking the teacher for advice in time management.

And some acknowledgements to Jaren, for inspiring me to create a blog today, and MAKING HISTORY!

Reminders as usual...

Geography Food Quest Project by Wk 3
Great Wall of China Project

Links

2005-02-16T00:00:00.043+08:00

Other notable instances of my miniscule web presence
fond (of) commentary
reflexion reflection

Kinspeople
Jo-Anne

The Rest of the World
The rather spam-inundated, phishing scam-overrun and generally decrepit 6G forum
The regularly updated 6G blog
The rather well-used 2A forum
The ossified 4L blog
RA History
RICO Tanboyue
RICO Cello/Bass
RIPB website
The Jackson Brothers

Aaron Tan
Aaron Tiong
Abigail Ho
Amanda Chin
Amos
Andrew
Ashish
Ben Aw
Ben Yap
Biquan
Boyi
Brian Ho
Bryan Chia
Caleb
Carina
Charlene
Charis
Charles
Chen Chen
Cheriel
Choon How
Chrisanda
Chun Keet
Daniel John Tan
Daniel Ng
Dennis Heng
Di Wei
Dong Heng
Eden
Evelyn
Fiona
Elias
Gabriel Tan
Gabriel Tong
Geoffrey
Gilbert
Gregory
Guo Wei
Hai Wei
Hao Qin
Hu Ching
Hui Ling
Hwee Leong
Ian
Jaren
Jarrell
Jason Lim
Jeremy Sia
Jia Wei
Jia Yin
Jian Xiong
Jie Ying
Jingwei
Jingyi
Jon Lim
Jonathan Lim
Jonathan Shin
Jocelyne Sze
Jo Ou
Jon Lian
Joshua Tung
Jun De
Jun Xiang
Kang Jie
Keng Chee
Kenneth Siah
Kenneth Yong
Kevin Yap
Kexin
Kieran
Kristian
Kungfuzi
Leon
Li Young
Lim Min
Lincoln
Lyn
Lu Wei
Marvin
Matthew Chan
Matthias
Ms Edelweiss Yong
Ms Elsa Chew
Ms Kuang Ser Yee
Mrs Patricia Nathan
Mr Paul Lim
Ms Wincy Tsang
Nicholas Chee
Nigel Chua
Nigel Fong
Patrick
Pearl
Pek Wen Jie
Ren Yan
Renyong
Robyn
Rohan
Ronald Chan
Ryan Tan
Sadikin
Samuel Tan
Samuel Tay
Shang Xuan
Shan Zhi
Shawn Teo
Shikaye
Shi Yun
Shou Jian
Shreyas
Shu Mei
Sung Ming
Surya
Theodore
Thye Jie
Tze Ern
Wayne
Wei Zhong
Wen Qiang
Xiang Peng
Xu Rui
Yean Pok
Yong Jun
Yong Sheng
Yuda
Yunqi
Zhongren
Zimin
Zina

This Blog Happens be Authored by and be About

2005-02-16T00:00:00.041+08:00

Jun Sean
also known as 黄永祥, 阿祥, Sean, Junsean, Joonseen, Junsy, Sean-Sean (rarely applied)
who entered this world on 4 March 1992 | 壬申年农历二月初一
(More Salacious Details)

An Onion of 10A01A
a Rafflesian (Junior College: 2009-10) | BB07 O'utwit O'utplay O'utlast
and is from LAWSOC | Community Advocates | HISSOC | Drahma & BB Drama Feste

Also from 1A'05 – 2A'06 – 3L'07 – 4L'08
then still a Rafflesian (albeit Secondary: 2005-08)
was one of The RA-re Epitome of e-LIT-HIST-ism
and was from RICO, tanbo, zhongruan | RIPB, Discipline, RWO | Humanities Club | Raffles Debaters

And further back, hailed from 1G'99 – 6G'04 ('G' throughout)
of Yangzheng Primary School

and he incidentally is a/an/(neither, if no need for article 'a' or 'the'):

History buff, philosophy addict, perfectionist pedant, Chinese cultural aficionado, part- (mostly full-) time procrastinator, with a penchant for acting, comedy, spoofing, satire and laughing (at myself more than others)
Agnostic, which roughly means a state of complete confusion, vacuous vacillation and infidel indecision
Centre-left, statist, pragmatist, decidedly liberal on most occasions, conservative communitarian Confucianist on others
Terminally catching up on work, facing the computer, craving sleep; when free reads news, surfs YouTube for British comedy, disco music, Teresa Teng-esque oldies, Chinese operatic/orchestral music, a cappella; thinks too much and so has difficulty tempering his ambitions

and while coincidentally a user of Facebook®, cautions one and all of the potentially visually disturbing content as follows:

Wong Jun Sean | Create Your Badge

Warning: The author is not in any way, or part thereof, in whatsoever form, permutation or combination, responsible for your interpretation(s) of the content within or without this site, including the aforementioned Facebook® site. He thanks humanity for their kind understanding and cooperation in advance, and metaphorically extends an apple pie-warm handshake of utter welcomeness in gratitude to all who pass by here, and bother to read this load of drivel.

Huh?

2005-02-16T00:00:00.007+08:00

Legalistic disclaimer blah / License of Real Purpose

Apart from being a very incomplete record of the mundane happenings, monotonous thoughts and hapless rants in my life since 19 September 2005, everything as recorded in this site is purely my opinion, unless otherwise stated. I personally undertake all responsibility for all potential nuances and insensitivities that I may possibly articulate without forethought or the benefit of hindsight.

In other words, read the fine print, and take me to task where applicable to the above terms.

Whither a persistently metanarrative dream?

"A dream, on the other hand, carries you on its wings to worlds that your heart and mind have never known." Colin Goh, Woo Yen Yen

"I still feel kinda temporary about myself." Happy, Death of a Salesman

"The propensity to feel self-esteem arises out of the part of the soul called thymos [...] The desire for recognition, and the accompanying emotions of anger, shame and pride, are parts of the human personality..." Francis Fukuyama, The End of History and the Last Man

Yes. I know there’s a huge barrage of words hurled in your face now, and I don’t particularly blame you, the reader, for feeling that way. Why does this guy spout so much excessive verbiage? Somehow I consistently see this as a flaw of mine. It seems so wrong to not be able to control my “verbal vomit” (Lok, 2007).

Behind this veneer of word spam, however, is something important. It’s a particularly persistent chain of thought I had since this blog came about (for reasons by now forgotten) in the form of trying to chart a history of my life from 19 September 2005. It’s an idea that, however convincing and disconcerting, has been the very mistake I’m committing by typing this out as an explanatory note on what this whole blasphemous chunk of words, i.e. this blog, is all about.

The ultimate postmodernist word, the metanarrative, as referenced in the title is simply supposed to be a grand, authoritative story of things that happen – and in this case, also what I think this blog is supposed to encapsulate about my rather self-absorbed life. Truth is, from postmodernism, this is futile. Everything counts. The implication is that no one can be fully authoritative of any single area of knowledge. And this includes the self. The thoughts bursting forth, soaring high and dying off in our brains. Quite chim.

I’m not exactly professing this train of thought, but somehow, when one looks at all this and says, “so what?”, there’s a nagging sensation of helplessness and fatalism when we consider all this.

And when you link up this thought with the rest of real life – observe the relativity of it all, the emotional highs and lows of seeing how your confidence pays off and not.

If postmodernism can raise the question of “what’s the point of knowledge,” then do we have an answer to “what’s the point of life?” if we realise that life is made up of all of these bits and pieces of things, that will only disintegrate as we pass on? What's the point of having dreams to target for, if we don't even know who, or what, or how to define them?

"Well, that's a load of meaningless drivel. Isn't it?" Yes Minister

I think it is. Unless some philosophical genius can save us, it's Hume's mitigated scepticism for me, thank you very much.

Exit to real life.